3 and half month - difficult feeding - cry when on the breasts? - help

Abbey123 · 2008-12-04T20:13:35+00:00

Hi all, my 3 and half month old dd started breast refusal when she turned 3 months old, she sometimes has a few sucks, then comes off looks around or talks to me (woo and aaa), sometimes, she just cries really badly, face turns red and I know she is hungry as she hasn't beed fed for 5 hours! I wonder if she is too tired to feed? But she seems to be alright for the night feeds, although she wakes up every 2-3 hours from 3 months old. I am 100% breast feeding and it has been really difficult 4 me to stick at it, I am suffering from bad back and I had mastitis twice on the same breast, lump is still there, don't know what to do........... Can someone with some experience help??????? will this breast refusal ever stop? Have the lump check with GP, they said its difficult to examine breastfeeding mom, come back when we done the feeding.

mothersmilk · 04/12/2008 20:32

hi there,
have you tried offering the breast when she's calm and content rather than when she's obviously hungry and asking for it? my ds does the same thing more of the crying and getting himself too worked up to feed rather than cooing i have a baby who just generally crys alot he feeds well at night like yours and i think its because he's obviously much more relaxed so i tried just feeding him when i felt he was calm enough to concentrate on what he was doing and it seems to have worked he feeds much better and its more enjoyablre for both and the last couple of nights he's only woken a few times he will still refuse the odd one tho but i put it down to lack of hunger hope that helps a bit.
if feeding improves its possible that the lump will go let me know how it works out for you, as far as when it stops i havnt a clue my bf dd was a dream so this was new for me to

Original poster

Abbey123 · 04/12/2008 21:00

Mothersmilk, thanks for the message. I always put her on the breasts when she is calm and content, I just look at the clock and think she is due to the feed now, but she screams when I do that. she only started doing this when she was around 3 months old. Docs think she got colic, but the docs use colic when they can't explain things. why would my baby suddenly starts being colic?

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mothersmilk · 04/12/2008 21:57

i dont know a bout colic both mine had it my dd fed constantly i say fed what i mean is comforted to calm herself wich was easy peesy my ds 3months now was the total opposite didnt want to feed or comfort at all i ended up just having to put up with the crying and comfort him as best i could how many feeds is she sucesfully taking during the day? and what is her weight gain like at the mo? if you think she may be too tired to feed is it possible your mistakin a fighting tiredness cry for hungry cry? im not trying to make out you dont know what your baby wants just trying to help my ds really fights sleep and when he crys because of it it does sound quite distressing i know i mixed the two up for the first month or so was trying desperatly to feed him instead of maddly rocking him to sleep. anyway like i was going to say if the weight gain is fine i'd be inclined to say dont worry too much keep calm listen to what she tells you and go with it 3-4 months can be a funny time for babies im a great believer in mothers instinct you know your baby best

mothersmilk · 04/12/2008 21:57

i dont know a bout colic both mine had it my dd fed constantly i say fed what i mean is comforted to calm herself wich was easy peesy my ds 3months now was the total opposite didnt want to feed or comfort at all i ended up just having to put up with the crying and comfort him as best i could how many feeds is she sucesfully taking during the day? and what is her weight gain like at the mo? if you think she may be too tired to feed is it possible your mistakin a fighting tiredness cry for hungry cry? im not trying to make out you dont know what your baby wants just trying to help my ds really fights sleep and when he crys because of it it does sound quite distressing i know i mixed the two up for the first month or so was trying desperatly to feed him instead of maddly rocking him to sleep. anyway like i was going to say if the weight gain is fine i'd be inclined to say dont worry too much keep calm listen to what she tells you and go with it 3-4 months can be a funny time for babies im a great believer in mothers instinct you know your baby best

SweetBasil · 05/12/2008 12:38

Abbey, my boy is a refuser and it's really rough, so I feel for you. He's now 6 and a half months and started refusing from 9 weeks, but there are medical reasons for his refusal - reflux and a dairy allergy.

I worked around the refusal by feeding him when he's sleepy - usually when he wakes up, but sometimes when he falls asleep. Night times work best - at night you wouldn't know that there was a problem. If I miss the moment and he's no longer sleepy, I give him ebm.

Nursing strikes are fairly common from what I've heard, and most of them only last a short while. I don't know anyone else who's had four months of it so take heart.

laundrylover · 05/12/2008 13:00

Anything to help here?

kellymom

laundrylover · 05/12/2008 13:04

Anything to help here?

kellymom

laundrylover · 05/12/2008 13:05

oops!

NoPresentsInVictorianSqualor · 05/12/2008 13:37

First thing you need checking is attachment.
How do you latch her?
Can you get to a babycafe or breastfeeding clinic to get your latch checked?

clairemagnolia · 05/12/2008 14:48

Also, to reassure yourself she's getting plenty of milk when she does feed, keep track of the wet and dirty nappies - 4-6 wet nappies and one BM a day or every other day would be within the realms of normal for a three month old I think.

