If you chose not to breastfeed, is there anything you've learnt since that would've made you give it some more thought?

[hunkermunker]

I have Good Reasons for asking, I promise.

I chose not to fully breastfeed my ds1 because my sister was dying and my daughter had just been diagnosed with significant development delays. I know it sounds silly as he was dependant on me anyway but I could not cope with anyone else being so exclusivly dependant on me. I was having to travel to cambridge (we lived in north midlands) regular on emergency visits etc. Also we had people in and out the house with respect to dd, physio, salt etc.

I do not think anything would have changed my mind but I do sometimes feel guilty about it. I know when i had ds2 he just assumed he was fully b/f and I have let him believe it

With dd (eldest) I tried and tried (she was in scbu) and gave up eventually. I imagine with more support I could have continued but feeding her on any level was difficult and tbh it did not get any easier when she was on bottles/weaned etc

I formula fed ds1 and bfed ds2 until about 7 months, and I prefer bottle feeding much more.

However the court of public opinion said I was great for bfing, even though I hated every minute of it. It always felt like a job, not like a wonderful bonding time for me and baby.

I'm still planning of bfing this next baby for as long as I can, but am not looking forward to it.

I gave up with ds3 as my milk didn't come in and I had a 2 year old ds2 and a severely autistic ds1 to look after post section. Severely autistic ds1 started a new school 2 days after ds3 was born and was doing his usual unsettled by new sibling thing of refusing to go to sleep until gone midnight and running around the house until then. Every feed with ds3 was interrupted because I had to go and find out what ds1 was up to. He wouldn't stay in the same room as us.

I knew in giving up that I was increasing ds3's risk of dodgy guts and therefore autism. But I also had to recognise that physically I could not be in 2 places at once. So we protected his guts via diet. I continued to feed as much as I could until I could get literally nothing out and topped up.

Do I feel guilty? No not really. I think I was juggling more than almost anyone else I know. I don't think I had any option. I think someone without experience of life with learning disabilities couldn't really have given very good advice. The problem was juggling the LD's not the bfeeding.

I would have preferred to bfeed tbh because I found it much easier than hassling around with bottle (had fed for 3 and a half years prior to ds3).

But the only way I could have done it was to have someone come in and run around after ds1 until midnight every night and funnily enough there weren't that many takers.

Myds2 was not fully breastfed either for similar reasons to jimjams. I did manage to mix feed him (mainly b/m) for a year though but it was a REAL struggle

Two things:

1. I want an honest answer about thelikelihood of me not still having treatment for a blocked duct 4 months after I gave up breast feeding - I have really struggled with this with just one child and if I have to go through it again with two I think I'd ask for something to stop milk coming in .

1. If could fix 1, I want help doing it either at hospital (where got no help at all) and not repeated calls to nct/la leche who never answered back...this is probably not fixable as I am so not sure what I 'll do next time

and I 'm still having treatment so anyone who can shed any light on how to stop it is a friend for life

watch out hunkermunker, I asked this a while back and got flamed! despite my good intentions

Thanks for all the posts, all.

TIY, I've been flamed for less so am not bothered I hope that people know me well enough to know I don't have evil, guilt-inducing motivations (am sure you didn't either!).

poppy, I remember the awful time you had with your blocked ducts

I suspect you are by now an expert on the subject and have nothing left to learn, but my experience taught me this off-textbook stuff;

1. some of us are much more prone to them than others - goodness knows why. It sucks.
2. pumping definitely resulted in several blockages for me - I noticed a clear relationship
3. lecithin is supposed to help but I never took it reliably enough to vouchsafe its efficacy
4. most of the time, maybe 90% of the time, my blockages were miniscule plugged nipple pores, (note NOT blebs or nipple blisters) and if I popped out the hard little plug, the milk flowed and blockage resolved. These were practically microscopic in size, and could only be located with some extremely close examination. I had one particular site on my right breast which had frequently recurring blocks, and I knew that after popping out the first plug, there would always be two successive plugs to follow immediately afterwards before the breast cleared totally. I imagined that particular duct had 3 narrow locations inside where milk was prone to calcify or something. I have seen practically nothing online about blocked nipple pores - it's all about blisters. I think they are actually more common than people realise.
5. 6 months in, weaning onto solids definitely caused a major reduction in blockages. I think my supply probably downsized a bit and that helped. I rarely get them now; dd is 16 months.

I didn't have half the bad time you did, but I remember how stinking they were and the race against time to get rid of them before they turned into something else.

I sooo hope you are luckier next time.

Poppy, make sure your bra is fitted properly every month or so. Get measured, and stay right away from underwired. Some feeding bras can cause blocked ducts too if they have the section accross the top of the breast. Better to get ones that unhook completely.

Check baby's latch. if baby is not feeding efficiently and does not drain the breast all the way round so to speak this can cause blocked ducts.

Change positions regularly, do some rugby ball, some normal, some lying down. This means baby can drain the breast in different ways which can also make a difference.

If you feel the start of a blocked duct, massage it out every feed, in the shower or bath etc. It should go after a day or two.

Short hi-jack here - apologies hunkermunker scarylittlecarrot are you verylittlecarrot? If so, I want to thank you for helping me with a blocked nipple duct. LackaDAISYcal put me onto some old posts of yours when I had this v. painful black spot with a white centre on my nipple. 'Twas a blocked nipple duct that DD3 had managed to draw up a blood blister around. Your posts were so helpful in getting it cleared, and also recognising it when it came back again (before DD3 drew a blister round it this time).
Ta!!

As you were ladies

Hello, yes, it's vlc! (must change hallloween name)

I'm so glad it helped for you. I'm embarrassingly excited that my specialist geek subject has proved applicable to someone elses situation.

Welcome to the Ping Club. (membership strictly controlled)

thanks scary and kathryn - tried most of those things and more - have had attempts at all those things, mw advice on latch etc, 2 consultants look at it, ultrasound on it etc and conclusion is I'm just unlucky - it started when my milk came in and never got any better hence why I'm particulary about it... its not like I ever didn't have it.

Mind you I am getting used to having a slowly developing golf ball on one of my breasts...