6 days in and help needed!

[Fufulina]

Hi - my DD is 6 days old, and I am finding BF pretty tough. My main concern is that she is not feeding enough - she feeds on average 4 times in 24 hours - and looking at the notes I've taken, that's for about 90 minutes in total in a 24 hour period.

She is not jaundiced, the MW has just been round and she's active and what not, and she weighed 4550g at birth, 4320g on Tuesday (day 3) and is now 4160 (day 6). She was born by planned c-section at 42+6.

She sleeps for up to 6 hours between feeds - although I have only let her go that long once, even when I wake her up after 4 hours - she hates being on the boob until she's ready, so we invariably have an hour or so or wrestling before she latches on. When she does latch on, she seems very efficient, and gulps it down, and wthere's no bobbing on and off.

To complicate matters I am having to use nipple shields becasue she couldn't get to grips with my flat nipples and enormous boobs - and I think that is also affecting things.

My questions are:

1. Has anyone else had a baby that feeds so rarely and sleeps so long at this stage?
2. I am expressing (on the advice of midwife), but does this not then compromise the amount of milk there for the next feed?

Thanks so much in advance. Who knew breastfeeding would be so damn stressful!!?

kd - its really important you pick your baby up to comfort him. It is not a rod for your own back - yes, it has an effect, of course it does i) it soothes him and lets him know the world is a good place and he can trust the people he needs to love him and respond to him ii) it lays a good foundation for emotional and mental well-being iii) if he feeds at this time, he gets milk and you make more

Please don't let crazy old-fashioned notions of 'spoiling' prevent you comforting and showing your love to your baby

NOOOO you are not making a rod for your own back. You are loving your tiny baby. Please worry about that stuff much much later, honestly. He is still so small.

kd - you will have days when you feel you never leave the sofa and are feeding constantly - but it is the best place for your baby to be in your arms and feeding whenever they want. Just make sure you have a plentiful supply of snacks and lots of water to drink and sit down to watch all the fab christmas daytime TV.

Make the most of it - it will seem really hard at the moment but try and enjoy these precious early days.

it is hard in the early days - but it does get easier - I promise!!

kd - you're baby doesn't understand manipulation just yet. he wants to be comforted so you should pick him up. you are definitely not making a rod for your own back.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the replies. I ended up holding him and feeding him periodically until 6am when my partner took over and baby promptly fell asleep.

I managed to get some sleep until he woke for another feed at just gone 9am and this time, I fed him in bed.

I know many advocate co-sleeping, but for me this is not negotiable as a) I am normally a very heavy sleeper and b) I am drugged up to the eye balls with painkillers, antibiotics and having to take lavender baths to heal war wounds, which are making me feel both sick and drowsy. I therefore, don't want to take any risks.

I think half my problem is lack of confidence, we appear to be getting the hang of breast feeding better, I just want him to be thrive and do well.

How are you getting on Fufulina? sorry I seem to have hijacked your thread!

kd - have you thought about a bedside cot?

Hi kd - hijack away! I am also struggling with the pick her up/rod for back dilemma despite saying before she was born that i just wanted to enjoy her, and that you can't spoil a newborn - BUT I think my mum's opinions on parenting are more deeply entrenched than I realised and am in a state of worry that I AM spoiling her and she needs to fit in with us. She's 10 DAYS OLD! Ridiculous I know.

We're doing ok though thank you. She's feeding regularly and today has started waking for feeds during the day - every three hours - which is lovely as we don't have the constant falling asleep on the boob! I've also, I think, worked out that she isn't always after boob, and is quite happy with sucky finger for 3 minutes to get her calm enough to put down (we have no trouble until about 4/5pm and then we have been having fun and games until about 2). So hopeful that the sucky finger trick will do the do tonight!

kd - hope things are getting better for you?

x

Hi Fufulina

Good to hear from you .

Agree that parenting skills can be deeply entrenched and therefore you constantly battle with what was good for me and what is the latest parenting advice.

Little man has been very unsettled recently but suspect this is due to a growth spurt and that this has now passed as he has slept for the past 3.5hrs and due to be woken shortly. Has your daughter put on her birth weight yet? He hasn't although the midwifes say they aren't concerned.

Are you still under the care of your midwife, I am but that is due to post birth complications more than anything!

Well going to start the day with little man wake up call and see how we get on today.

Hope your day is good and hope you can reply when you have the chance.

KD

kd - ds didn't put his birth weight on for 3 weeks so don't worry about that yet. round here you stay under the midwife for the first 2/3 weeks i think.

Morning kd. Well - yesterday was another good day, which went to pot ion the evening. She is an angel all day - feeds bang on three hours, sleeps well and has no trouble going down for her naps, but come the early evening, she gets outraged. So last night she didn't sleep from 9 until 2 - very exhausting - and was bobbing on and off the boob. Then she slept until 6.30, and was up again at 10 - bright eyed and bushy tailed and gorgeous again! She is a mystery!

When I last saw the midwife (Sunday), she had put on the weight she'd last between days 3 and 6 and the midwife is coming again tomorrow. Although I doubt she will have put on her birth weight but like you the midwife said as long as it was an upward trend she wasn't worried, and she's pink and healthy and alert.

Am on 28 day care (thank goodness - find it so reassuring that the midwives are still involved!).

Here's to another good day for us both - so glad things are settling down.

Liz

it could be colic if it is specifically in the evening when she gets upset. i would try some infacol or dentinox colic drops to see i that makes a difference.

Hi Fufulina

I would offer to swap babies, but I fear that they are very similar!!!!

Spent yesterday with family and he slept like an angel, in the evening he was fine and by 1am you would think we were abusing him. His screams (yes screams) were practically waking the neighbours and no amount of loving, holding, feeding would calm him. We just had to keep offering him a feed to settle him and the minute he was put back in his moses basket, we would start the cycle again!!!!

Anyway, he did eventually settle and then slept waking every 3/4 hrs again. I think though, we had overstimulated him in the evening by playing with him and therefore he was just beyond tired. Lesson learn't!!!

Hope your night was ok. These babies aren't half hard work!!!!!!