Lots of bfing questions - groups, going out and using a bottle

[Anglepoise]

DD is 8 weeks tomorrow and I have lots of questions!

1. What happens at a bfing group? I'm thinking I should probably try to meet some other mums nearby soon so could go along to one of these, but are they just for if you're having problems bfing?

1. Where can you go out if you're exclusively bfing? At the moment, we visit my parents quite a lot because they're nearby and it's nice to get out of the house, but DH and I haven't been "out" out since DD was born, except for a very hasty Sunday lunch when we left DD with my mum and dad and then had to rush home when she woke up Having popped my bfing in public cherry last weekend, I think it would be okay to take DD with us if we went out for dinner or to the cinema and just feed her or take her out if she started crying, but DH is a bit worried about doing this. Presumably people who are exclusively bfing do go out sometimes ... ? Do you take DC with you ... ? Are you allowed to take babies into the cinema (when it's not a screening specifically for parents and children)?

1. I've tried giving DD a bottle of ebm a couple of times, and while she'll take an ounce, she isn't very keen. I have an extremely fast/forceful let-down, so I was wondering whether the slow teat I've been using is too slow and I should be using a faster one. We've tried the Tommy Tippee bottle with most success and the Breastflow bottle once, which didn't go too well.

TIA

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1. It's just a gathering of mums who feel free to flash a breast a feed their babies while having a chat!

There's usually a counsellor there. It's just good to be with like minded people and realise you are not alone!

1. Avoid places where you'd get stuck in a queue with a hungry/dirty (poo) baby ie: supermarket on weekends etc...

Everything else is fine as long as you learn to spot the baby friendly environments. That is -restaurants where you can sit in a quiet corner or with your back to the wall rather than in the middle of a busy room -shopping venues with baby change facilities -Cinema too noisy unless it's a "quiet movie", during the day and baby nicely tucked into a sling, cuddled to sleep and breastfed through the movie. -anywhere really as long as you have your sling or a large shawl to cover yourself. It's very easy when they are so little as they don't move around too much. My DD now 7 months just pulls off with a big grin (ouch!!) when she's done and starts babbling to everyone, so imagine people's faces if you don't cover up properly!

1. what sunnytimer said!

You sound very confident in what you are doing. Just carry on

congratulations!

Thanks for the replies (and the congratulations ).

Will try to check out a group. Good point about the cinema being noisy - will try to make a baby screening but (like so many parent activities) they seem to be very early in the morning, and I'm still a late sleeper despite DD (even more so in fact! ).

I have a 10 year old that was fully BF for 2 years and a 7 month old that is fully BF.

I also have a large let down and my baby used to gag alot and lose his breath. I is scary at first but they learn ways to control the flow, like pushing against the boob and now he will come off and breath and go on again.

My milk shoots out for miles and BFing outside need planning. Before I go out I put a breast pad in one side (disposable, the washable ones cant contain the amount of milk) and then keep a muslin handy to catch any spray if the baby comes off.

Always have BF pads in your bag, lanisoh ones are the best but are expensive, but tescos have a new one thats really similar and less than half the price.

When out I alway wear something that will give me some privacy like a cardigan or something. (not a maverick BFer)

I generally feed anywhere now, if cafes etc, I try to find somewhere that is a little more private if I can (but thats just me).

TBH I would not do the cinima as they are so loud and the chances of getting trouble for a baby crying are big, also some cinemas do baby friendly screenings in the day.

I would encourage you to go to a BFing group as I benifited massively from having company of experience BFing mothers.

I would stay away from expressing at this stage, I did it with my first and it caused alot of problems especially with the increased let down, I would give it another couple of months in order for the milk let down to settle some. I have never expressed for this baby and have not had the problems with engorgement.

Mostly, relax and enjoy BFing you are still in the early stages and things are hard but you have done so well to get this far, trust your baby and your body, don't let HV's or Doctors shake your faith in what you are doing. BFing is one of the most rewarding things a woman can do with her child, and the good thing is it will only get easier from now on.

1. sorry no experience with bfing groups but half the mums at my yoga class and baby group breast feed. some subtly, some not so subtly. I'm always impressed with my yoga teacher's bfing positions.

1. You can do anything that other mums do! We go out for lunch or an early tea every week. I particularly recommend restaurants with booths (not just for b-fing babies) Nando's and yo sushi are great for that. I was pleasanltly suprised that our local "posh thai" has a cheap lunch menu and they were very happy for us to bring dd in!

A lot of gyms, leisure centres etc have a creche for baby whilst you work out. I am very lucky as the staff at our local pool are excellent, dd is always happily playing or sound asleep after my aqua-natal session!

We are big fans of live music and cinema. We don't have a plethora of family and friends nearby to baby sit, so we took dd campin to a 3 day music festival when she was 12 weeks. It was absolutely fine, though I did miss some of the late acts.
I do miss going to the cinema, try going to late shows, if you have acommadating baby sitters and your lo is likely to be asleep anyway? Our parents in Ireland live 5 minutes away from the local multiplex, so we will take advantage of that.

1. Try getting someone else to give the ebm, dd gives me the most incredulous looks if I give her the bottle. She will take it from me readily from a doidy cup (and has done since 12 weeks)

Sorry this post is so long, but I have been so pleased to find all the ways dd has adapted to our lives.

