Those of you who never used any form of sleep training - when/how did your breastfed-to-sleep dc's make the transition to falling asleep on their own?

[ThreeWheelsOnMyWagon]

Now that I've started this I realise I probably should have put it in Sleep but I'm here now, so I'm staying!

Dd is nearly 11 months old now and I'm starting to think a little bit about the future and how the transition from feeding-to-sleep will work. I'm making the assumption that she will not really start to settle herself to sleep properly until she chooses to stop breastfeeding. She has recently started to occasionally rest her head on my shoulder as though she wants to doze, but has only actually fallen asleep this way once. She will also settle herself in the night if she wakes and is not hungry, but when she is properly awake - nap time during the day, for example - she needs a feed to get to sleep. If we are out and about, dd will nap in the car or pram no problem without having to feed so it is clear that she can do it, but I don't blame her for wanting to take the cosy comfy route when she has the option!

For what it's worth, I absolutely love breastfeeding, I'm not planning on stopping anytime soon - I never thought past the 6 month mark really, never mind a year, but now that her first birthday is approaching I can't imagine stopping in what is really only a matter of weeks - and I'm quite happy to keep feeding to sleep for as long as she wants to do it (within reason, of course!)

So, not a problem really, but I would be interested in your experiences...

DS always fed to sleep at night. And then he stopped going to sleep on the boob over the course of a couple of weeks when he was about 11 months. We had a few slightly difficult weeks as he worked out how to go to sleep on his own, but it wasn't terrible, and I used some of the Elizabeth Pantley ideas to help. And he kept bfing until he was nearly 2.

wil be watching dd2 1 in Jan and we have bf much longer than i envisioned.
However sleep isn't great!!

This might not be what you want to hear, but here goes... DS2 is 4 in February and he has just started going to sleep on his own over the last few months. I'd estimate that he goes to sleep like this about 50 per cent of the time now.

cmot, that's interesting. How did your bedtime routine change? Did you still give a bedtime feed and he just dropped off on his own afterwards or would anyone have been able to put him to bed? Am asking this as DH is starting to get a bit fed up that DD won't go to him when she knows its bedtime. I know he'd love to settle her to sleep himself but I don't see that as a possibility in the near future.

Once I realised that he'd decided not to feed to sleep, I started to do his last feed downstairs (this sort of started to move forward so that it came further away from bed). Then took him upstairs and put him in the cot, and read a story. Then turned out the light, laid him down, and kept laying him down. If he cried, I picked him up and cuddled him, then put him down once calm. I did a staged withdrawl so that at first I sat right next to him as he drifted off, then a bit further etc until I was sat outside the door.

Because the feed and going to sleep was separated, anyone was able to do it. For some reason I still do bedtime if I'm here though

Within 2 weeks I would do the story, turn the light out, and walk out. He's 2.6 now, and is an excellent sleeper - he'll go to sleep anywhere.

policywonk, now you're scaring me!

About 11 months - he just stopped falling asleep at the boob. I panicked about how he was going to fall asleep, but I just put him in his cot with his comfort blanket and he rolls over and falls asleep. I am so glad in retrospect I just let nature take it's course and didn't succumb to pressure to try and train him to sleep on his own. He's a wonderful sleeper now at 18 months.

DD is nearly 16 months now. She breastfed completely to sleep until about 11 months. From then up til now she feeds until drowsy then delatches and I cuddle her til she falls asleep. I don't see that changing any time soon as she's going through a really tough patch due to teething and illness. I expect she'll learn how to settle herself in her own time.

I did almost exactly what dibbler did. DS is 20 months, and happily goes to sleep on his own.

If he's a bit niggly, I give him a book and he 'reads' himself to sleep.

lol at 'reading to sleep' - dd's current favourite food is board-book. If I left one in her cot there'd be nothing left by morning!

same as giddykipper.
DS settled himself quite early on, DD1 just stopped falling asleep after a feed at about 11-12 months. Would give her a bit of a rock then put her down and she would sleep. THye both liked the music boxes from their mobiles- DD! still has hers and plays it to herself if she wakes up.

