Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Help desperately needed! DS refusing my breast - 10 weeks

15 replies

star6 · 14/12/2008 19:52

I returned to work last week and he gets bottles of my expressed milk from 8am-3.30pm. I bf him just before 8 and right at 3.30 and sometimes in teh middle of the day as well. He drinks from breastflow bottle during the day with my good friend, who looks after him. It's all been fine, he's bf with me, bottle wth dh or my friend. Tonight he won't take my breast. Tried for 3 hours. He would settle with us walking around with him facing out... no other way. I tried feeding him laying down, standing up - everything! He wouldn't take it. I put my breastmilk in a bottle finally because he's so hungry (making all hungry signs) and he's taking it from DH - a bit restless, but he's taking it! I'm happy he's getting food, but so so he won't feed from me.
What could I have done wrong? I'm really really scared he won't bf anymore! What should I do? Please please help!
TIA

OP posts:
Kristingle · 14/12/2008 19:58

so sorry, i don't know the answer but bumping for you and hopefully an expert will come along soon

NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 14/12/2008 19:58

am no exoert, but i really seriously urge you to call a bf line for either the NCT or LLL or someone like that. proper trained breastfeeding consultant types are the best (and only) people to ask for advice. gp's, HV's etc are usually hopelessly out of date with their info.

hope things improve for you

thisisyesterday · 14/12/2008 20:00

star, would you consider ditching the bottles and having him cup-fed during the day?

MrsWalton · 14/12/2008 20:01

Bumping for you. Can't help much, but i'm sure someone will be along who can.

Try not to get stressed, it won't help, even though i know it's hard.

A la leche leager told a friend of mine who was having a few problems feeding, just to talk to him (DS). Sounds a bit daft, but if you relax, ask him what's up, have a bit of a chat with him about it.

Hope he gets back on track soon for you.

thexmasstockingmonsterofdoom · 14/12/2008 20:02

Ok being really upset bout him not feeding will not be helping, you need to calm it all down (I know easier said thab done). Try feeding in a darkened room, in the quiet or with very mellow music on, in the bath, basically anywhere you are relaxed. have tons of skin to skin, just crawl into bed with no top on and him naked now and cuddle. try to make everything as relaxed as possible, feed him when ever he looks interested but dont push it, the bottle should have calmed him down enough to take it at a sloweer pace. spend the rest of the evening just you and him skin to skin. hth

Original poster
star6 · 14/12/2008 20:02

not sure if my friend or dh would really know how to do that.... but possible. do you mean proper cup or sippy cup?
worried about settling as he uses feeding to settle to sleep...

OP posts:
MrsWalton · 14/12/2008 20:03

Even better, agree with Nappies ring LLL, they have been invaluable for me and my friends.

Original poster
star6 · 14/12/2008 20:06

thanks everyone... letting him settle with this bottle then will cuddle with him and call LLL.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 14/12/2008 20:08

you can use something like a doidy cup for him to feed from.

there's some info here

tenacityflux · 14/12/2008 20:23

My DD has being doing a similar thing, she's just turned 10 weeks. She was really bad at her bedtime feed, but would still feed at other times, we tried feeding lying down, in the dark, walking around, but in the end we had a few days feeding her from a bottle at that time while I expressed, and every day would try the breast first and if she refused, give her a bottle to take the pressure off. After 10 days, she has had a good breast feed tonight and Friday, was worse yesterday but managed 15 mins, so perhaps it is getting better and being 'relaxed' about it and not pushing the point may be working, but perhaps feeding your DS with a bottle and keeping up the expressing to reasure yourself you won't loose supply might help you relax and help him feed better? Do all the skin to skin stuff too, when he's not hungry, I did too and perhaps that helped, and sling wearing if he won't settle - best of luck and really thinking of you!

tiktok · 14/12/2008 22:37

star, hope you get some good support from LLL. Can I maybe suggest another thing? Babies notice when their life changes, and when their mum is not there when she used to be. Your story - confused, distressed reaction to the breast (which is more than a 'deliverer of milk' ) - is really not that uncommon when a mum goes back to work, or is separated from the baby. There was a thread on this last week, when a 4 mth old went on 'strike' after his mum had to leave him for (I think) 12 hours.

He will come back to the breast, given patience and closeness - but is there any way you can reduce the time you are away from him, and work up to the 8-3.30 thing gradually, and aybe not every day just yet?

Just a thought.

Jennylee · 14/12/2008 23:32

have you suddenly started wearing perfume for work ?, once that put my ds off for a whole day until i had a bath, just a thought.

Original poster
star6 · 18/12/2008 04:23

Thanks everyone so much for your replies!! DS did take to my breast later in the evening - around midnight he woke for a feed and latched on immediately (though he was sleepy... i think I "tricked" him), then again throughout early hours of the morning and I haven't had a problem with him latching on since then. I did loads of skin to skin immediately and when he woke he wanted it. Maybe that did it...
tiktok i'm a teacher and cna't work up to those hours... but the good news is that in 2 days, I'm home for 2 weeks!
I do get to see him for a mid day feed usually, my best friend is looking after him - I could not ask for a better situation, really in terms of returning to work, but it's still hard
I'm considering the cup just in case this happens again, but at the same time I want feeding to be comfortable away from me as well (but not too comfortable ).
I'm hoping that he was just over tired or not hungry... who knows.
Thanks SO MUCH for all of your support.

OP posts:
Kristingle · 18/12/2008 20:52

great news! and happy holidays

MrsWalton · 18/12/2008 21:09

Aw Good. Keep cuddling!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread