Has formula- and breast- feeding different babies made you feel differently towards them at the time?

[Buckets]

Basically I really resent this extra bonding that BF has caused! I don't like to say 'bond' because that's usually got positive connotations, although technically it's neutral.

I FF'd my first two and have just started mix-feeding my third(16wks.) I have found myself much more clingy with this one which I know biologically is a good thing but is driving me mad. I feel more tied to this one but was happier I think with the freedom that I had with the other two. I'm not just talking about farming them out or BFing in public - despite BFing this one successfully I feel kind of inhibited, it makes me feel more anxious about everything. I guess this is that overwhelmed feeling that first time mums get, never had that before!

Hi Buckets Obviously I don't have the experience of more than one, but I have found that giving DS a bottle of ebm makes me incredibly sad, in a way that I recognise is completely pathetic It just feels wrong to be giving him milk from a bottle instead of putting him to the breast. The stupid thing is that he blatantly doesn't give a monkey's where it comes from - food is food as far as he's concerned. But yes, I do get what you mean about the inhibition and anxiety, although of course with me it could just be a first timer thing...

Buckets I totally understand where you're coming from.

I formula fed my DS and am BFing DD. Sometimes I feel really tied to DD and resentful of DP for not being able to be more involved. It also has made me much more anxious as it feels that anything that happens with her is my fault (am having issues at the moment as her weight gain has slowed signifcantly and she's really small to start off with).

On the other hand I am really proud of myself for being able to BF her as I never thought I would (or have the inclination).

Hiya

I always used to leap in offence at the suggestion that BFing makes you bond better with your babies - if you take away the bias to the word bond, I think it may be true. Bonded being tied rather than 'in love.' Anyway, I don't like this bonding thing at all and once we're both getting more sleep at night I plan to start quitting BF.

Yes I'm thinking of starting to mix feed but need to wait until I get her weight issues sorted out. I do feel inordinately protective of her but am sure I did of DS at this age too.

I expressed then fed DS and am bfing DD who is now 5 months. I have found bfing difficult and it has not made me bond more with DD than DS. Often feeding DS with the bottle was a far more relaxing experience. Funnily enough you do not just feel lovely happy thoughts when you have sore/bleeding nipples, have milk spraying everywhere or they just won't latch.

In addition DS had a better bond with DH as he shared feeding. I think DD is more bonded to me as a result of bfing than DS was. Pros and cons to that!

Yeah that's what I mean, bonding doesn't have to mean happy thoughts.

It's interesting isn't it? I'd never before considered that bonding could have negative connotations as well. I know I'm lucky that bf has gone so well for us, but at the same time it's almost made the bond more binding - giving DS a bottle feels completely unnatural, even though I know in my rational mind that it is not.

The other night we had our first attempt at DP putting DS to bed; it did not go well as DS completely refused the bottle. I was surprised by the mixture of joy and resentment I felt, that bedtime must still belong only to me!

I don't know if it's because I demand bottlefed dd (ff) and co-slept but I feel just as bonded to her as bf and co-sleeping ds. It is overwhelming but I love it.And am very pleased that we are so bonded, was terrified that the bond I had with my first-born couldn't be achieved with a second. Perhaps bfing has enabled that, not sure.

DD was mixed-fed and DS is BF and I definitely bonded more deeply more quickly with DS. I suppose it is a feeling that he is all mine and only I can give him what he needs. It defintely has its disadvantages and you have little freedom but I personally absolutely love it and wouldn't change it for the world (he is 1 next week and I still feel like this)

I don't really understand the bonbing being a negative thing. i used to be really proud that I was producing the stuff that made my kids big and strong, it's just an amazing thing! VERY hard work at times of course, but thoroughly worth it in the long run.

moomaa- thats exactly how i feel too. DS1 was bottlefed and DS2 is breastfed. i do feel quite "tied" to DS2 and DS1 is sometimes missing out on exclusive mummy-time as i cant go anywhere without DS2. DH also feels he is missing out on feeding DS2 so we have been doing some mixed-feeding which is working really well now that BFing is established.

on a slight tangent, i have also found BFing, at times, a lonely experience. at 3am when the rest of the world is asleep sitting in bed feeding DS2 is just so isolating.