DS is 16 months and started to pull off and look at the cot around a year old. He's still big on feeding to sleep when ill though, and hard work for DP sometimes if I am late home from work.

Recently 2 things have been helpful but both have been linked to his developing understanding - when I realised he knows what "all gone" means in the context of empty cups/bowls I started to use that to explain myself when a feed was over yet he was asking for more, and we've also fostered an interest in books, joined library etc and made reading together a big thing. This means when I started doing the bedtime feed with the light on and introduced a story between that and lights out he was totally delighted and has actually skipped feeds a couple of times this week

I am glad we've let him do it naturally, really glad. Any other way, for him and for us, would have been bad.

ThreeWheelsOnMyWagon: it's really cute.

His favourites are Penguin, We're Going On A Bear Hunt and The Tiger That Came to Tea.

He stares intently at the pictures and then his eyes start to droop...

I love Bear Hunt. DD always finds the page where the bear appears in the cave and just stares at it wide-eyed waiting for me to do the big scary build-up!

3 and a bit, started reading books...LOTS at first, but now can get away with less and often can just do one andthen Ds lies down and I lie back and pretend to fall asleep whilst feeding younger sister who makes quite a lot of noise about it,,,

When DD was little I was told to put her to down as she was getting sleepy and not yet asleep and we usually did so.

When I was pregnant with DC2, I would nurse DD downstairs (she was about 18/20 months old I think) and then DH would take her upstairs and to bed.

We still do this at 27 months, nurse downstairs and choice of parent to take her upstairs. If I am not here, she will go to bed without the milk no problem.

I obviuosly have a freakish DS, but despite being excl breastfed by a parent with AP ideals, he fell asleep by himself regularly from 6 weeks, and nightly from 4 months. I have no idea why, and I often worry I accidently trained him against my beliefs. But I don't think so.

hi i have two little ones, i fed both of mine to sleep (they would sleep in the day from either boob, car of buggy when they were tired) until they were about 11 mths. With my first i was going back to work parrt time so had to start put her down awake for daytime nap and with my second i am staying at home but still wanted to do it when he was old enough so i can have 2 hours with my daughter whilst son sleeps after lunch. I carried on bf my daughter til 19 mths (and am still bf my son). Both had never had any real sleep training before we did it and i found it really hard at first but we did controlled crying.

I would put them down awake after lunch or before lunch when sleepy and then leave them in the cot for 5 mins crying then go in and cuddle them til they stopped crying then i would put them back in and would increase til 10 mins then go back in and settle them then increase til 15 mins etc most days they were asleep in 30 mins (to distract me i would keep myself busy whilst they cried). I found it really hard to begin with but now most days my son goes to sleep within 10 mins and most nights after double boob is still awake so we have a story and i sing some lullabys and then put him down awake. Both of my children adjusted quite quickly to this so i may have been lucky. I do find it hard hearing them cry but its good they have learnt to do it by themselves. I started this at a similar time to you as i thought they were old enough to cope with it then and also i could not have coped with it before then.

Hope this is not too rambled

xxx

Thanks for all your replies. It looks as though 11 months-ish is quite a common time for changes to start happening. Must go and have a word with dd!

Just a quick update on this thread - having read your replies, I started to really watch dd as she was feeding and to try to identify when she was actually feeding and when she was dozing and just comfort-sucking. It was quite difficult to tell any difference, and I was (and have been for ages) quite covinced that she did acutally need a 30-45 minute feed every time.

On Saturday night I tried detaching her from the breast after about 15 minutes, when it seemed to me that she was feeding more half-heartedly. When I put her into her cot she cried for about half a minute, opened her eyes and then promptly turned over and went to sleep! Since then, not one feed has lasted longer than 10 - 15 mins and she will go into her cot without being fully asleep and just have a little wriggle and then off she goes! I really wasn't desperate for her to stop feeding to sleep, but now that I am getting up in the night for 20ish minutes rather than 45mins to an hour, it seems like a bit of a revelation

I know it's early days yet and things could all go pear-shaped quite easily, but just wanted to thank you for sharing your experiences and helping me to get a little more sleep over the past couple of nights!