Is it possible to overfeed with BF?

[digitalgirl]

My son is nearly 12 weeks old and seems to have been going through a growth spurt for the last 4 weeks (which I guess is technically not a 'spurt' but a phase). He seems to feed constantly - cluster feed? - from midday till bedtime (approx 7-9pm) or till DH gets home from work and can give me a break. In the last week he's dropped his morning nap in favour of another feed, so now I feel like all I do is feed or hold him while he catnaps for 5 minutes between feeds (he wakes up and cries if I try to put him down too soon after a feed, so I wait a while, but then he wakes up before i out him down and wants another feed again). I try to go out at least once a day to break this monotony up, but as soon as we stop moving he cries/grizzles and the boob seems to be the one thing to guarantee his happiness?

He was on the 9th centile and has begun to creep up to the 25th centile, so he's not particularly overweight yet, but I seem to be permenantly feeding him so am wondering if I'm setting up some sort of comfort-eating association that will be hard to break as he gets older.

Am I being lazy by constantly comforting him with the boob? Should I persevere with other distractions (longer walks/car rides, more nappy changes, baths, pacing up and down the house). Or is this a baby-led phase and will he eventually tire of being permenantly attached to me?

I worked so hard to establish BF that I'd be happy to continue this for a while if anyone could reassure me that there is light at the end of the feeding frenzy tunnel.

my son is 13 weeks most days like clockwork for feeds and naps.
However.... he does throw me by cluster feeding for hours on end, and wont go down.
Today he bf at 7.30am but then wouldnt feed again till 1.30pm thats the longest he has gone through the day.
But yesterday he fed constantly and had at least 3/4 good feeds for both sides in the space of 3 hours.

I think perhaps it could be a growth spurt,and the constant feeding will be upping your supply which is good and he may settle soon.

It sounds normal to me but, maybe someone with more experience will be able to help you

I remember early days feeding seemed to be constant. I felt like I was more milk machine than mama. And ds went up from 50th centile to 91st (his height is 99.6th, so he wasn't out of proportion). I worried a lot about overfeeding, or setting up associations, but now he's 9mo, lean (75th centile), and confident - crawls away from me whenever there's a bit of dirt on the floor to go and explore and feeds just twice during the day, plus bedtime and nightime. So there is light, but I can't remember exactly when this changed, sorry. Although I know we had a particularly bad patch around 5mo (growth spurt + first teeth).

If he's hungry or wanting comfort at this young age, let him drink. I think knowing you're always there when he needs you, means he will be confident in moving away from you when he's ready. That's my philospohy, anyhow.

Go to bed together during the day? So you can feed lying down and both snooze and rest at the same time?

thats a good idea or even a bath together is quite nice too.

gagrin - I've avoided going to bed during the day because I worry I'd never get out of it. But perhaps I could set the alarm.

no1putsbaby - It's just this has been going on for 4 weeks now, surely my supply is sufficiently boosted?

It's got to the point where if I haven't fed for an hour - because I've deliberately given DS to DH for a break - then I begin to feel like something's missing and I can feel my breasts filling up again.

My DD went through this night and day for the first 4 weeks. Only off the breast for a few minutes at a time unless we were out and she was asleep in her sling.

Gradually by carrying her round the house in a sling, I managed to extend her feeds out and she now goes 3-4 hours sometimes and only cluster feeds from 7-10pm at 30min intervals. She now takes a good long feed at 5 weeks and sleeps happily in a crib or sling in between. She has maintained her 25th percentile so extending her feed times hasn't caused a problem.

Do you have access to a soft sling that you can try?

ajm - I've thought about sticking him in a soft sling but he's beginning to get quite heavy now. Can you still feed a 12 week old in a sling?

digitalgirl I really feel for you as I remember how hard you worked to get BF'ing going in the first place.
This is what I would do if I were in your position ;
As was suggested above, lie down & feed/doze with him whenever possible.
Try & get out a bit more to get him used to napping for longer.
Could it be he is just a very sucky baby? Is he is actually feeding rather than just sucking? If he isn't feeding, would you consider introducing him to his thumb or a dummy?

I'm inclined to think he is taking what he needs, and that even though its miserable and exhausting it certainly won't last much longer - it's not that long til he will be starting on solids! You just need to work out something to help you cope in the short term...(and he'll probably hardly feed at all tomorrow!)

I couldn't last time but DS was 95th percentile and really long. DD is only 5 weeks so not sure this time.

With a soft sling link a kari-me or hug a bub using the basic tie on here it is really easy to pop baby in and out of the sling as you need to. I can feed DD in the sling in the cuddly position but at home I just take her out, drop the shoulder strap on whichever I'm going to feed her on so that its easy to get her latched on and pop her back in afterwards

As for weight, I can carry my 2 year old (14kg) easily in the soft wrap for a couple of hours without hurting my back or getting sore shoulders unlike the babybjorn that we had before

thanks for the link ajm, I've sent them an email re: feeding a 12lb'er in the cuddly position.

jenpet - yes, I'm still so pleased to be breastfeeding that I couldn't contemplate anything other than feeding on demand. But a short-term solution would be nice or daytime TV will have rotted my brain before we get to introducing solids.

