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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

How am I going to do this?

49 replies

turtledove23 · 04/12/2008 06:57

DS is 8 months and we are still BF despite him biting every time he's teething. He has had 4 teeth one after another in the last 5 weeks and I am exhausted from being up all night as a dummy and from the biting. Every time he stops biting we have a few days and then we're off again. He has another tooth coming through (number 7, ffs) and I just can't face it again. He won't take a bottle(just bites and pulls them as he does if you give him a dummy) chews beakers, and will take a tiny bit out of a cup, but it is a messy business and takes about an hour to get an ounce in. What do I do?

OP posts:

Umlellala · 06/12/2008 18:48

Yes, I can see that. It was more the idea that crying wouldn't harm him - well, no, but it wouldn't be very nice (OR very relaxing for OP). Personally I can't relax when my dc are upset, my dc kinda come before me (rightly or wrongly, it's just how I feel) - so someone else taking them for a bit if they weren't able to calm/reassure them wouldn't help me as I'd just lie there feeling terrible. Someone making me tea and feeding me and doing some housework would help though . Though my dc (2.6 and 4mths) haven't so far had too many long episodes of crying - so I can't say if I wouldn't want some respite if thatwas the case.

Original poster

turtledove23 · 06/12/2008 21:04

After 24 hours of respite, the biting is back and then some. He has bitten my neck, my cheek, drawn blood on my nipple. The tooth is 98% through, am praying that it materialises by morning. This is just rotten.

OP posts:

Umlellala · 06/12/2008 21:21

Ewe · 06/12/2008 21:28

Sorry you are still going through this turtle, it'll be good karma in the end thought I am sure, he will be a dream teenager!

Have you tried Orajel? Seriously, it is amazing. I accidentally put some on my lip the other day and it was totally numb. Might be worth a try!

Has DH been taking the pressure off now you he is back?

littleducks · 06/12/2008 22:07

frozen bananas?
dd had ice for a while, like ice cube ice, hv said fine if supervised
if i remember anything else will repost
ds has no teeth so have to do this all again v. soon!

honestly turtle dont feel you have nobody to talk to, i would say lets meet up/come over but i dont sippose you need the chicken pox on top of everything else you have has

neenztwinz · 07/12/2008 09:16

Oh Turtledove . I really don't know what to suggest. My DD bit me twice yesterday and it hurt and she doesn't even have any teeth yet.

Umlellala, a lot of mums feel like they HAVE to be there when their LO is crying. But they don't. The LO will survive a few hours of crying without its mother. It is better for the mother to get rest if she is exhausted. I was kind of just saying it so the OP had 'permission' if you like (for want of a better word) - she might have been thinking she wanted to do that but thought it was wrong.

Umlellala · 07/12/2008 09:26

Yes, that's fine if someone else can calm or reassure them. Gawd knows I am much more able to hand (NSC) ds over to other people with a 'oh he'll be fine.' BUT for me, personally, I couldn't relax/sleep/whatever if I knew that my dc was upset and needed me. They are our children after all. So yes, of course, it is not wrong for someone else to give the comfort - and IMO babies are usually happy if they are being entertained/rocked/cuddled etc. BUT sometimes they do need their mum (or dad) or a bf and it is also not wrong if you just feel your baby needs YOU.

My dc have never had a 'few hours of crying' with or without me . Am I just lucky?

Umlellala · 07/12/2008 09:28

Or do you mean unhappy for a few hours, eg 10mins and then calm, but grizzly again really soon? I've had that, of course. But 20 mins of crying and I am getting ready to call NHS Direct

neenztwinz · 07/12/2008 09:54

LOL Umlellala - well when my DTs were newborns they would cry every night from 11pm till 1am - they were fully BF and I suspect they were hungry. They needed me but during those hours I slept - cos they also used to cry from 1am till 3am and I couldn't do 11pm all the way till 3am without any sleep. So DH used to rock them/use dummies etc while I slept then I took over.

Personally it has never bothered me when they cry - that's what babies do . I don't remember anything from my first two years of life and I suspect they won't either so yes I do believe that a baby who cries for long periods is not harmed by it. I know others disagree but there you go.

Original poster

turtledove23 · 07/12/2008 09:54

DS is perfectly fine if he is with me. He is unhappy and tearful without me when teething, but fine otherwise.. Have left him with DH but he just doesn't settle well and DH doesn't like to take him for very long. The issue really is with the biting and the not taking a bottle. He has chipped his front tooth this morning biting furiously on something. It's getting beyond a joke.

OP posts:

Umlellala · 07/12/2008 10:47

Oh turtle, have you taken him to the GP to see if they can prescribe anything? He sounds in furious pain. My ds won't take a bottle (or a dummy either) .

Twins, hey, I am sure would have to be 'left to cry' occasionally - hats off to you! But babies are still people and cry as a form of communication, it is the first way they are talking to you so by responding (even if it is 'be there in a minute') you are encouraging talking/listening and trust. It is not about what they 'remember' but about the parenting relationship you will foster as they grow. IMO it is attachment that begins to be affected or 'harmed' if they are left for long periods to cry. So they become more 'detached'. Of course, people grow up fine with all sorts of trauma and family issues ("they f*ck you up your mum and dad...") but for me, (and as a teacher of excluded and challenging children, having seen some very 'detached' and emotionally affected children - obviously not purely being left to cry at bedtime, but as symptom of having needs ignored regularly), attachment/bonding is THE most important and first gift I want to give my child. Boundaries and discipline, etc come out of that. You may feel differently.

Sorry for slight hijack.

