Please help me breastfeed this time!!

[stirfry]

I am having DC number 3.

With DD1 I wanted to breastfeed but she was very sleepy for the first few days and just wouldn't latch on, i was very young and terrified so i just gave in to the midwives who told me to give her a bottle.

With DS, I was so determined to breastfeed and managed it for about a week but my nipples were so very sore, cracked and bleeding. I just couldn't latch him on properly, no matter what I tried he never seemed to open his mouth enough for me to get enough breast in and so he was sucking on my nipple a lot.

I just got to the point where I was dreading every feed and so once again I ended up bottle feeding.

Now with number 3 I have the wisdom of my fellow mumsnetters I am so desperate to get it right as this will be my last baby.

Please please help me to do this. I would be so grateful for any advice at all.

Oh sympathies to you - I'm sure someone will be along with expert advice. I've just got going with bf ds3 and its all working out - but I had similar problems with ds1 to you, he was small/premature, and seemed to have no energy to feed.

I persevered with each of mine and I'm glad I did, but I so remember the hard bits! Remember each baby is different - I had no problems with ds2 and ds3. I think getting them on the breast early is critical, as is being ready for any soreness - lots of lansinoh at the ready for me.

Hopefully someone can come on with latching advice for you, I wish you all the very best.

Good for you! You already have 2 massive points in your favour; you WANT to do it, and you have Mumsnet for support.

I had enormous pain for weeks learning to breastfeed my first. I had a week of pain breastfeeding my second. Some people have no pain at all. You have my sympathies. Even if it is painful at first, you CAN adjust things so it doesn't hurt a bit, if you have the right support.

My top tips would be...

Get in contact with a local Baby Cafe - go along while pregnant to meet people and chat to the BF counsillors.

Have BF support counsillor numbers to hand so if things don't get off to a great start you can call in some help.

Lansinoh nipple cream. It is brilliant. Take some in to hospital with you and use it from day one.

Breast pads.

Try not to have other things to do. Tricky when you have other children, I know. Breastfeeding a newborn can be a full time job when you're getting started. If you expect it to take up most of your time you won't be anxious when it does.

Have confidence. You can do it!

Get baby checked for tongue-tie if latch is difficult or painful.

And what others suggested

Buy pillows - lots of them and try lots of different positions to find what's right for you. I have ginormous boobs and have to use a pillow to get them in the right position not to squash the babies and still have their mouths open properly!

Also, ask every single person who is trained to help to help you. For the first ten feeds at last, ask to have your latch checked and make them stay for the first few minutes because newborns bob around a bit and if they have popped off and you can't get them back on it's deeply frustrating if the midwife has legged it. (I strongly recommend investing in a packet of toffees - they take a while to chew so the midwives stay around longer).

It's lovely that you are going to try again and I'm sure you'll succeed this time.

No one told me how painful it would be, so I sympathise. What helped me, as well as what everyone else has already said, was breast shells. My nips were so painful and sensitive I couldn't bear anything touching them, so the shells did the trick. A great MW also told me not to use loads of lansinoh, just a little bit, and rub ebm into nips after each feed. I also dosed up with slow release ibuprofen morning and evening and paracetamol in between.

Am still bf DS now 19 weeks later. Good luck!

fantastic you're going to try again! well done!

firstly, check the direction your nipple is pointing in and make sure that when he / she latches on your nipple isn't bent in another direction. i found that correcting that saves a lot of pain.

secondly, use lansinoh on your nipples after every feed until it's settled down.

thirdly, try to relax. enlist help of midwives and explain that you really want to get this right and if they'd stay for a few minutes you'd appreciate it.

fourthly, i found my back would get sore. lots of pillows are no good because they have no structure and just squash down and fall all over the place. i bought one of these. while they are expensive, i have lent mine out, maybe you could borrow one or buy one cheap off ebay. i found it invaluable with baby 1.

good luck. if in doubt, phone the la leche league. they really helped me this time around.

Find out where your local breastfeeding help is. You may have peer support counsellor, drop-in groups, or post-natal groups. the NCT is very good, and usually have breastfeeding advisors. If it gets sore, get help. it can be sorted just with a bit of repositioning. Plus DEMAND help in hospital and from community midwife to show you how to latch baby on properly. 99% of problems are due to poor positioning

Good luck!!

Thanks so much for all your advice guys. I feel more positive already. I didn't realise that most people find it painful at first, I thought that if I was doing it right then it wouldn't hurt at all.

I am so desperate to get this right, not only because of the health reasons but also because I think it must be the most wonderful bonding experince that a mother can have with a child.

I am definately going to invest in one of those pillows!