Starting to worry.

[kayzisexpecting]

I'm 36 weeks with DS2(if scan is right) and I want to BF. Really struggled with DS1 and he was FF from about 4 days old.

Anyway its not the actual BF as I have done lots of research and have written down lots of numbers for LLL etc.

I'm worried about feeding in public or at home in front of certain people. I was tempted to get one of those cover things but DH said I'd look like an idiot and more people would look at me.

So how do I BF in public so no one can see anything? I've seen so many women do it and you can't tell they are feeding they just look like they are having a cuddle.

Any help is really appreciated.

DH is right BTW.

Two tops, one that can be lifted easily and one with a low neckline or buttons....one goes up and one comes down. Although in the first few weeks at least, you may want to try the majority of feeds where you are comfortable to offer LO more skin while you are both perfecting your technique.

Well firstly I would tell your DH to be more supportive.
I used a cover out in public for the first few weeks whilst I got used to b/f now I do what Accidentalmum suggests and do one top up and one top down. As the covers only cost about £15 why don't you buy one and see if it makes you feel more comfortable. Otherwise whilst you are at home and b/f practice the top up, top down approach so you get comfortable doing it.

my top tip: the more you try and cover up, or try and look like you aren't feeding the more likely people are to look at you!

I second AM. I usually wear a vest top, and another top over that. pull one up, and the vest top down and you get very good coverage.
otherwise a muslin draped over your shoulder will draw a lot less attention than one of the baby tents (cheaper too!)

practice at home, in front of a mirror. you;'ll probably find you can see a lot less than you think. you DO feel a bit exposed at first, but it's likelt that most people can't see as much as you think they can.

i hate to say it but your Dh is right

you will mostly be feeding at home for the first few weeks and once you are more confident, getting baby latched etc you can watch yourself in a mirror and see how to arrange your clothes. i do loose t shirt & shove baby up from the bottom myself but others favour the vest top approach.

winter is good coz you can wear cardigans, scarfs. personally i was more worried about showing great rolls of flab around middle

is there a support group near you? you could go along and see what other women do. honestly its not a problem.

My DH is very supportive. I do think he is kinda right about the cover making more people looking at me.

There aren't any support groups near me. I think they are planning on starting one though.

I'll just have to get lots of practice in front of a mirror. I hope to have it sorted by Xmas when we'll be at my mums.

Kayz, it just takes practice.
Baggy t shirt and cardy combo is good, also having baby wrapped in a muslin.

What you quickly learn is that noone is looking at anyone else really. We're all to wrapped up in ourselves.

Do not get a cover. People will snigger nad point and laugh.

sighs people won't snigger, point and stare. ANYTHING that makes people feel more comfortable breast-feeding is a good thing whether you are from the whap them out school of thought or cover up as much as possible school of thought.

if you are worried, why don't you feed in another room at your mums? just as long as you have a Tv with remote control, or PC or supply of magazines. And plenty to eat and drink too.

its a good time to mumsnet . thats usually why my typing is so bad and i cant do capitals - its one handed while i BF

I might do that Katie. They are in the middle of having an extension done but I'm sure I could go up to my mums room or my brothers room.

I didn't mean to be glib, sorry. Of course you won't look like an idiot but I think covers are an aid to modesty rather than discretion IFYSWIM.

Should say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking you and LO off somewhere quiet for a BF if that is what makes you comfortable.

I also used the 2 tops method - covers your middle as well, and practice like you're in public lots so that it's second nature when you are.

My BIL came over to say night night to dd when he left our house one night. We had been watching a movie and I'd be feeding dd for a while and he peered in and went 'bye dd' then realised I was feeding her and was . But he literally had to get across the room and be standing over me before he realised!!

You'll be fine. Just practice and do it when you're comfortable. And like others have said, have some time to yourself in another room - could be a godsend at christmas!!

hello agree with all above advice but would add the more you do it the eaiser it gets! In the first few weeks can be quite awkward tying to bf in front of people as getting baby latched on and positioned right is a mission in itself (or was that just me?) however by 4 - 5 weeks I didn't find that an issue and was able to bf in public much more discreetly and comfortably. Also there is always nearly somewhere private you can go to feed your baby, quite a lot of stores in town now have alocated baby feeding rooms and when worse comes to worse I would take my dd off to the loos to feed her (which sounds gross I know but needs must!) Anyway good luck Xx

I do think hiding in another room on Xmas day would be great. Could hide from DS1's noisy toys as I'm sure he'll get loads.

Once you re comfy feeding at home get someone to hold a mirror up in front of you. To you it always looks like you are exposing more than you actually are, so this shoudl show you that it isn't a 'technique' just clever clothes.
I bought a tesco smart price vest in every colour, they were a quid each and there was always one that sort of matched my top, and cos it was so cheap so I didn't mind abotu it stretching out when I fed.

I got two breastfeeding tops from H&M and they were fab. They had a discrete slit that meant no-one could see anything. Like pinkspottywellies, I had people come up and go ga ga over DS and they obviously had no idea. A friend thought I was just cuddling him.
I was exactly the same as you when I was pregnant. But after a few weeks of using feeding rooms, I got a lot more confident about feeding in public. I think it is one of those things where the anticipation is worse than the reality.
Good luck!

Thanks everyone. I think if I try to stop worrying about it, it will not be quite so bad.

I bought 2 baby babette cover-ups so I could hide behind them whilst feeding my dd. Only used them once as it suddenly dawned on me that why should I hide it? I only bought them to spare other people's blushes and I found that people didnt stare much anyway, but it took me a while to realise that. I also used a pillow to lay my dd on to feed while at home and visiting friends/relatives which seemed to hide everything from view. Must admit, I tended to use the various baby/parenting rooms to breastfeed when out as I was always worrying that if anyone were to lose control of their boobs while feeding, it would probably be me hehehehe Thats a good tip about buying cheap vests, I didnt think of that (baby brain). Good Luck with it all and enjoy it. I'm down to a breakfast feed only now and I'm missing it so much!!

ChiryGirl's tip is good - but you don't even need the mirror, just position self in front of switched-off television and admire self in black TV s]reen. At least that's how I realised you couldn't see anything.