HolidaysQueen · 07/12/2008 11:12

turtle - is it that P refuses to drink from anything, or just that he only sips so takes milk very slowly?

my friend is starting to wean her DS who refuses bottles and most cups. she bought him a 'special' sippy cup that has pictures of animals on and talks to him about the animals etc. she also gives him that feed while they play in the afternoon as he drinks very slowly - sips, plays, sips, plays etc. it probably takes an hour to get a decent amount of milk inside him, but he will drink it. and at least they are having fun play time at the same time. she also used to give him a couple of rice cakes before to get him thirsty! it's hard work, but he is getting better at drinking.

i sympathise on biting - my DS bites my shoulder a lots fortunately he isn't teething at P's rate, so biting when is is feeding is less often.

neenztwinz · 07/12/2008 14:15

Yes it's difficult to leave him if he is not crying with you but does cry when with others - I thought he was crying all the time which made me suggest 'someone else take him' cos if he is going to cry anyway... I still would send him to someone else tho and get some sleep but that's just me .

I agree GP might be able to give you something. I would also recommend Medised but I think you have already said it doesn't work.

Umlellala (yes sorry for hijack Turtle), it is interesting what you say and I am having a similar discussion on behaviour/development board about CC. I don't agree that leaving a baby who is otherwise well cared for to cry for short periods (even hours) causes long-term damage. But that is just different opinions and neither of us can be proved right/wrong, it is just different perceptions.

Yes, with twins you get used to the sound of crying! I suppose I feel this way cos my twins have cried a lot in their short lives (I only have one pair of hands) and I can't believe that God would give me twins if the crying was damaging.

fitnfortyone · 07/12/2008 14:15

just to add {{{hugs}}} as beyond the small limits of my experience

Umlellala · 07/12/2008 15:16

Ah, but twins have each other too!

Original poster

turtledove23 · 07/12/2008 15:27

wont drink from anything else. With cup it goes in then comes out again. With a bottle it just gets chewed. Beaker gets chewed and he doesn't get it that you have to suck it. He hasn't eaten a meal (solid) for three days. He just wants to bite. As I am typing (he's playing on floor) he has tried to bite my toe three times. (Mustadd he's having a lovely time with toys, is not being MN neglected!)

OP posts:

JFly · 08/12/2008 17:49

I can vouch for little Jaws - he bit my foot, too!

G is so miserable with teething, too, and doesn't eat, wants to BF constantly, etc. Thankfully he doesn't bit very often but I do sympathise with how much it hurts.

Does he chew the Tommee Tipee free flow cup? I know how messy it can be, but if you gave it to him for a just a few minutes at a time but frequently then maybe he would get the hang of it and be more efficient.

Incidentally, have you tried an amber teething necklace? I don't have one, but am thinking about getting one. Have a few friends that have them and haven't had issues with teething. Who knows if it works, but worth a try??

fitnfestiveone · 08/12/2008 19:32

Jfly I used the teething necklace from 12wks on LO, didn't think it was having much effect until we left it off accidentally and he got very mardy very quickly. Have had to stop using it now as he was actually shoving it too far into his mouth and was worried the beads would break off, have resorted to Ashton & Parsons on its own.

Original poster

turtledove23 · 08/12/2008 20:15

Jfly, had forgotten that he'd bitten you as well.
He bites every cup. Funnily enough bought him the TT one today and he did drink a tiny bit of water before insisting on turning it upside down to bite it. Will try milk tomorrow. Have a bleeding bruise on my cheek today. He's just so bloody quick!
Amber necklace...no, haven't tried it because he breaks things and just have visions of him choking. Someone suggested hazelwood necklace a while back too...do we all think they're safe on demented high energy boys?

OP posts:

littleducks · 08/12/2008 22:24

can i have an idiots guide to teething necklaces, best place (cheap but safe and effective) to buy from and how to use (when sleeping? when in pushcair? under clothes?) all with links for my poor exhausted brain to act upon without thought

Original poster

turtledove23 · 09/12/2008 07:00

Please reassure me that this is progress...DS took 20 ml out of a beaker this morning. It's a ridiculously small amount, but at least it is something.

OP posts:

fitnfestiveone · 09/12/2008 07:24

It is progress Turtle, mine takes hardly anything from a beaker - have more success with a doidy cup (goes everywhere though) or china type cup, the sucking action seems to be a lot harder for them to get the hang of than normal teats (or boobs in your case!).

Jfly, I got the teething necklace on ebay - you can get them in catelogues, think maybe Perfectly happy Baby but can't remember. I think they're supposed to react with light to give an analgesic (sp?) effect rather than actually be chewed, but LO seemed to find it more fun to slip it over his bottom tooth and bite down on it till we took it away from him!

HolidaysQueen · 09/12/2008 09:30

turtle - 20ml is perfectly normal. You may remember my recent panic about how little water DS was taking - I cheer if he takes an ounce in a whole day!

Also my DS won't take spouts or bottles, or anything except breast in fact, when teething - this may be the case for P, so his constant teething means it is difficult to get something in him at the moment. If that is the case, the good news for you is that there is only a finite number of teeth a baby can sprout

JFly · 09/12/2008 21:06

Think this is where my friend got her amber necklace. My Euro friends got their's from their Euro rellies, so may be common there.

I was told to make sure the beads are individually knotted so that should it break, the beads don't scatter or end up in their mouths. The necklaces I've seen are very short, so it's difficult for LO to get a purchase on it. There's no guarantee that they can't break it, I guess, but they are supposed to be safe for this age.

Hopefully once it's on he won't remember it's there. But Turtle, your boy is very determined!

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