Options for weaning breastfeed 9 month old who simply won't take a bottle/cup

[Groogle]

My DD is 9 months and I am desperate to stop breastfeeding her, but she absolutely will not take formula in a bottle or a cup. I've trawled the archives here, and tried everything that is suggested. She feeds at night, three or four times, at about midnight, 2am, 4am and 5am (I'm knackered!). I don't think she takes much each time, although it probably adds up to a lot, I think it's for comfort mainly. Her major feed is before bed, at about 6.30pm. I've stopped feeding her in the day in the hope that she would take a bottle but that's made no difference.

So, what are my options? I think the first thing is to cut out the night feeds, so is it OK to go cold turkey from say 6.30pm to 6am? I've seen some suggestions to offer water at these times, but seeing as she won't take a bottle, I can't see that working.

With the other feeds, am I going to have to carry on BF until a year? Even if I do, what if she won't take a bottle/cup then? She does seem very stubborn about this, so how on earth will she get enough fluids?

I'm really confused about what to do and a bit depressed about it. I feel a bit helpless really. Thanks in advance for any help or advice on this!

My friend had the same problem and she just stopped breastfeeding altogether. It would probably be a hellish night for you but it took less than a day for my friend's son to take a bottle.

I am really interested as to why you wouldn't be wanting to give your child food during the day.

if you stop feeding her during the day she will be desperately trying to make up for it at night..
she is a baby, she is not maniputative.
what is wrong with continuing to breastfeed her until she is happy to switch?

As Fubar says I would feed during the day - at least 4 times.

My DD was up to 5 nighttime bf (at 10 1/2 months) before I was so tired I couldn't take it any more. I tried controlled crying one weekend and it just took one night. I settled her every time exactly the same way and just went for it. She is now nearly 12m and is still sleeping through.
By the way your DD will be fine!

Now the other problem - I have exactly the same prob. These are the things that other people have suggested so far:
Use a cup not a bottle.
Stick to the same formula.
If you want to keep trying bottles - don't try different teats - just stick again to the same one all the time.
Use a straw.
Best one from my HV - approach from behind so she can't see you!!!
Get someone else to try feeding her.

The only thing that I am having any success with so far is blowing bubbles into milk and getting her to touch them and put her fingers in her mouth. By the way I have carried on BF to nearly a year as I always planned to. I finished on Friday and she still won't take milk - nightmare.

I do hope someone out there has some more thoughts or maybe some of the things I've been told work for you.

I can't be that helpful on this as ds2 "won" on this front - at 10 months I went back to work and he still drank no more than 2 sips of drink from a cup and zero from bottles. But actually he was fine. I fed him morning and night, he ate lots of splodgy food/fruit anyway, he was happy. He needed 4 meals a day though, instead of 3 meals and 3 feeds. Would you feel better about feeding him if it wasn't all night? or do you really want to stop completely?

I would feed her during the day. It sounds to me like she isn't ready to give up breastfeeding even if you are so you need to find a happy medium. Is it because of the nightfeeds that you want to stop? Is your dd in her own room or is she still in with you - and if she is in with you is there any scope for moving her out? My dd3 woke during the night up to a year - when we moved house and she got her own room. That was the end of the night feeds thank goodness! It might be worth a try?

oh and she has to learn how to drink from a cup. Buy one or two differnt sorts (nothing where she has to suck to hard!) and leave them in front of her. Eventually she will acquire the knack.

i'm so in the same boat as you. my little one is 8 months old and i'd like to cut down the breast feeding as i'm convinced his sleep won't improve until he takes a bottle but he has refused every bottle/beaker etc i've tried. his elder brother as the same but by 6 months i'd managed to get him on the bottle and at 8 months he gave up breast feeding and started sleeping through. am finding it even harder this time as i cannot really contemplate any controlled crying etc as my boys share a room and the arrival of number 2 as already ruined number 1s sleep!

Hi Groogle, you could be me! My DD is a month younger than yours, she will only take small amounts from a bottle during the day, and then bfeeds all night.

Like you, I have stopped feeding during the day. I know some on here would disapprove, but I am back at work 3 days a week, and it doesn't seem fair to feed her some days and not others, if you see what I mean. I felt it would be harder for her to cope at the childminders without a breastfeed if she was being breastfed the other days.

I am also thinking about night weaning to see if that makes a difference.

Don't really have much advice, I'm afraid, just wanted to offer my sympathy. I'm sorry you are feeling depressed. I think it's totally ok to want to give up breastfeeding at this age - I would like to, too, just don't know how to go about it!

Have you tried a doidy cup? Or offering food like soup/milkshakes which don't taste like milk to get fluids in?

Hello again Groogle. I have just had a good chat to a lovely HV about this very problem and wanted to pass on what she said to me as I found it very helpful and reassuring.

First of all, you should be very very proud of BF your DD for this long - it is an amazing achievement and you have given her fantastic emotional and physical benefits.

So far, you've always put your DD first. At this age, it might be time to start thinking about your needs too. If you are fine to carry on BF, great! But if you want to think about giving up you shouldn't feel bad. (See point 1 above.)

She feels strongly that a baby of this age will take what they need IF they are offered the right things - formula or water in a bottle or cup, a good mix of healthy solids. So you don't need to worry about starving her.

IF you want to start cutting down on BF, she advised cutting out one feed at a time, at a rate of about one a week. If she starts to get upset, e.g. at bedtime or in the night, could your husband or partner (or somebody else) offer the bottle/cuddle her/walk her round? This could be easier as she will expect the breast from you, but might be more easily distracted by somebody else.

For what it's worth, my DD gets on best with the Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature bottle. (We tried practically every one on the market!) I used the stage 3 teats at first, so that she could get some milk with even a weak suck.

Hope this helps - from going back through the archives, this is a very common problem, so we are not alone!

will a tommee tipper closer to nature teat fit on an avent bottle??

Have you tried just handing her the bottle or cup rather than feeding her? My ds will drink quite happily from either but only if he does it himself.

Before he started to drink from them I just left them where he could reach them, he mostly played with them to begin with but then started taking sips, now drinks a decent amount.