How to avoid the BF problems I had last time?? Sorry, long.

[TheInvisibleHand]

I did successfully manage to BF DD. But we had quite a stressful time getting there. DC2 due in 3 weeks and I am trying to work out how to avoid the same kind of problems.

Tried BF DD from the beginning. She didn't feed brilliantly, but no pain for me, and I thought we were muddling through. After about 4 days back home, she got weighed, had lost 20% of her body weight and we rushed off to hospital. She was basically seriously ill in kidney failure and they were on the point of sending her off for dialysis. She ended up spending a week in hospital, to get her kidneys working again and to establish BF properly.

Other than the tube feeding she had in hospital she never actually had top ups and just figured out the breast. To this day, I have no idea what we did differently, she just got it. (Although I do have pretty flat nipples so maybe that's what made it hard).

When I went back to work (DD was around 5 months), despite us trying everything (and I mean more or less everything) DD refused to have any milk other than breast milk, so she would fast while I was at work and then feed either end of the day. She self weaned at 9 months and has never had milk since. (In fact, she is dairy allergic, but never got into drinking soya formula etc unless its in her food).

Now, its all worked out OK, but was incredibly stressful at the time. And I know DC2 could be very different from DD. But I was just wondering if there was any mumsnet wisdom to help me get things on the right track from the beginning this time???

I'm surprised they weighed her only four days after birth as I thought it was normal for babies to lose weight in the first few days and that doesn't give her much time to gain it back again. I've also heard that bfing can be easier with flat nipples because it means your baby needs to take more of the breast in rather than just sucking your nipple. It sounds as though you did amazingly in the circumstances No real help I'm afraid, just bumping in the hopes of someone wiser being able to help.

Invisible, 20 per cent weight loss is massive, and it's not surprising your dd was so poorly

Not feeding well in the first few days is something that cant be ignored...some babies are fine and bounce back quickly, but others can become seriously ill, like your dd.

Get someone to check feeding is effective in those important first few days....don't let 'not brilliant feeding' drift. Skin to skin will help

All I would say is try not to worry too much about it now or when the baby is born. If you have problems you will presumably know when to ask for help -maybe you could make sure you know all the contact nos, times of b/f support groups etc

IME (first baby was difficult to b/f, second took to it really well) all babies are different so you don't quite know what will happen.

Good luck!

Call the NCT, or La Leche league or ABM or wherever NOW and try to find local support. Ask your mw what local BF support is provided by the NHS, Make sure that in your birth preferences you have it stated that you want good BF support to help you get established.

I am a BF Peer Support volunteer at my local hospital. Does your area have something like this?

Oh, SantaKlaws post reminded me -if you have a hospital birth don't let them chuck you out too soon if you want to make sure you get the b/f established first (although I appreciate not everyone wants to stay in for longer than they have to!)

With my second I could have gone home within 8 hours but I asked to stay in for a further 24hrs to get the help and support. After having problems the first time I wanted to avoid it the second time and saw this as the best option.

Thanks for the supportive messages! I guess what worries me is that last time I didn't twig that something was wrong until it way too late. I am assuming I will be a bit more switched on this time, but somehow it was really hard to tell. I'll certainly be more insistent about weighing last time (part of the reason for the delay in picking up the problem was giving bith around a bank holiday - this time round I am due over the Xmas season...)

I did have a couple of days post birth (had emergency section) at the hospital and did get advice from various midwives, LLL advisors etc who were working the wards. The thing is DD did latch for a bit, its just that she obviously found it hard work to keep up. But they discharged us on the basis DD was feeding OK. The hospital does have (a mildly elusive) BF counsellor. Will try and get to see her, didn't manage it last time!

A baby who has been an active participant in a labour usually has a good feed after birth and can then sleep for a good long while as it is well tired! and then wakes up and feeds more regular.

If you add to the mix drugs and epidurals, then baby can be quite drowsy after birth and not interested in feeding.

If you add forceps/ventouse to the mix then baby might well have a sore head and so is not very interested in feeding and certainly won't like to have it's head held much, so lying in bed to feed and considering cranial osteopathy might be suggested.

If you have a CS then baby has not had the birth canal journey and so might have a bit more mucous to deal with. Being bunged up with mucous makes them feel too full to feed. They kinda need to puke up the mucous to then be able to feed, and many don't puke it all up at once so it can take a wee while.

Jack Newman has some great videos you could watch but I'd recommend that you give yourself the benefit of the doubt and know that there can be many reasons why baby might have difficulty feeding at first, but with support and patience you should hopefully get there.

So as I said earlier make sure that it's in your birth preferences that you NEED to see the BF counsellor. Perhaps you should call the hospital and ask to speak to her NOW so that she is aware of your concerns and can be notified once you've given birth.

Klaws - DD's section was down to her being in distress due to cord being twisted round both her neck and foot. Not surprising she wasn't a keen feeder in those circumstances. I am trying for a VBAC this time, but you never know. Thank you for the kick up the backside to try and make sure I access the services I need now. You are right. I had an antenatal check this morning and local NHS provision is pretty poor - nothing to speak of in my PCT (Barnet) and only one part time BF counsellor at my hospital, who I know from experience is difficult to get hold of. I do already have the number of the local NCT BF contact - I will give her a call and see what can be teed up in advance.

Oh and Klaw, just had a look at the Jack Newman site - not seen it before and it looks really really helpful.

You're more than welcome

I was in contact with another MNer today offline and I got an inordinate (sp) amount of pleasure from being able to help