Please talk to me about night weaning. I'm pregnant and night feeds are becoming unbearable...

[overbuurvrouw]

DD is one next week and I would like to let her tandem feed / self wean but night feeds are becoming really unpleasant.

My nipples are so sensitive at night that I'm really finding it hard to feed, I have to fight myself not to rip poor DD from the breast

Thankfully the day time feeds are fine but I really think I need to do something about the night feeds. I've been letting her feed for as long as I can stand (which isn't as long as she'd usually feed) so I suppose that's a step in the rright direction.

Oh, she's teething at the moment (top front teeth). Is there any chance that might have effected her latch?

Indeed. Thank you, I do hate a bun fight. Good luck with your choices too

I fed all through my last preg as my (two and a quarter year old at the end)dd only stopped feeding when I was eight and a half months gone.I wish I had persuaded her more to tandem feed,she said "I'm a big girl and its for the baby"which seems really sad to me now.anyway it did hurt near the beginning when she was feeding loads at night,and again at the end when she was only on one or two feeds a day.I also think the teeth thing is crucial as I am finding now that sometimes it hurts when my baby is getting a new tooth (I am not preg)I think you will find it easier when her teeth settle and as you get more preg.Wishing you all the best!

Op have you tried nipple shields. I haven't but I wonder if anyone else can recommend them.
I feel for you, I am still feeding dd 18 mths once at night an am 16 wks pregnant.

(Incidentally I too have friends and interests and hobbies. Shocker!)

Not sure why Joliegirl has get such a rough ride on this thread. She wasn't saying a 1yo doesn't need breastfeeding as I read it, just pointing out 1yo generally don't need night feeding.

Why the hostility to a perfectly valid point?

Overb, think you just need to stick with it and hopefully those painful nipples will ease off after the first few months.

overbuurvrouw I am in exactly your position, except DD is 20 months and I'm 12 weeks gone. I'm also struggling with the night feeds due to sensitive nipples. I'd love to achieve night weaning, however she is variously teething and suffering a cold. Also if I feed her I can get her back in her cot asleep within 10 minutes, if I refuse a feed we get 10 minutes of screaming, and at least another hour of going back to sleep - plus she's more likely to wake again. I know it is habit and for comfort only, but so far our decisions have been based on sanity and sleep!

Things have got much harder in the last week because I have done my back in and can barely move. I can't lift her and trying to settle her down at night is agony as I have to sit on the floor by her cot for ages. DP is taking on a lot of the work, but often he can't settle her and she just screams.

I'm in two minds about whether I want her to self-wean or whether tandem feeding will be a great thing. I'd like it to be her decision though, if I can hold out.

Hope things work out for you

I think it was the No WAAAY that got people's backs up
If a one yo wants feeding at night and the mother is happy to (working through problems as necessary) then what;s the problem?
Plus she seems to imply that tandem feeding is impossible, unless wmmc is a freak of nature (sorry wmmc ) then she is wrong. Not of a different opinion. Wrong.

Oh and sorry JG you are right that you said night feeding not bfing. Are you happy for people to feed after a year?

I have been lurking on Mumsnet for some time now, having stumbled across it when I was pregnant. I thought originally that it would be really great and helpful, but this thread has prompted me for the first time to say that I think that many of you are truly astonishing and really a bit scary. How bizarre is that? I thought it was meant to be supportive? I can't believe the rudeness and hostility in so many threads, it reminds me of being at school and now wanting to say what you think in case the class laugh at you. I'd be amazed if you thought it would be OK if your children behaved like this ("if not kindly fuck of elsewhere"). Blimey - I think I, for one, will do just that!

I had this problem, but luckily my little one was a bit older and i was trying to night wean him anyway (he was just doing it for comfort by this time) I found letting my dh go and see to him during the night was the only way, he'd let Mark cuddle him back to sleep, but if i went in he expected a feed and would scream blue murder if i didn't. The day time breastfeeds were still very uncomfortable for me while pregnant, but he seemed to self wean then which really helped.

Good luck with everything.

TTIFM
You have a point
But bfing (and ffing for that matter) is very emotive
WHen someone responds to an OP asking for help and support in that sort of way then the reaction is predictable. However, I have just re-read JG's posts in lght of what you've said, and they are not intended as i interpreted them - they are 'helpful' even though she has assumed the only solution is to stop night feeds.

It's difficult, of course it's emotive and I understand that, but I don't think that necessarily means people have to insult each other. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but sometimes it does seem to me that on Mumsnet the people in favour of certain positions believe they own the debate. Anyway, I'll slink off now ... and stop hijacking this thread!

Night - but come back tomorrow!

I found that b-feeding when DS2 was first teething was uncomfortable but after his first two teeth he learned to adjust his latch and it has been fine since.

I fed DS1 when I was pregnant (until he self weaned when I was around 3/4 months pregnant) and the discomfort did wear off.
Was a bit sad that he stopped and I really think that tandem feeding would have helped hugely with his jealousy. He only stopped being intensely jealous of his brother a couple of months ago (DS2 now 18 months).

I would keep going if I were you, try different positions and perhaps just try and pull back on the night feeds, I have found that by taking longer to get round to feeding DS2 at night has meant that he feeds much less often, but at 1 year he did feed quite a lot during the night.

Thank you for pointing out my posts were helpful. What got my back up was the comments about if I was not an expert on tandem feeding then to fuck off. If everyone was an expert on every child related issue then these boards would not exist and there would be no room for any sort of debate. I might not be an expert on this subject but that does not mean I don't have opinions. Same applies to fashion, politics, film, anything........

Stealthpolarbear -ahh come of, be fair now, I am a freak of nature . After all I'm the person told I was 'completely infertile' and I've had four pregnancies and two babies .

JolieGirl I apologise if I came across as rude. I would hope the smiley would have given away that I was gently ribbing you my dear. If you haven't had the tandem feeding experience it can seem weird. Funnily enough though I do have friends, a life etc. too, these things are not incompatible.

If someone decides to tandem feed they are going to benefit hugely, although it is tiring. First of all sibling rivalry is really cut down because the toddler accepts the newborn much more easily. My DD held hands with her baby brother while they fed together in the hospital and we've never had the problems my friends have had with the her feeling she's been pushed out by the baby.

It's also beneficial to mums in the later stages of pregnancy - you get a rest while you are feeding and it causes braxton hicks which apparently tone the uterus and make labour easier (don't ask me, my babies came out the catflap!)

The problem is JolieGirl - as you know from breastfeeding your kids - the general public tends to try and make breastfeeding seem shameful and unnatural (which of course it isn't) and extended breastfeeding even more so. Given than background, we tend to get a bit overly defensive of our own behaviour and try and protect others too! So perhaps we all need to be a bit more gentle in our expressions of views?

OP - have you tried asking your DD to feed slowly and gently? I think I described it as 'like stroking the cat' - yeah I know but it worked.

Also JolieGirl is right that she doesn't physically need feeding overnight - you could work on cutting the feeds down but I would wait till you reach the second trimester and don't feel like death all day and all night if I were you. Concentrate on getting through the next few weeks and see how you feel - say after Christmas. It'll be much easier then (unless like me you spend much of your pregnancies very ill in hospital - in which case night weaning happens automatically! ).

Well put, and i apologise for calling you a freak, although it seems you are a freak in a good way.
Do you have any proper links for the sibling rivalry thing Have there been any studies? DH has been asking if (assuming I do get pg) I'll carry on feeding DS - he seems to think it will make DS jealous as he'll stop feeding as the baby carries on. I've pointed out is that the alternative (from his point of view) is that the baby takes over and he has to stop - which is worse!