It's great that she's feeding well at night. IAnd don't worry it's normal for a baby this age to need to feed several times at night, even if they're feeding loads during the day...

Original poster

Abbey123 · 05/12/2008 14:57

thanks a lot, i also found nursing her when she i sleepy helpful. laundrylover, the link is brilliant! hope she will be back on the breasts soon...

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Original poster

Abbey123 · 05/12/2008 15:54

I had a breasfeeding worker came in 2 month ago, the latch should be fine, she does have at least 6 wet nappies and one dirty nappy a day.weight gain is not great, but its okay. I think she is probably going through this breast refusal as described on kellymom. I wonder how long does this last? its a real pain when you are home alone trying to look after a baby, cook for yourself to get good milk supply and also have express the milk all the time......

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NoPresentsInVictorianSqualor · 05/12/2008 17:03

It is possible that her latch has changed so just be extra careful when latching her.
Have you considered thrush? Is there any pain anywhere?

MamaHobgoblin · 05/12/2008 17:09

Mine did this until about 4 months. It baffled me and our friendly local BF counsellor, but I wonder now if he was just being impatient for the let-down, which takes a couple of minutes?

Original poster

Abbey123 · 05/12/2008 17:35

mamahobgoblin, I sometimes wonder that, if she is just impatient for the let down, or the let down is too fast, she got too much in her mouth that she cant swollow..... She didn't mind for the first 3month, it just happened all of sudden.

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Original poster

Abbey123 · 05/12/2008 17:40

Nopresents... I am getting a swap done myself next week, my girl did have yeast infection on her tongue, still a bit white, but doc said it should be fine now. Do I need to take her in to check thrush on her? is it possible that she got something?

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Original poster

Abbey123 · 05/12/2008 17:42

sorry, i meant she did have yeast infection before, although her tongue is still white, doc said its fine now and that shouldn't hurt anymore.

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AbricotsSecs · 05/12/2008 18:04

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Defeatedbypoppers · 05/12/2008 18:54

Hi there, at 3 months my dd (now 6 mo) suddenly started crying and arching away when I tried to feed her. It was so frustrating, I know how you feel! I had had quite a good feeding routine going but in the end I more or less abandoned that and fed on demand, I'd offer the breast at the usual times but not worry if she refused or only took a little bit. I also found it helped to lie down to feed (think I read that tip on MN). A bf counsellor suggested feeding in the bath but I didn't find that really worked - too slippery!

I tried eliminating dairy for a week, don't think it made any difference. Definitely wouldn't hurt to try it but when I asked GP he said to eat dairy as usual since babies need the nutrients and dairy intolerance in babies is pretty unusual. He also said it quite often happens that babies go a bit "uncoordinated" in their feeding at around 3-4 months and that it tends to resolve itself in time. And sure enough after 6 weeks of boxing on dd went back to usual intake and routine. One factor was that dd is a big baby (91st centile) and her rate of gain didn't change when she wasn't eating much. So I wasn't too worried although it was all quite disruptive.

Good luck, I've found exclusive bf quite tough going so I sympathise!

Original poster

Abbey123 · 05/12/2008 19:10

Defeatedbypoppers, thansk a lot for the above, I do most of feeding in bed now, lying down with her, she seems to like that more than other positions. but latching is a bit of struggle sometime. She has been doing this for 3 weeks now, hope she can grow out of it like you dd.

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LilMatchGirlInVictorianSqualor · 05/12/2008 19:10

(Nopresents ehre)
Yes, very possible. The description you've given is exactly how DS was when he had thrush.
He would want to feed but it would hurt him to latch so he'd pull straight off and cry.
I'd get yourselves both off to the docs and tell them you think it's possibly thrush.
Take this with you.

popsycal · 05/12/2008 19:16

thrush
cant shifts ds3'sz thrush but it doesnt seem to bother him anymore

gp has us on repeat prescription to just get it when we need it

hth

try feeding in bath
another suggestion - and i dont mean to sound cheeky - a friend of mine has quite a large chest
she found changing position when feeding so that the weight of her breast wasnt fully on her baby's sore tongue really helped

if impatient for let down, i find that gently but firmly squeezing your breast for the first 30 seconds helps

AbricotsSecs · 05/12/2008 19:24

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AbricotsSecs · 05/12/2008 19:25

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Original poster

Abbey123 · 05/12/2008 20:40

OH MY GOD! Its thrush! I read the link, I do have the shooting pain in my breasts, and my areolas have lost the original dark color, they are very pale at the mo. My dd has all the signs they listed there! but last week, I went to see the doc who gave us Daktarin oral gel and clotrimazole cream about a month and half ago, just to see if its the yeast infection is causing her pain when feeding, but she said my dd's mouth looks fine and she is crying not feed due to colic. She is the second gp I saw that week! Got to see a different one on Monday, or even see one at walk-in centre. Coz I want to get myself treated as well, last time, they only gave me cream to treat dd. Do I use any of those two creams on my nipples?

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