How do you wean a 18 month old? Please give me your tips!

[preggersplayspop]

Hello, I have a 18 month old who I am still breastfeeding. I'm generally pretty happy with this, but I have recently been considering weaning him off the breast at some point in the near future. I don't think either of us are ready for it just yet but want to gear myself up for it when I eventually go for it.

I work 4 days as week so he is only bf morning and evening (and several times a night, he's not a good sleeper).

The thing is he really loves being breastfed (and is quite, embarrassingly at times, vocal in asking for it - BOOB!). I just can't see him self-weaning at any point in the future. So, I wondered what other people had done to wean their toddlers of about the same age.

He is breastfed to sleep generally, though he can get to sleep without it (although only for daytime naps so far and only if I am not there). At night he will breastfeed almost as a relaxation thing, until he is ready for sleep when he will turn over and nod off.

The main questions I have are:

Do you go cold turkey or can you do it gradually?
Do I need to start with the night weaning first?
What do other people do to wind down their hyper toddlers so they are relaxed enough in the evening to go to sleep??

Thanks in advance

Yes start with night weaning first. i did it at an earlier stage about one year of age, and sent DH in when DD woke and he would sit with her until she fell back to sleep - she was quite angry I have to admit but it lasted only two nights then she slept through and still does a year later.

I had more daytime feeds to cut out as I'm a SAHM. Morning feed was quite easy as just changed routine, so not brought to our bed for a feed. DH would often go to her plus we take her a snack and we tried offering cows milk but she hates the stuff. We still do the snack. Complained for a week but then forgot.

Dropped the night time feed first but I wasn't feeding to sleep. I would stop feeding to sleep first - feed then read a story. I leave a beaker of water in her bed for her as well which she drinks before and after sleep. Strong and new bedtime routine seemed to work for us. I got DH to put her to sleep two nights in a row with no milk as I had such bad morning sickness and by night 3 she had "forgotten" and never asked and hasn't asked since three months later.

I was very consistent and did not give in but I did it slowly over a 3 month period. I was highly incentivised though as I couldn't stay pregnant and thought the frequent feeding was contributing to this. Once I was down to just one feed I got and stayed pregnant.

Good luck, there are tears but they forget so quickly. By doing it gradually and probably because I was pregnant I had no engorgement etc... also I found it emotionally not as painful as I thought it would be.

don't offer, don't refuse-best advice I ever had!

Thanks so much for this Tapster. It sounds like I need to rope my DH in to help in the process and develop a bit of a plan. My DS has recently started taking a liking for cows milk, and will ask for it at times so hopefully he will see this as an ok substitute eventually.

I have a night out with work coming up which will be the first time he is put to sleep without me so this will also be a bit of a landmark for us! I'm hoping he won't still be screaming when I get home...

Hi nicewarmslippers, I tried not offering and not refusing and this has reduced the feeds down definitely, and I can generally distract him if he wants a feed outside of our 'normal' times now. But he's definitely very very attached to the nighttime and bedtime feeding and the cries for BOOB BOOB BOOB get louder and louder until I cave in as I am worried what the neighbours must think!!

He co-sleeps with us, am wondering whether to get myself into the spare bedroom for a few nights and let DH deal with him when he wakes.

Hi! So glad you posted this - was about to start similar thread. i have searched the archives and can't seem to find any advice.

I have a 15 month ds who loves bf'ing. I love it too but would like him to sleep through now - and also I want to go out in the evenings just occasionally and leave him with dh/parents!

He feeds morning, night and pre lunchtime nap, and twice a night (zzzzz). Currently I'm trying to cut out the night feeds by reducing by a minute each night, and then just turning over so he goes to sleep next to me. When he's fast asleep I put him back into his cot - right next to me. We are down to 5 mins twice a night now, much better than 20 mins.

I have similar questions:

He bf's in the evening and pre nap to get sleepy and relaxed - although he will fall asleep by himself. how on earth do I get him into that "i'm ready to go to sleep" state without feeding. He will take a sippy cup in the day - but not before bed.

preggers - we also going out for the first time on the 20th and leaving him to go to sleep with my paretns - am pretty sure he will scream the place down - mum mum mum mum...

good luck and I will watch this carefully- keep us posted!

Hi luvaduck, I'll keep you posted!

He's had a busy day today and recently when I have been trying to distract him from additional daytime feeds I've told him that boob was only for bedtime. He actually told me he was tired this evening and asked to go 'bed-i-byes' (then asked for 'boob' quickly after....) Looks like I may have strengthened the feeding to sleep association by accident, oops. Anyway, he did feed into the sleepy/comatose state then pushed me away and we listed to stories and I sang while he dropped off.

On a previous thread someone had recommended Jay Gordon for advice on cutting out nighttime feeds but I haven't really yet 'gone for it' as I didn't want to do it at the same time as teething, but I will try it at some point. Its the initial bedtime winding down to 'ready to sleep' issue that seems more tricky to me though as well. I think with a bit of effort I could cut out the nighttime feeds as he doesn't really wake up properly for them.

I did discuss nighttime weaning with DH earlier though, and he has agreed that we would tackle it together when we are both on holiday after Christmas. So, that's progress!