Exclusive breastfeeders past & present...a little poll for you.

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A dear friend of mine is expecting her first baby soon. She is very committed to exclusive breastfeeding. She (as I did) bought a cot, moses basket, carrycot etc in the very reasonable expectation that the baby will sleep peacefully in one of them.

My own experience is that after only a few days of concerted effort trying and failing to persuade dd to sleep in her amby hammock, I gave in and co-slept out of desperation, and never looked back. I personally would not have succeeded in excl bf for 6 months if I has persevered in seperate sleeping arrangements. For me, the one enabled the other.

I was just wondering, though, what the MN experience has been. If you successfully bf exclusively, did you co-sleep occasionally, regularly, or never?

Just curious, really!

Sorry, I haven't read all the posts, but I don't agree with this at all (although everyone is different obviously). Actually I sadly find that it is the expectation that this is what it is going to be like if you breast feed (co-sleeping, constant night feeding etc) that has put off various friends of mine from trying it unfortunately.

Both my DDs were exclusively BF and I never co-slept. In fact I moved both girls out into the room next door after about 10 days as I found it impossible to sleep with them in the room with me. I've never really understood the feeding in bed thing. I found if I tried it that we'd both drop off, DD wouldn't take a proper feed and would wake up an hour later for more feeding anyway. In any event I ALWAYS had to get out of bed anyway as both DDs always pooed straight after or during a feed so I ALWAYS had to do a nappy change so generally it was easier for me just to get up properly once in the night, do one proper feed then go back to sleep rather than the constant on off feeeding and disturbance if the baby was in my bed. Both girls slept through 12 hrs a night from about 8 or 9 weeks anyway so I guess I was lucky that the whole night feeding thing wasn't much of an issue for me anyway.

I think you have a point there, Nelly - cosleeping is usually borne out of necessity by people whose babies don;t sleep 12h at 8 or 9 wks

I'd never have considered it had the alternative not been getting up every 45min all night every night...

Not entirely. It is one of the loveliest things in the world to sleep curled around your sleeping baby. It's like having a warm teddy . With ds1 I used to wake in the night and find that dh and I were both curled around him, with our arms arced protectively over him.

IMO co-sleeping is at its best with a good sleeper, who wakes for a feed only once at night. It's not nearly as nice with a child who sleeps through, because you don't appreciate it as much then. But, yes, it's born of necessity with a non-sleeper. Still nice, though.

The next-best thing to co-sleeping is a sidecar cot.

I did it very successfully without co sleeping and constant feeding. We need our sleep- getting enough is always a problem when DH gets up at 5.30am. I also had them in their own room and much preferred getting out of bed to do a proper feed.

Still b/fing 15mo DD. Have only ever co-slept when she's been unwell and extra difficult to settle. Used to have nightmares that she was still in bed with us, and wake up to find myself pulling the covers off DH, waking him up too. He wasn't terribly impressed!!

Exc bfed dd for 6mo. She was in her own room by end of week 1.She never slept more than 3hrs in a row at this time. Never co slept, paranoid we'd squash her.

I entirely agree with Nelly. Not everybody wants to wear their baby all day and sleep with them at night. It is entirely possible to breastfeed without doing either. And has been for generations.

With my first she slept in a cot quite happily - she was a vrilliant sleeper though and slept through from 5 weeks. My second is a different story - he's pretty much a co-sleeper and is a year old. I suppose it depends on the baby really.

dd exc bf for 6 months and still bf now at 16 months,
never co-slept.

With dd (3) and ds (1) both breastfeed until about 9 months and never co-slept with either. Both were in moses basket right next to bed until they were too big for it. Then into own cot. I got up and fed them - though often did it lying down when they were in the same room as me and then PUT THEM BACK in moses basket.

I just accepted getting up in the night to feed them. DD has only ever slept in our bed once (a habit i didn't want) and ds never has. I don't see that there is a problem doing it this way - worked for me, althought I do understand the benefits of co-sleeping.

If i had to do it again (which I hope I don't - 2 is enough!)I prob would do the same. Although, I think I would get a sling for daytimes (only difference)

HTH x

2 babies bf for 12 months and 2 years and counting and i co-slept with both.

when dd was born the hospital suggested bringing her into the bed if i was bf-ing and i was a bit resistant as i'm a heavy sleeper and wasn't convinced it was safe. after 2 days at home it became clear that my options were;

A cosleep and feed lying down
B sit up all night feeding and returning to crib only to be woken 10 mins later for another feed and have to sit up for another 30 mins.... nervous breakdown soon to follow
C give up and give her a bottle

i chose A and when ds was born i brought him straight into the bed with me and never looked back

both mine start ou t the night in their crib/cot and end p in my bed with me the first time they ask for a feed once i'm in bed myself.

i'll be doing the same with dc3

My DS has been exclusively BF until now. He has never slept in our bed but then from day one he was always a really good sleeper. Even as a newborn he would only need one night feed.

