Musings about reasons why people stop breastfeeding earlier than they want to

[Wallace]

I find it quite sad that I often meet mothers who would have liked to carry on bf for longer, but "had" to stop because of one reason or other - these reasons usually being ones that had they had proper support and advice, they could have conitinued bf.

Among my friends I have someone who stopped because her baby fed so often (she didn't realise this was normal) and someone who had mastitis so "had to stop"

I was speaking to someone the other day whose dd dropped a pound after being born, she got worried and started to give her bottles The baby began to gain so she said she regrettfully had to stop bf. She was very sad about it, but said she had to do what was right for the baby not herself

Expat, hope you're OK

I honestly find - personally speaking - endless debate about why people can't/do breastfeed distressing, brings back bad memories of a dark time for me

The person I've had most respect for who gave up b-feeding early was another twin Mum who b-fed her first son fully, but when it came to the twins, she only lasted a few weeks. She said 'it made me unhappy'. I thought that was a really honest answer! No blaming it on anyone else or the babies, just that she didn't want to do it anymore! I really hate the 'baby wouldn't latch' thing, because MOST babies will latch eventually if the Mum gets the right help and support and really WANTS to breastfeed. i think they quite often only try once, and then give up and give a bottle! Which then means they really won't latch becasue they have nipple confusion!

Sweetkitty, everything you say is sooooo true!

'I really hate the 'baby wouldn't latch' thing, because MOST babies will latch eventually if the Mum gets the right help and support and really WANTS to breastfeed.'

Well, kathy, MOST women you see on this forum don't get the right help and support.

They can want to for all Britain, but assuming women who are crying in pain and bleeding and on their own give up because they just don't wANT to badly enough is patronising to say the least.

actually, kathryn2804, prem babies often physically CAN't latch

expat,congratulations on Struan (great name btw) you do what you got to do to get through

unfortunately,the reality is usually inadequate support

do take care

he's a wee stoater. he's zedding away next to me, grunting for Scotland. HUGE hands. built like a rugby forward .

some wee mammy will think he is a belter for her wee lassie a guid big strapping boy

he's fair as day. blond lashes and brows. eyes getting lighter and lighter.

his elder sister is fair like that.

your weans sound bonnie just like the mammy

I will need to see a picture of your weans expat

as the midwife said, 'you were just a carrier'. the first and last are Picts/Vikings - fair and tall. nowt a thing like me.

the middle one is olive-complected and dark-eyed, but her hair is light.

struan's such a stoater, his wee cheeks look like hamster cheeks.

we awwww jock tamson's bairns

dh always calls them 'bairns'. DS is his 'wee man' or 'wee laddie'.

weans or wee ladies here

Ready for a novel?

I regret not giving it a better go. Really regret it. .

I was too embarrassed to ask for help as I was an older 1st time mum and just felt bitter about not being fully informed beofre the birth of my twins. The only 'advice' I got from NCT and HV was phtocopies of diagrammes of tandem feeding. No one know if one twin would have his 'own' boob or if you swapped or what. I had no help whatsoever in hospital when trying to feed both at once and was made to feel a liaility. The look of shock when I asked for a traingular pillow was priceless. Anyone would've thought I had asked for lobster thermidor for lunch.

I was told initially I could not feed with epilepsy meds. It was on the morning of my emmergency csect that the bf councillor assured me my meds were ok so I had not had the chance to research it myself.

I was embarrassed to feed in front of my elderly father and my FIL(my, deceased, mum made no secret of hating bfing even though both my older sister's bf'd). Feeding twins in public was a no no for me as I would be far too slef concious

I got mastitis and thrush within the first 6 weeks. I expressed through the pain so they could at least have one feed a day from me. I also dreaded the boys waking for a feed and used to cry silently, in pain, in the night in case DH woke up.

I had an awful birth and was dehydrated and anaemic for ages. Also had pre eclampsia.

I suffered a few minor seizures due to fatigue.

DT1 eventually went on strike at 4 months but that was probably because I combination fed from about two months. I toyed with trying to boost my supply but to be honest I'd had enough set backs by then and wanted the freedom of letting DH feed the boys so I could sleep.

DD1 still tells DD2 sometimes, 'yer a naughty bairn!'

she can be quite naughty, too.

I BF DD1 for 8 months and loved doing it. I planned to do the same with DD2 but stopped after 6 weeks due to us both getting thrush and the HV only treated DD, not me. If only she had treated me too....still makes me sad, and I'm sure it contributed to my PND.

that is so sad merlypuss

I was lucky I found MN when pregnant with my first.

She was severly jaundiced, had to be readmitted to hospital and threatened with tube feeding, through MN I knew to ask for a pump and express for her, I ahd to do thsi every 2 hours only getting about 10mls or so. She came back out of hospital on EBM and through support on MN we managed to get BFing on track and I BF her for 12 months.

Through reading loads on here about BFing, cluster feeding, the importance of latch, regular feeding in the first few days, sore nipples, Lansinoh cream etc feeding DD2 and 3 has been fairly easy. Oh and through MN I felt confident enough to have homebirths with DD2 and 3 which I'm sure helped too.

I bloodu love MN I do

bairn=east coast
wean =west coast

MERLYPUSS -blimey you had hard times.are you ok now

i carry on feeding becasue of social pressure
i can do it - quite easily but mentally i would be happier if i did not

i am thinking of introducing a bottle of formula for ds who is still exclusively breastfed t 4 months but all i can feel is guilt which adds to low feelings

WMMC makes a great point - you're a freak if you succeed and a failure if you don't.

damned if you do.....!

I'm another one who has MN to thank for successfully feeding DS2 and 3. Two MWs advised me to put DS1 on a bottle at 2-3 weeks because he "wasn't gaining weight"

I've just stopped feeding DS3 at 20m and I am very proud to say that I never took him to baby clinic so after the first 4 weeks, had no idea what he weighed. I was very ill after he was born and my milk didn't come in until day 9 but, again thanks to MN, I knew it would eventually and I just going with it.

Lack of support is the main reason women give up early I think - MWs, HVs, husbands/partners, grandmas who think they know best because they were told to feed every 4 hours, peers, celebrities, soap operas etc. Where are the really positive images of breastfeeding?