Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

Original poster

breastfeeding problems - is it time to throw in towel?

12 replies

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 04/12/2008 11:29

after a shaky start, many attempts to increase supply, ds (12 wks) losing lots of weight and not regaining it, dropping off the centiles etc, i'm mix feeding him. giving 4 bottles a day which i know will bugger up my supply but it's too late for that so please don't suggest reducing formula. he put on 1.5lbs in 3.5 weeks (good) on the new regime (4 mix feeds and 2 breast feeds) but it's got really hard. the early morning feed (4-5am) is a nightmare most days, he feeds for ages which is fine but for some reason the lying down latch has gone wrong and it's really painful, esp on the right side which carries on into the day feeds.
he also hates the left side and it's usually a struggle to get him on. even when he's clearly hungry he won't feed from me for long or well and i'm worried i just don't have enough milk. i'm not enjoying it and i feel like i have the worst of both worlds.

OP posts:

Bettymum · 04/12/2008 11:44

You poor thing, it sounds horrid.
I really struggled for the first three months, my right boob didn't seem to have much in it and what there was was v hard to get out as that nipple was really tiny (TMI???) and hard for DD to latch on to, so I had a massive left boob as I put her on that one most of the time. I seriously thought that I had permanent nerve damage from all the chomping, I was in pain all the time.
BUT...we persevered through the tears and the toecurling pain and we are still going at 10 1/2 months, and it is lovely. As she's got bigger she's got much better at feeding (just doing bedtime and first thing in the morning now). I would try and stick at it, you just don't know what's round the corner. Our hospital in Reading has a great breastfeeding clinic, can you contact your local hospital for help? It was really great to actually be helped by someone who can see what you're trying to do, it sounds like you might need to change your feeding position - do you have a horseshoe cushion? I got one from Mothercare and it is great, it really helped get DD comfy and in the right place. It is probably also worth contacting your health visitor for help.
Best of luck to you and DS xxx

alittlebitshy · 04/12/2008 11:55

i've been following your story and i think you've done so well.
No anwers but want to bump this for you so you know it's been read.

Original poster

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 04/12/2008 14:25

thank you. betty you sound similar - i have tiny nips but big areolas so it seems harder to get it in his mouth! my right boob is also massive compared to the left. i have reflected and i think i'll see how his weight is tomo, if he has gained ok then i know it's working and it's just a rough patch. if not, i'll think about increasing bottles and maybe letting bf end naturally - when my milk stops/ds stops wanting it.

litt;lebitshy - thank you for your kind words

xxx

OP posts:

mum2fred · 04/12/2008 16:26

theres a lot of stigma attached to bfing and guilt when you give it up. i have opinions on what I think is right, but they are just that: mine. Bfing is not easy and you have done so well to get through these 12 weeks (i had similar story with one of my boys)so well done to you!

the MAIN thing is happy healthy baby and happy healthy mum. boob or bottle? doesnt matter. should you choose to throw in hte towel now, you are not letting anyone down you have done amazingly.

good luck!

FenLondon · 04/12/2008 21:05

You've done 12 weeks - that's 12 weeks of benefit whatever you do next! The way I'm thinking now that I approach the end of my time BFing is that it's time for me to work on feeding my dd's brain - not just her body. Formula may not be as "perfect" as breast milk, but it'll do the trick - ain't no substitute for a well tempered mum stimulating that little mind.

charmargot · 04/12/2008 21:18

Good luck whatever you do, but don't let the weight guides make your decision for you. You may as well flip a coin. Your milk will stop when you decide to stop. (I couldn't face having to get out of bed to sort a bottle at night, maybe ask a midwife to help get the laying down latch sorted again - I also think boob is great for when they're a bit ill which happens a lot in winter)
My little girl went way off the centiles after a few months and so my Mum just asked me was she healthy, happy alert and moving well. The answer was yes so she just said stop getting her weighed then! I did, she's pretty small for her age but very bright happy and clever. Someone has to be small when others are big to make the average average!

dasiychain · 04/12/2008 21:52

My boy was born 4lb 14 and the hospital told me that I had to bottle feed him but said no way. I breastfeed him it was hard so welldone to you for doing it for 12 weeks you have given him the best start.My son gained weight slowly but less then the graph said he should so I did the same as 'charmargot' above I asked my self if he was happy, alert, moving and healthy... he was so I stopped taking him to weigh in's and only took him to be weighted if I wanted to know his weight for my self
then after that I stopped worrying.