I volunteer at a breastfeeding drop-in. It's great. We do have Mums who come in for specific problems, but we also find many come back week after week for the social side. It's a lovely group of Mums, and you quite often see them 2 hrs later in one of the coffee shops! Ie they've spent all day together!

ho
will try to answe your questions - bf ds2 for years and currently (and quite literlly so excuse typing) feeding ds3 who is 10 weeks

1. breastfeeding ime are like normal baby groups - coffee , chat, toys for baby and dsome oine on hand who knows a bit about breast feeding. great if you are slighly nervous about feeding in public
2. with ds2 i felt fairly tied but ds3 comes everywhere. our cinema do a baby showing one day a week. ime it is the getting over the worries about feeding in pubic that make a difference.

top tip
buy somew heap little vest tops from primarkl or new look. when out, undo yu bra and as you pull the cup down, puull down the vest top befopre you lift your regular top - no fleh on show. i was so much more confident after inventing this ~

1. teats - MAM ultivent (or someting). the only one ds2 took

oh yes something else - we went out fr lunch today at the local italian - i ask for a corner table with a little more spacce if not busy...you dont feel so 'on view'

I wouldn't bother ab out expressing yet, unless you have a pressing need to do so. My DS is 3 months old and we haven't even tried a bottle with him.

Hi there - and congrats...

I would say:

1. Great idea - the bf 'cafes' that I have been to are great places to meet mums and you can obv bf without feeling selfconscious - so good practice.

1. with dd I have been feeding everywhere but remember how nervous I felt with my ds and you dont have to feed in public really as long as you plan your trip and know where some feeding rooms are - ie mothercare/john lewis or shopping centres etc - i find art galleries/museums really good as well for some reason - especially contemporary art - they cant very well raise an eyebrow at bf when they've been looking at the chapman bros all afternoon...(and they're nice and quiet so no distracting noise for baby)

1. my ds wouldnt take anything except an avent fast flow teat - again with the forceful letdown - cos of this I would second beepers good advice about the pads/muslins...

and remember - if you pluck up the courage to feed in public you're influencing other women and showing them how easy it is...

BF groups are great. Ours is a chance to get help or just to have a chat. You can also whinge about cluster feeding/ night waking / leaking /whatever without someone telling you to give a bottle/leave them to cry or other helpful advice I still go to mine and DS is 10 months. Its just a nice place for a chat.

As for feeding in public - go wherever you like! I've fed in all sorts of places including at a conference dinner and more recently during a talk my husband was giving. Leaking / fast let down may complicate things but you'll get used to dealing with it if you're not already. Its also much easier before they get to the "bobbing on and off" stage.

I used to go to the cinema every so often with DS till he was about 6 months. He wasn't bothered by the noise until then, and he is still fine in films with lots of music (we stay away from action types but he loved Mamma Mia (twice)). If you're nervous many cinemas do baby showings where I think they turn the noise down and nobody will care if your baby cries.

Your baby (and you!) will appreciate it if they see more than the inside of their house, so get out and about before you have to worry about cups of water and taking food, and babies that want to nap at particular times!

Many thanks for all the replies - will give a bf group a go. DH is at home all the time at the moment, so it's very easy to get by without meeting other mums as I still get adult conversation, but I should get out and meet some people (we moved here when I was 36 weeks pg).

I have done a bit of bfing in public (the first place I did it was on the steps of Westminster Registry Office, on the A40!) but the main thing that worries me is being told off rather than flashing too much flesh (though I like the vest idea). I think if someone told me off then I would cry - need to search for some good retorts. I do agree that bfing is something that needs to be normalised though.

Cheers

anglepoise - for the record no one has ever told me off - I think you would have to be spectacularly unlucky for that to happen.

Reading your OP again I think you need to leave aside what your dh thinks as well - his embarrassment (if I have read it right - apologies if not) is something he needs to deal with not you...

good luck!

I have never ever been told off for BFing in public - and have done it lots of places, even when ds2 was a toddler. I had women cooing over ds3 last week in starbucks as he was getting fed. I reqally think most people don't even notice tbh. Get lots of different coloured vests - £3 from New look - and wear one that matches the colour of your top. It really changed how confident I felt about feeding in public. I wear normal tighiosh fitting tops with vest underneath and I am pretty sure that not an inch of flesh is seen by anyone! Good luck!

You can breastfeed a baby anywhere

I would try a faster flowing teat. if that doesn't work get DH to do it whilst you go out for an hour. my friend's lo would only take a bottle if she wasn't around.

cinema is fine!
I fed ds through a packed saturday showing of mamma mia. I tucked him inside my hoodie cardigan. so I doubt it was loud for him at all.

going out is the best thing about bf. no probs if you spontaneously decide to go out, r want to stay out longer since you never run out of food for baby!

Once botles came in, I was like fricking dairy crest I had so many 'just in case' sterilised bottles clinking about my person.

DH is very supportive of bfing - I think he just worries that she'll start to scream (in which case, boobie is usually the answer!)

oh I see good .

Its easier to get out and about when you know roughly when she'll sleep - when she starts having a longer nap at lunchtime for example - I find the screaming much more of an issue than the bfing so just tend to fit going out in and around my dds naps and less noisy periods - ie I make sure am back in the house before the dreaded 5-6pm...