On the other hand he would want feeding every hour and a half or so throughout the day so I guess he stocked up then.

PS - Should ahve said my DS is obviously supposed to be on solids now but is not really interested so milk is very much his main source of nutrition still.

Exclusively bf but no co-sleeping for us.

Up until about 6 months (when solids introduced) would wake 2/3 times a night so not great sleeping I spose but worked fine for us!

Breastfed exclusively for 5 and a half months (until I went back to work) and continued successfully until DD was 14 months when she self-weaned. DD never slept in our bed until she was 20 months old and suddenly went loopy. But she is now a committed co-sleeper and I have no idea how to get her out!

I exclusively BF and yes I did co-sleep.

Exclusively breastfed twins (except for stupid midwife in hosp giving them a bottle of formula!!) and never really co-slept. Occasionally fell asleep with one on my chest, but transferred to Moses basket as soon as I realised. I think it's what the baby is used to right from the beginning. With twins its impossible to carry them around all the time, but they were always near each other so that probably helped. Esp. when they moved into their own room at 5 mths.

I don't think you have to co-sleep to succeed at breastfeeding, in fact I know several people who have had baby/ies in another room and still managed to exclusively breastfeed, but I don't have a problem with people who do co-sleep if it works for them. Whatever helps you through those long dark hours!!!

exc bf my youngest three to 4 months, 6 months & 11 months respectively (basically until I went to work!!) Never co-slept or even shared a room with them, I think the eldest one lasted 2 weeks in our room.

Started mine off in crib by the side of the bed. Plonked them in bed with me when it seemed easier in the middle of the night. Didn't make a big deal out of it, kept it secret from Health Visitor and Midwife in case I got told off.

DD was mix fed and sometimes coslept
DS excl bf sometimes cosleep. He starts off in his own cot and comes in with me at whatever point I don't want to get out of bed anymore! So sometimes he stays in his cot all night (feeds excepted), other times he is in with me from 4/5 am, other times from 11pm. I prefer not to have him in with me though because he annoys me, I like my own space to sleep not having a little person climbing all over me or nuzzling me all night!

I exclusively breastfed mine til 6/7 months. With ds1 I didn't co-sleep at all, he was in his own room from 3 weeks. With ds2 I occasionally co-slept, or rather brought him into our bed in the night, didn't ever start off in bed together. They were quite different babies, ds1 was a noisy and restless but sound sleeper and has never enjoyed being in bed with us. Ds2 is much more cuddly and lies quietly in our bed, plus is not as good a sleeper so more often ends up there. I think you have to go with the flow and do what seems right for you and the baby.

I have bf my 3 (total of my life spent vf, 5 years +) and only ever co-slept when I fell asleep while feeding through utter exhaustion. I was [am] terrified of rolling on the baby.

I never had a problem with putting the baby back in his/her cot to go back to sleep. Although DS2 as a small baby objected until I lined his moses basket with a fleece blanket.

DS2 is 14 months and when he wakes for a feed goes back happily, a quick burp as he is carried back to his room. He has a sleeping bag and stays in it for the whole feed, and has done since tiny.

I exclusively bf dd for 6 months. She started out sleeping in her Moses basket and then came into our bed at some point during the night (I intended to move her back but always fell asleep!) At around 4 months she started feeding a lot at night, had outgrown the Moses basket and wouldn't sleep in the cot, so we co-slept full time until we nightweaned at 22 months. I'd have continued with the co-sleeping but dd couldn't cope with being next to me at night but not getting milk.

I'm pregnant again and fully intend to co-sleep from the beginning as I think I'll get far more sleep that way. I was thinking about getting an Amby hammock for naps and the odd time I don't want to co-sleep, but you (OP) have made me reconsider that!

ds1 was exclusively breastfed for 4.5 months.

he slept in his cot from day one, and had a regular 4 hr waking/feeding pattern. this had nothing to do with the gicving up bf, btw. totally diff issues going on!

ds2 is also exc breastfed and we have done ANYTHING necessary to get some bloody sleep lol. so, co-sleeping, sleeping downstairs with him on my chest etc etc. he now sleeps in his cot and we're still bf-ing

all babies are different, and I don't think it's unreasonable of your friend to think her baby might sleep in a cot or whatever. some babies do!