How much is she meant to have?!

[babylove123]

I have a 2.5 week old that i've been bf from day one. She is my first child. I have to say, it took around 5 days for my milk to come in and then it was slow so we had a rough 10 days...

Shes now feeding around every 2 hrs, about 12 mins and then she unlatches so i cuddle her for 10 mins and then if shes still awake, i offer her another feed which most times she does for a further 7/8 mins until shes very sleepy. However how much is she feeding from me?! I expressed for 20 mins and only got 50ml out....she gulped that down from the bottle and wanted more. Does she suck more than the expressing can?

The reason im asking is she was 7lbs 6oz when born, went down to 6lbs 9ozs. Is now back to 7lbs 2ozs but HV is worried a bit. However we're implementing new tactics which appear to be working as she was only sleeping 3/4 hours during the day......therefore HV says shes prob getting plenty from me but is burning it all off.

What do you think? How much should she feed at 1 sitting so to speak? Is there an idea on how many mls they have at a feed?

Thanks

i made this mistake, HV told me to suppliment my feeds with extra formula, but then daughter was less hungry, would feed less, therefore demanded less and i produced less. resulting in more formula needed... until i had dried up and gave up BF totally.
i didnt have anyone in my family who had bf, and no one to ask advice so i just did as the HV told me.
listen to ppl on here.. often they know better (imo )

Natty - do you feel you could complain about such poor advice?

no.

im not a complaining type of person (to the appropriate ppl, i love to rant tho!)
its too late to do anything now, expect make sure i dont do that with number three

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your thoughts and comments. I've only expressed for DD once and thats because i knew DP and i had to go out for 3 hours without her and she'd be needing a feed whilst my sister looked after her. I will express in the future and am wondering if i will be able to get more out now she is feeding a bit better.

As for the new tactics for sleeping, dont worry, she isnt feeding any less - infact more! She gets up between 7am - 8am every morning and i feed her every 2 - 2.5 hours depending on when shes asking (she sucks my face to tell me!) However this morning i got up at 8, i changed her, got her dressed and fed her - then HV came. Once she'd gone i changed her nappy again, fed her, cuddled her for 10 mins, then fed her again, cuddled for 5 and put her down. Shes becomming very dependant on DP & i for sleep (sounds like we're not the only ones!) and usually she'll just cry ALL day and barely sleep at all - she fights her tiredness and gets more ratty so its a vicious circle. By late afternoon im going crazy and get ratty with DP. However i spoke to HV and told her i wanted to see if she'd "cry it out". She told me to try so i put her down, pulled the door to and walked out. She cried for 12 mins then went to sleep and i got 1 hr 40 to myself! I repeated this all day and shes down for her 4th nap of the day now - its amazing! Shes feeding everytime she wakes up so is going no longer than 2 hrs.

I hope it continues!

Your HV told you to try letting a 2.5 week old baby "cry it out"??

I would seriously be getting another HV babylove123.

Have you tried a sling for your dd. You may find that being held close will be comfort enough to send her off to sleep.

babylove123 - i second what mawbroon has said about your HV. she sounds dangerous. A young baby will feed often as they only have a tiny tummy and will cry to be held as they are newborn and want love. I was under the impression that a baby should never be left to "cry it out" and controlled crying should only be used after 6months. If shes going 2 to 2.5 hrs i would think that was normal (my two both only went about that time at 10days old).

re going out and leaving her - cant you take her with you? she's only little and needs her mum

Please don't let her cry, babylove. Please change your HV.

Crying it out is in no way positive or even safe for a baby of this age. 12 minutes crying is a long, long time for a new baby - easily enough for a baby to give up in exhaustion and despair. What does crying it out teach a baby? That no matter how long he/she cries, no one will calm him/her or respond to his/her normal needs for human contact and food? This is not what most of us want for our kids - we want them to grow up trusting in us, our love and our responsiveness, and knowing that we think their needs are real and important.

This is not meant to be critical of you, babylove. You clearly want the very best out of parenting. But a baby of 2 weeks has no way of telling you they need you except by crying. It is good to respond to these cries - you are the grown up!

You and your baby deserve a better HV than the one you have. She is not fit to practice - I mean it

re: day sleeps, i read somewhere (might have been in the sleep thread) that small babies can only stay awake for a max of 1 - 2 hours and you need to watch for their tired signs and think about encouraging them to go to sleep as if they stay awake too long they get overtired and fight sleep. I know this is the case for my 16 wk old i encourage him to have a nap after 2 hours and if i don't he just ends up fighting sleep and then that puts him off feeding. Obviously each baby is different so it might be different for you.

jocie, I agree - some babies need a little help (rocking, soothing, cuddling) to get calmed down enough to sleep. I don't think there is any good evidence that this has to be done after a specific time - as you say, you watch the baby for the signs that sleep could do with being welcomed in

This isn't the same as letting a tiny baby 'cry it out', though, as I am sure you'd agree.

I'm sorry but i feel that you are in-correctly judging me and i'm not appreciating it. I would never let my daughter cry herself into a distressed state - i love her just as much as you all love your children. My HV is perfectly fine and we discussed this in great detail and it is working perfectly well for us. If you were here, you would see the difference her sleeping is making to her whole attitude and her feeding pattern. This is nothing but a positive experience for both her and me so i would prefer you not to make comments towards me in future. This thread was made for people to give me advice regarding how much she should be feeding, not to criticise my parenting skills. Thank you.

babylove I am really sorry to have offended you. I can understand you feel cross as none of us like to think our parenting is under attack - totally sympathise there

You got the info about how much she should be feeding, and the criticism was directed solely at your HV who may be very nice and supportive, but whose knowledge about newborn needs and feeding appears to be poor.

I can't withdraw any of that criticism - the facts are clear: crying it out is unsafe for young babies, substituting 1-2 feeds with formula is undermining to breastfeeding, and babies do not need to sleep more in order to gain weight....and your HV seems unaware of them

Hope it doesn't put you off posting again. You must know that mumsnet discusses these things, not everyone agrees with each other all the time, and as long as it stays polite...no problem, surely??

I appreciate that mumsnet is here to discuss things between people but i did feel under attack and i dont think that was fair considering you only had a very small part of a full story.

Theres no problem to discuss things between mumsnet users, just not to directly criticise what a mum chooses to do as she is responsible for her baby.