lbb.... i've already stuck my oar in on fab feb but i just wanted to say with regards to your ds wanting to try... dd was 18 months when ds was born and remembered nursing (she stopped at 12 months) but i managed to avoid letting her without any jealousy or tantrums.
once or twice in the first weeks when she was sitting next to me while i fed ds she leaned forward as if she wanted to latch on but she was very slow and uncertain of it and i simply said 'you're a big girl now dd aren't you, you don't want mama milk do you' and she stopped.
oddly enough ds is 29 months now and still bf and i'm preg with dc3 and feel completely differant about tandeming, which is making me feel quite guilty about discouraging dd but i know that the decision was right for us at the time.... she pretty much self weaned so it's not like i forced her to stop and starting to feed a toddler when i had a new born would have been very differant to the slow transition to feeding a toddler that i had with ds. besides, i gave her bm in a cup one day and she spat it out... cheeky monkey!
i do think that this decision has to be based on what you feel is best for you and baby..... there are pros and cons to ds either way but he'll adapt whichever you choose, you need to be hppy with your decision and i've got to say personally i think you may not be able to make this decision til dc2 is born.
feeding ds was a completely differant experiance to feeding dd, your ds had reflux too iirc so i'd imagine the problems we had in the first day with our firstborns were quite similar.... constant feeding, puking, screaming, sore nipples, bleeding nipples, baby screaming on and off the breast, baby not sleeping?
ds was a completely differant child to feed, and your dc2 might be alot easier too.