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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

I have just been made to feel like a bad mother because of the 'way' I BF - I'm not am I?

35 replies

TheHopefullyAndTheIvy · 22/12/2008 14:57

I got chatting to a lady in the doc's surgery, who was BF her baby (I'd guess he was a bit older than my 13 week DS, perhaps 5 months?) and we were discussing BF and how lucky we are to not have any major problems.

She then asked how DS sleeps at night, and I said he's pretty good now, and usually makes it from his 10:30pm feed through to 5-5:30am, and every once in a while makes it through to 7am

She looked at me in horror and exclaimed, 'but BF babies his age need to feed at least every few hours in the night. I bet you've forced him to take big feeds through the day to make him go through the night. That's really unhealthy for them you know - their stomachs can't take it.' She then added something about obesity because he won't be able to regulate his appetite due to me force feeding him (in effect). She said all of this with a helpful smile and I was too shocked to be rude to her in return before I was called in for my appointment.

However, she's now made me all worried! Someone please reassure me that it's ok! I was so pleased with our 6-7 hour sleep stretch and now she's ruined it for me.

DS has always fed for a really long time (40-70 mins from birth) and now only feeds around 6-7 times in 24 hours.

OP posts:

PuppyDrunky · 22/12/2008 14:58

Well I know absolutely bugger all about this, but it sounds like you are doing everything right to me if your baby sleeps so well.

Lulumamaloveslatkes · 22/12/2008 14:59

you can't force a baby to take more milk from the breast than they want !! goodness me, if it is working for you and your babe, then fine. perchance she is a bit upset that her baby is not sleeping as long at night?

do you really think you are force feeding... ? are you sellotaping his head to your boob?

don;t let her knock oyur confidence.

you might find next week he is up all night with a growth spurt

HTH

ChrismumMiaow · 22/12/2008 14:59

Ignore her. I don't think you can force feed a BF baby. My DS still wakes for a feed at 11mo, and cluster fed loads etc. However, I know babies that fed 3-4hourly, slept through from 6 weeks etc and their mum never force fed them!

Surely, if your baby is healthy and growing well, everything is fine!

hercules1 · 22/12/2008 15:00

I would be a little worried at a 13 week old went this long without feeding. If it his choice ie never wakes up I dont see what you can do about it but 6-7 times is not much in 24 hours. They can only take a tiny amount each feed anyway so how long is kind of irrelevant.
I coslept with mine so was always on tap.

spicemonster · 22/12/2008 15:02

My DS was also going 6-7 hours at night at that age. You can't force a baby to feed surely?

wrapstar · 22/12/2008 15:04

I'd have been thrilled to bits if mine had gone that long at 13 weeks. Very ! If he's not waking up, he's not hungry.
Take no notice. You are doing briliantly. She sounds a bit mad.

hunkermunker · 22/12/2008 15:06

If he's gaining weight, has wet and dirty nappies and is generally alert and pretty cheerful when he's awake, you can safely ignore this woman. Some people judge as a hobby, it would seem!

nappyaddict · 22/12/2008 15:06

DS never fed more than 6 times in 24 hours!

hercules1 · 22/12/2008 15:07

Original poster

TheHopefullyAndTheIvy · 22/12/2008 15:07

Darn it Lulumama, so you're not meant to duct tape them in place?

It is his choice entirely - if he wakes in the night, he is fed, I can't be bothered to attempt any other method of settling!

He fed what felt like solidly for the first month (the amazing non-sleeping baby), but then fell into pretty much a 3 hourly routine day and night at 5 weeks, and then began to drop night feeds at about 10 weeks.

OP posts:

fishie · 22/12/2008 15:08

she is probably absolutely pea green, desperately sleep deprived and being completely tactless. i'm quite jealous myself and ds is 3.9

(and your ds might have a growth spurt any day now, make the most of it)

Habbibu · 22/12/2008 15:09

dd used to feed from 5-10 pm at that age, and was NOT happy if I tried to prise her away during that time. Then she'd sleep 10-7. She's now 2, and regulates her appetite extraordinarily well: "No, mummy. I don't WANT ice cream. Just blackberries".

Bah humbug to waiting room lately. Ask her for research references.

Original poster

TheHopefullyAndTheIvy · 22/12/2008 15:11

wrapstar I did feel it was very unfair of her to keep her madness secret until we'd had a nice little chit chat about BF and how easy we found it etc. There were no warning signs!

Ds currently grinning at me from his chair after another 70 minute feed, and doing regular nappy explosions, so I think I will ignore mad woman and carry on as we were.

Thank you for the reassurance everyone, I was in a right old state! Not the kind of conversation you want to have 3 minutes before exposing your bits to a doctor to discuss your stitches.

OP posts:

misdee · 22/12/2008 15:11

his feeding pattern sounds similar to dd4 who is only 5 weeks old. my HV said it was good for her to go this long at 5 weeks in the night between feeds. but unusual lol.

misdee · 22/12/2008 15:12

his feeding pattern sounds similar to dd4 who is only 5 weeks old. my HV said it was good for her to go this long at 5 weeks in the night between feeds. but unusual lol.

Original poster

TheHopefullyAndTheIvy · 22/12/2008 15:12

Oh god, the growth spurts. I will probably be back in the waiting room being at her in a couple of weeks when she announces her DS sleeps for 5 hours and mine has stopped entirely again.

OP posts:

shitehawk · 22/12/2008 15:13

She's talking bollocks because she's jealous that her baby doesn't do that, too.

You're doing nothing wrong; what suits you and your baby is perfectly OK. The other woman isn't feeding her baby wrongly either - her baby is just different to yours. She was bloody rude though!

nappyaddict · 22/12/2008 15:14

wow misdee how long has she been doing that.

littletownofmeglethem · 22/12/2008 15:16

hopefully don't worry, she's just jealous.

LOL at lulumamas sellotaping head to breast comment .

lou031205 · 22/12/2008 15:18

DD2 went from 10-7 or 8 at 6 weeks, and was prem, so 2.5 weeks corrected. Was just her.

DD1 went from 7-7 at about 22 months! Was just her.

You are doing great.

chequersandroastedchestnuts · 22/12/2008 15:19

My DD used to sleep like this too at that age.

That all went out the window once we hit the 4 month growth spurt so I'd say just ignore her and enjoy it while it lasts.

Poledra · 22/12/2008 15:36

Cor, I'm jealous - 22 week old DD3 never sleeps that long. And she is a greedy little monster, who has a habit of stuffing herself then giving me back what seems like a small lake (mere, perhaps?) of unwanted milk after feeds. Obv that means I am forcing her to take long feeds

Original poster

TheHopefullyAndTheIvy · 22/12/2008 15:38

Ah Poledra, DS would never be so wasteful as to return milk! He has never posstted and literally vomited once in his life. I nearly died of shock!

OP posts:

tumpyfairygodmother · 22/12/2008 15:55

FFS what is the matter with people. You sound like you are doing a great job.

nappyaddict · 22/12/2008 15:55

lou - how is dd2's sleeping going now? I seem to be remember you posting a few threads a while back about trying to get her to stop feeding in the night after she'd stopped sleeping through at a few months old.

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