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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

HV and also now GP really upsetting me about DD's weight gain

25 replies

IwishIwasamermaid · 28/11/2008 11:50

I just need some reassurance I think, if anyone can help

DD is 13 weeks old, she was 7lbs 3oz at birth (well 2 hours after and after a feed) and now weighs 11 lbs exactly.

Last week HV weighed her at clinic even though I had only gone on my GP's advice to get some support for PND. DD weighed 10lb 13ozs so she was suggesting formula, wake her overnight 3 hourly to feed etc. This week she has still not put on enough for them.

I said that I was quite happy with her, she is alert and smiling, wet and dirty nappys frequently, sleeps all night (I ignored the waken her at night etc) and didn't mind if she wasn't following the charts.

So HV sent me into see GP, who said that she is worried about DD's weight and I have to take her back to get weighed in a week.

I'm so upset, I wish I had never turned to them for support for my PND

OP posts:
fishie · 28/11/2008 11:56

iwishiwasamermaid there are lots of us here who have been through this, plenty of hvs are quite loopy about bf babies and weight. i think there is a support thread somewhere, will have a look in a sec.

are they weighing her properly? on digital scales and always naked? if she is putting on weight and is otherwise ok then really don't worry. i know how difficult it is to resist them and it must be even worse with pnd.

weblette · 28/11/2008 11:56

Grrrrr on your behalf. Your dd sounds as if she's doing just fine. What is it with the weighing obsession??!!

There's a thread on here which I can't remember the name of, but others have been through the same and it has all the arguments you need to tell them to GO AWAY! I'm sure someone will be along with a better memory than me soon!

Grammaticus · 28/11/2008 12:02

I was advised by my numpty health visitor to wake DS1 for night feeds. I even did it a couple of times (first baby). But later my GP said that there was no need to wake a healthy full term baby.

How is your DD on the charts, is she "falling down" them? She sounds fine to me, for the reasons you say, but if you are feeling low this will bother you I'm sure - poor you.

Original poster
IwishIwasamermaid · 28/11/2008 12:02

Thank you ladies

I did try to tell the HV and the GP that I wasn't coming back but they were having none of it.

She is always weighed naked on digital scales, she is a petite little thing though and is putting on weight and hasn't lost any.

I'm so frustrated and upset

OP posts:
shabbypinkfrog · 28/11/2008 12:04

I breast fed my DS4 for 6 months. Every time we went to have him weighed he had gained a very small amount. I was told to stop breast feeding etc etc etc. Once at clinic I was told 'OMG he looks like an Ethiopian baby - he is so skinny' that was off one of the HV. I stopped going to the clinic after that. I was also told 'You would think an older mum would know what she was doing!!!'

Now he is 11 - doing fantastic at High school and guess what??? The school nurse has said he is several pounds overweight!!!! I wont put on here what my answer was - dont want to turn the air blue so early in the day.

Original poster
IwishIwasamermaid · 28/11/2008 12:06

I'm terrified they think I'm neglecting her and DS (he is 16 months)

I feel like they are watching me, I am losing my confidence really quickly. It feels like they think I'm not a good Mum

OP posts:
stretchmarkqueen · 28/11/2008 12:08

I haven't been to the HV with ds since he was 12 weeks old, he's now 28 weeks. This is because of the crap time they gave my with DD2 when she didn't put on 'enough' weight, which resulted in me early weaning. Funnily enough, she didn't start to fill out until she was 1!!

You don't have to go back, they can't force you, and she is putting on weight isn't she??

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 28/11/2008 12:11

my ds is 11 weeks, was 7lb 8 at birth and today weighed 9lbs. HV however is supportive and is pleased with his presentation and just says he needs to catch up on the weight he lost/didn't gain in the 1st 6 weeks. so yours is heavier than mine/will be and mine is fine? see....HVs and GPs are all different. trust your instincts, they can't make you weigh her.

fishie · 28/11/2008 12:12

it makes me so angry to see these fools undermining mothers in this way. it will be fine. you can always lie and say you are waking her for a bottle at 3am. or ask for referral to a paediatrician? that's what i did in the end and it got them off my back. paed he said i was neurotic for doing weekly weighing but never mind.

here's that thread also if you seach bf topic with words support low weight gain there are lots of useful threads for you to look at.

savoycabbage · 28/11/2008 12:12

Hi, my dd has always 'off the bottom of the graph'. She was two in October and has just managed to get onto the 4th percentile. She wears number three nappies. My HV has always been on at me to fatten her up and at one point we had to take her to hospital every three months. Eventually we decided to opt out of that as it was a waste of time.

Like your dd she is happy and is perfectly healthy. She doesn't eat much but she is not a fussy eater. My HV is always telling me to give her cheese. Once she told me to giver her crisps. She also told her to wean her early to fatten her up but I didn't. My solution was to do what I felt was best for my baby rather than what the HV and Doctor told us. One of the Doctors at the hospital told us to 'make her drink more' of her bottles! My DH passed her over and asked her to show him how to do it.....