I'm probably being a bit thick (that's the tv for you) but how will taking a bath together help? Is it because it's a 'bonding' activity other than feeding?

its a normal phase. my 18wk ds goes through odd weeks/couple days like this, I think when he's either growth spurting/under the weather/ he also grouses to feed when he is overtired. whenever he cries I try a boob first, tbh, just like you. Stick at it, you are doing a wonderful job!

although I did introduce him to the nice 'Mr Thumb' which he sucks A LOT too...

my ds is 12 weeks and was 14lb nearly 2 weeks ago.
I feed him in the cradle positon in my sling. It is a MOBY D Wrap.
He also sucks furiously on his thumb/fist as soon as he has fed, which I mistake for hunger, but when I offer boob he isnt interested.
It is tiring and I feel for you, but like letmeeatcake says you are doing a wonderful job

It is a phase. Babies actually tend to cut down a bit at between 3-4 mths, once the growth spurt has finished!! Overfeeding and feeding for comfort really doesn't happen. It's a bit of a myth. If they're not hungry, they won't take the breast. He is probably just having a huge growth spurt.

Are you leaving him on until he comes off himself? When he does that soft fluttery feeding, it's actually quite important to leave him on because that's when they take all the big juicy fat molecules. This might make him go a bit longer between feeds. Plus I'm assuming you offer both breasts at every feed?

Sleeping as much as you like at this early stage isn't a bad thing you know!

It sounds as if this baby is your first - so IMO you could/should spend as much time as possible relaxing - if/when you are in the same position with no. 2 you wouldn't be able to go to bed even if you wanted so enjoy it while you can.

Kathryn - Thats really interesting re the soft fluttery suckle, I thought that meant he was just sucking for comfort and had actually finished swallowing, although I very rarely take him off - I usually let him come off himself and almost always offer both boobs. Recently at night I've been too tired to swap over but I'll make sure I do this if it means an extra half hour's sleep before the next feed.

It's heartening to know it is just a phase and that when he eventually stops being so hungry there will come a day where he actually refuses the boob! He was born three weeks early so perhaps he's just working really hard to catch up with the other babies.

Thanks for all the advice - I can carry on feeding as much as possible knowing its the best thing to do and enjoy my time with my baby.

I agree with gagarin too I also have a 21 month dd, and so wish I could relax a bit more with ds.
Enjoy it

Kathryn, you say "Overfeeding and feeding for comfort really doesn't happen."

What do you mean by that ? I have a 3 month old baby who definately nurses for comfort (not that it is a problem for me) and my 2.3 year old only nurses for comfort.

Hafta say, I am a bit puzzled, too, kathryn...maybe you meant to say something different?

Comfort sucking is important for any baby, toddler or child who breastfeeds. It's a way of connecting, communicating and sharing love and attention. It's part of how a baby learns to regulate his feelings and his intake of food - if he is fed responsively, like the OP is doing, he comfort sucks (which tends to mean he does not take in large volumes of milk) in order not to overfill his tum if his tum is already full (sometimes babies, especially young ones, get this a bit wrong and chuck up ) \

Many babies enjoy the closeness of being on or near the breast, feeding ad lib, and they may not be in need of the milk per se...so they will feed when not actually hungry, when it's offered. That's fine. It's part of being human, and part of being in a relationship and part of enjoying life. We all drink coffee, tea, beer, wine, eat ice cream...whatever...when we are not actually hungry or thirsty, and often juTst to have a nice time with people we like or even love.

For a young baby who doesn't have a great social life yet, or a variety of ways of expressing love or expressing a need for love, comfort sucking ticks a lot of boxes This can mean some intensive and and extensive mum-baby attention - which is where things like slings come in, to allow some of the other stuff of life to happen as well. These periods of close physical attention are often short-lived - a few weeks is not long in terms of the 20 or so years a kid depends on his parents in some way

awww tiktok that is described so lovely.
God I so emotional these days.
My ds sucks for comfort. I dont mind it at all.
Especially when he has a few sucks and then looks up and smiles. he makes me melt.

No1, I love the smiles too My 3 month old DS has just started giggling and this evening he has latched off my breast, giggled at me eyes twinkling and straight back to nursing...my heart just melts

awwwww how sweet.My ds is 3 months too. They are so amazing arnt they?
I have a 21 month dd too. I remember when she did it, but she was very nosey and used to try and turn around without unlatching (ouch)

my dh says I never put him down. my response was, 'well if he is my last I will cuddle him as much as I like'

Ouch, nipples aren't meant to twist like that...

ITA Babies are made for cuddling, kissing and just breathing in their sweetness.

I have an older baby toddler too, she is 2.3 years old and still nurses. It really helps on long days like today. I actually shouted at her as she was screaming for nothing and my head hurt so much. But back home we had a quick cuddle and nurse and it put us both in a much better mood, helped us reconnect.

DD2 definately overfed when she was tiny, she was one of the babies that Tiktok describes who liked to comfort suck but took a while to get the hang of not drinking loads when she was already full..

Her chuck ups were legendary!

At around 4m or so she found her thumb, and although she'd still have the odd long feed mostly they were 5-10 minutes long and reasonably well spaced out.

One suggestion, you know how in the dead of night you can hear the difference between when your LO is really drinking, and when they are slowing down to a comfort suck? Well maybe see if you can do the same during the day? Then once you know he's sucking for comfort rather than sustenance you can try and introduce something else comforting to give you a break. Thumb/blankie/daddy...