Please help - my DD feeds continuously day and night, only stopping to sleep

[bean612]

She's only a week old so maybe I'm getting anxious too early, but at the moment I'm barely surviving on 1-2 hours' sleep a night and so tired I'm permanently shaky and keep hallucinating. She will cluster feed for hours, then sleep for two or three hours, but I'm so worried about when she'll wake up and want to start feeding again that I'm too wired to sleep myself, so even when she's asleep, I'm not. I feel as though she must never be getting enough food if she won't stop feeding. Would bottlefeeding her formula instead help? I know I "should" continue breastfeeding but also believe that her having a sane mummy is more important than hanging on to ideals. I've suffered from depression before and can feel it looming again now...

Have you managed to feed her while lying down on your side. You'll find this a GREAT help as she can fall asleep and so can you and she'll be snuggled in.

This is the closest image I can find of the position, I find it helps to have 2 pillows and put the underneath hand (the one she has under her head) under the pillow.

This WILL get better, my second is 11 weeks and so I DO know how you feel. I promise that the benefits of breast feeding for convenience are great.

We had something called a Snuggle Nest. It goes in your bed so they sleep with you but is more safe as it protects baby a little, then when we were ready we transfered this nest into the crib in our room. This way I got a break and my DS still thought he was close to me etc.

I expressed from 3 weeks as he had a hospital stay. It worked well. DH did the 10pm feed so I went to bed around 7 after BF then got to sleep until 1am ish so a good 6 hours sleep.

I have totally lost my appetite, which is very unlike me - normally I can eat for England, so DD obviously takes after me . But I will try to eat more to keep energy levels up. I'm also worried I'm starting to detach emotionally from her - there is no doubt that I love her but her presence is also starting to make me anxious (which she can probably sense), which is worrying me.

Oh yes earplugs great and SLEEP - don't worry you'll soon wake if your DD does!

Bean - sounds like the blues, they come around a week. First time round I was a ZOMBIE around that time.

Blues = chocolate cake. Chocolate cake makes even better breast milk - thats a medical fact off course.

You must eat well, and possibly try to drink the odd beer as well. Old fashioned MWs recommend Guinness or Mackesons. It gets your iron levels up a bit and relaxes you.

If you are not hungry, a good tempting 'invalid' meal for bf mothers is an omelette with brown bread and butter, or some soup with a cheese sandwich. Another option is home made banana milkshakes.

I wouldn't worry about feeling detached - again, this is utterly normal. It's because she is being very demanding of you. If you still feel detached after 6-12 weeks, then speak to your HV about it.

get your favourite foods. even if it is liquorice and jelly babies. you need to keep energy levels up.

Bananas full of tryptophan which help the blues, like turkey and brown bread and butter (I think).

I remember the sense of detachment quite well, coupled with a certain amount of fear. Very normal - she just seemed so alien. And I also was slightly wired for a couple of weeks post-birth - every time I tried to sleep my brain went into overdrive.

The newborn madness is just crazy - no-one can ever really prepare you for it. But I promise you it will pass and will become a foggy and slightly mellow memory in a few weeks. Just look after yourself. Don't do ANYTHING apart from rest.

I know it doesn't help you get through those first weeks but it is normal to have the feelings you are having. You are sleep deprived and your whole life has just changed around, its a big thing to deal with, cut yourself some slack, you are asking for help which is a great start
It does get better I promise you, I too had a rough start with dd with bf going from bad to worse, but I stopped bfing her when she was 13 months and was really sad! Something I never would have imagined...
As others have said the two saviours of my sanity were dp giving an expressed bottle at about 10-11pm so I got to bed really early and got sleep, and feeding lying down in bed so I could doze. I say doze as I found it hard to sleep properly, my dd moved an inch and I was wide awake again, but at least I was horizontal and under my duvet
Do the sling and chocolate cake thing, its good!!

If you don't want to express so soon. Go to bed early - 8 or 9 and have DH bring your DD to you for feeding when he's exhausted all other possibilities (sling, sucking his finger etc). Then you may be able to get some sleep before he comes to bed.

It's just survival parenting at this stage

These lasses are all speaking very good sense IMO!