My aunty asked me this at the time:
Is it better to have a small happy healthy baby and less stressed mum then... a stressed baby and mum that finds that she does not have the choose to breastfeed if she want to cus she to stressed.

He is 18 months and 2 stone happy and healthy.
Good luck and well done

kathryn2804 · 06/12/2008 00:01

Weighing is a complete waste of time!! If you keep latching your baby on, you will keep producing milk, it doesn't run out unless you stop feeding completely, and even then it can take months to run out completely. Even one feed a day gives baby so much immunity, I would try to keep going if you can. Get someone to check that latch.

By the way, it's never too late to drop formula top-ups, the more you latch, the more milk you make. Not saying you should do that, but just thought I'd state the facts.

mummy2isla · 06/12/2008 20:07

Weeelll I don't know .. I think it is best to keep on weighing. I had a massive struggle with breast feeding, I was desparate to do it. My little girl would not latch on from the very beginning, a midwife I can only describe as stupid recommended trying using nipple shields to get her to latch on - I then had 7 weeks when she would only feed using the shield. During this time she put on one oz and I stopped weighing her due to advice that I was getting hung up on the weight. In the end I was feeding her for an hour on each side, for a total of about 12 hours a day. It was hell. My breasts never really emptied and she was constantly hungry. In the end I weighed her at 8 weeks and was horrified to find she was under her birth weight. Since then I have bottle-fed - I cried for ages at first as I had been so keen on breast-feeding - but what I can tell you is that she is now 6 months old and bottle fed and she is absolutely fine, so although bfing is obviously the best thing for your baby, and it is also a lovely and natural thing to do - if it's not working for god's sake don't beat yourself up about it like I did - I nearly had a nervous breakdown about it! As long as you and your baby are happy and well, that's the main thing. Good luck! xx

BabiesEverywhere · 07/12/2008 10:01

As you already know introducing so many bottles of formula, will "bugger up your supply". You are stretching the time between the two breastfeeds so far that it is highly likely that your milk supply will/has dropped and this may explain your son's reaction to the breastfeeding.

I don't remember your history and how you tried to increase your supply in the past but it sounds like you have had a very difficult time feeding your son

I really feel for you but you need to know that continuing with 4 bottles of formula and only 2 breastfeeds in a 24 hour period. You are very likely to end up 100% formula feeds, which of course may or may not be a problem depending on how you feel about this.

If you wish to try and keep some breastfeeding in your son's diet and want to get some help working on your latch and/or increasing your milk supply. You could ring one of the help lines on Hunkers Blog or try and see a local breast feeding support group.

Original poster

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 07/12/2008 10:18

i didn't mean only 2 bfs - 4 mix feeds (bf then bottle) and 2 just bfs, in bed.

OP posts:

TheTwelveDAISYOfChristmas · 07/12/2008 10:31

kat, I echo the advice of others to get your latch checked out. I would also look for signs of thrush on your nipples or in your DSs mouth as this can cause really sore nipples.

Sounds like you have had a horrible time of it, so well done for persevering this long. It's not too late to decrease the amount of formula and get your supply increased but I think you need the advice/support of a qualified breastfeeding counsellor if you haven't done this already.

Re upping your supply, the best way of doing this is feeding as much as possible. Can you have a few days in bed having a babymoon; lots of skin to skin and allowing baby to BF as much as possible?

I got a free sample of Weleda's Nursing tea the other day and I've only had a few cups but it seems to have made a difference to my supply already. I'm not sure if it's available off the shelf in the UK but you can get it online. It might be worth a try?

whatever you end up doing, you should congratulate yourself for giving your DS the best possible start in life, however, can I just say that when I was first feeding my DD, it took about 16 weeks before I could say that BFing was going well and that we were both ejoying the experience. I'm 5 weeks in with DS and it is having it's own challenges, but I'm keeping going as I know it can get better.

Flip