All of this used to upset me as I was worried about it. I have an older dd who was a strapping baby. She is a wonderful eater. But my dd2 is still a tiny tot. Your baby is VERY young for them to be going on at you about it. I would be tempted to stop getting her weighed for a couple of weeks. You don't have to do what your HV says. Have you got a friend with a baby of a similar age you could talk to about it?

MrsGokWan · 28/11/2008 12:12

Also check that the scale they are measuring her on is for BF babies and not FF. You are within your rights to not go to the HV.

Sounds like she is gaining weight steadily and if her nappies are good and she is bright and alert then you should have no worries about her.

Can you change surgeries if it is upsetting you so much?

MrsGokWan · 28/11/2008 12:19

I have just looked at the weights for my 3 at 13 weeks

DC1 12LB 4OZ
DC2 14LB 0OZ
DC3 11LB 2OZ

So they were all different and no one has expressed any concerns with weight gain for my DC3.

Original poster
IwishIwasamermaid · 28/11/2008 12:20

Usually I can deal with these things well and would have no problem telling the HV to butt out, for some reason they keep talking me into taking her to the baby clinic.

My DP is a doc and he is not concerned about her and I feel she is fine.

DP is concerend about the effect its having on me.

I wasn't even going to have DD weighed today but they did her jags and then weighed her.

I just can't win.

OP posts:
PavlovtheCat · 28/11/2008 12:23

DD was born at 5lb and did not reach 11lb until she was well over 6 months old! She only weighs 26lb now at 2.5 and perfectly healthy. HV are pains in the ass.

Babies are born at a particular weight, it might not be the right one for them, it may be the one they were allowed to grow to in the womb. So some babies are born x size but are too big and as such they slow their growth down a little until they reach the weight/age they are meant to be. Same the other way, some babies are smaller than their designated weight, so they put on loads and loads of weight after being born. Not sure if that makes sense, but I am furious for you.

HV put pressure on me to formula feed as DD was soooooo underweight (allegedly) but DD refused. She is now a small (but not too small) skinny, extremely active 2.5 year old who eats and eats and eats. I was reassured when I saw a different older HV as a locum who said DD is just a small baby will be a small child and a small adult. Deal with it (thats what she said to me!!!)

Your DD sounds fine to me.

Booboobedoo · 28/11/2008 12:26

IwishIwasamermaid: you're giving in because you have PND. I'm really sorry for you.

I was a complete pushover when I had it, as I constantly doubted myself.

Your baby sounds fine, and is putting weight on faster than my DS did at the same age.

Give yourself a break! Don't go for a few weeks, and try and see as many nice friends as you can instead.

laidbackinengland · 28/11/2008 12:26

I wish I was a mermaid , big hugs to you, you sound like you are doing a great job. You don't have to have your baby weighed if you don't want to. If , as others have said she is gaining weight and weeing and pooing regularly there is no need.

You sound like you have been fobbed off a bit by your GP to see the HV's for PND advice - what support do you feel you need ? Maybe a sure start centre where you can meet other mums/be supported/positively encouraged etc. might be more useful than seeing these HV's where you are clearly feeling criticised and undermined. Is there Sure Start near you ?

prettybird · 28/11/2008 12:29

If your dh - your dad is not concerned, then just start ignoring them. Don't go to weigh-ins. If they ring, tell them that yuo want it put on record that you are happy with your baby's health. or even better - get your dh to talk to them.

it's a pity that it means that yuor PND is not getting sorted. Is there any way you can to the GP (or HV) without your baby? SO that they have to listen to you problems/health concners, rather than frightening you with unfounded concerns abut your baby?

Grammaticus · 28/11/2008 12:30

Your DP is a doctor? Ignore them all then, don't go back. Get your own support from somewhere else and opt out of this nonsense.

prettybird · 28/11/2008 12:34

Oops - meant to say your dh - your dd's dad"

Original poster
IwishIwasamermaid · 28/11/2008 12:40

I'm just worried that if I refuse then it might make them think I am irresponsible and set them off down a road of social workers and things.

I love my children and I am feeding DD and I am looking after both of them as well as anyone can I think.

OP posts:
Booboobedoo · 28/11/2008 12:42

I was worried about that, but my HV told me that they barely have enough time to go and see the really at-risk children, let alone chasing around after perfectly good mothers.

prettybird · 28/11/2008 12:50

That's why I suggested getting yuor dh to talk to them. Takes the responsibility off of you, especially at the moment when you are feeling vulnerable.

PortAndLemon · 28/11/2008 12:54

Could your DH get any time off to take your DD to be weighed next time? You shouldn't be having to deal with this on top of PND.

arcticlemming · 28/11/2008 13:09

Have just checked the centile charts. Based on the weights you've given she started on the 25th and is now on the 9th centile .As long as she is thriving and continuing to gain some weight regularly this is really, really not a big deal and I'm sorry your HV and GP are making it into one (I'm an ex HV by the way).
Agree with the suggestion that maybe your DP goes for weighing next time (if you want her weighed again) and points out the facts.

arcticlemming · 28/11/2008 13:10

By the way, my DD1 started on the 25th centile, fell off the bottom of the chart alltogether for a few weeks and now at three is over the 75th for height and weight.

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