Is the HV right??

[scrappydappydoo]

Had dd2s 9mth check yesterday and it didn't go well... she said that her development was fine but when we moved onto her sleeping and eating it went a pear shaped - basically dd does not sleep well at all - dd wakes up 3/4 times a night - most of the time she settles with a quick cuddle but sometimes she needs a comfort feed.. and usually ends up co-sleeping with us.. She has 3 meals a day and occasionally snacks on my boob.

So HV says that I am overfeeding her and should be only bfing her 3 times a day - morning, noon and night and that she should get the rest from her food?? I didn't bf dd1 this long so I'm in new territory - is she right?? Should I stop feeding on demand?

I'm a bit cos she kept pushing me to put her on formula as it will help her sleep more solidly which I said I didn't want to do - just move onto cows milk at 1yr to which she got quite sarcastic saying well what do you put in her porridge then - so she kinda lost credibility but now I'm wondering what to do?

DS woke for feeds until he was 1. He fed probably 6/8 times a day at 9m!

She is your baby. It is only a problem if you think it is. You obviously don't have a problem with her eating and sleeping so just ignore the health visitor.

The HV is wrongwrongwrong. You are not 'overfeeding' her, and formula will not help her sleep.

Ignore her, and if the sleeping is an issue then ask on MN for advice!

She's bonkers. Ignore her completely.

Breastmilk is the perfect food for your baby. As long as you and your baby are happily nursing you are doing the right thing.

Feed on demand if that suits you, I have on occassion distracted my older toddler with snacks but I remember feeding on demand until she was 18 months old or so.

I would be interested if your HV only ate three times a day and never had a cup of tea or a biscuit just as a snack !?! Yet she expects a tiny baby to stick to rigid meal times

Short answer, please yourself, ignore the HV

WRONG. So sick of HV's

What a fucking idiot.
Talking through arse.

Ignore her. It sounds like your doing great.

Complain if you've got the energy. The more people who demand that HVs stop talking bollocks give more evidence-based advice the better.

Thanks - just had a few niggles - don't have a lot of confidence at the mo so tend to question everything.

I gave into the pressure at about 6 months and went onto formula - didn't make a blind bit of difference to the sleeping.

Pressure from what quarters ANT?

From advice from the HV, family, friends etc. Baby should be sleeping longer now. Maybe you're just not producing enough even though DS2 was also on solids.

Its such a struggle cause all any of us want is to do whats best and I self doubted.

Poor you.

I hate the way people (usually big guzzlers themselves) try to force babies into patterns which mean going hours and hours with no comfort or sip or nibble.

I always ask those sorts of peopel how long they are willing to go themselves.It's like the feeding 4 hourly crap. Does any adult really go 4 hours without so much aS A SIP OF TEA COFFEE A OR WA ter??

The H/V contradicted herself.

Your DD's development is fine, but the H/V is worried about her sleeping?

Isn't that a personal issue between you and your DH/DP?

If I go to my GP about sleep issues, he doesn't ask me who I'm sleeping with or what I had to eat beforehand.

Ignore.

I have alot of friends who like me EBF their los until at least a year and had sleep issues. I also know the same number again who FF or mix fed at that age. Result? No discernable difference (one was an excellent sleeper from day one so we don't count her )

Now 3 of them have DC2. 1 is mix feeding as before - and has a worse sleeper. One is EBF and has an excellent sleeper. The other has just introduced formula at night (new to them) at 7m and no difference at all! They are all about 6/7m.

I do think that mums in RL lie a little about their DC sleep habits, traditionally it has been a sign of bad parenting/lack of training the baby. A good friend recently let slip that hers was a terror at night but she told no one thinking we would all think she was a bad mum . We know differently now yet the HV lag behind the more forward thinking theories.

IMO a baby should be fed on demand as long as they want it. Formula is fine for those parents that need it - I am not judging feeding choices here. As someone else said if they are thirsty give them a drink! I have always needed a glass of water beside the bed, DD seems to be like me. She does sleep though and started to do that gradually from 12m, more so when she started walking at 16m. Now she is 2 she only wakes if disturbed or is feeling poorly.

No, she's not right

No, she's not right. I BF both DD's past 12 months, one slept through, one didn't. Both fed on demand, and neither ever needed formula.
You are doing great.

scrappy, this sounds like another HV who could benefit from being challenged (politely, if you prefer ;) ).

She is confused between ff and bf - that's the only kind explanation I can come up with for such strange advice.

If you were ff and giving a full formula bottle 3-4 times a night and several snacky bottles of formula a day, then an informed HV might suggest to you that you cut down on this large amount of formula milk, for fear it took the place of a gradual increase in solid food...as it may well do. She might even suggest you cut down to 3 bottles of formula.

But you are bf her. She regulates her own intake, and you respond to her needs by giving her human milk as she is a baby human. Her development is fine (you have just had this checked), you are comfortable about what sounds like normal needs at night, and responsive to her milk needs in the day, as well as giving her solids.

I don't see the problem

if you are happy and your DC is happy and putting on weight then ignore her.

My DS still wakes for a feed once or twice a night and if the 2nd one is after 5am he usually ends up in my bed too, as he is unlikely to settle back in the cot at that point. He did start going through the night when he was about 6mo but then got ill and since then has never managed to go for more than 6hours, and usually only 4.

And I use rice milk in his porridge - I also don't want to use formula and will switch to cow's milk when he is 1 (in a fortnight - where did the year go?!)

Ignore her.

I have given up taking my DD to see the HV and I only ever take her to get her weighed if I am concern (DD has slow weight gain). It is a shame as it would be nice to have some advice from them. The last time I took my DD she was about 8 months and because she wasn't eating loads of food that week (had previously been having 3 good meals a day and eating plenty) she said my DD was having far too much milk, which I knew was bollocks as she was having double the amount of milk before on top of her solids and was just having an off week because of teething. She told me to completly stop milk so she is forced to eat solids. I ignored her and fed on demand and once the tooth came through we were back on track.

I get useless advice everytime I go.

well my dd2 is now 14 months and still feeds 3-5 times a day plus 3 meals plus snacks. She does sleep though most of the noght but does have one feed at about 5am.

HV sucks, sounds like mine havent seen mine in months

lol- HV's are generally crap!

I bf ds until he was 6mths- he woke every night at 3-4am for a feed until he was 9mths (formula made no difference)

dd1- woke through the night till she was about 15mths, just for her dummy!

dd2- is sleeping through now at 6mths and I've only just stopped BF.

Deoends on the child, IMO!

Only thing you could do if you want is give expressed BM in the evening- don't know why but sometimes they take more and sleep longer but sometimes not!

The best advice I ever read about feeding and if it's OK (I think on here) was if you take feeding out of the equation would you be happy about everything else? Obviously the answer here is yes so don't worry about it.