So I've managed a year, now how do I stop???

[wonderstuff]

Thats it really, DD is one today, and she is passionate about my boobs, I think that if I let her she'll self wean when shes about 32!! I work 3 days and on those days she doesn't get boobie until bed time, but she also doesn't sleep well in the day. When I'm home she gets a late morning feed then crashes out for an hour or two if I'm lucky, she also gets afternoon feed and bedtime feed on these days. I feed her at night, normally twice or three times, some nights I'm a big dummy and she feeds for hours (feels like it anyway) we co-sleep with dd in a bedside cot. I'm a bit scared that if I stop I'll have a very awake baby, last week when she had general anesthetic she wasn't allowed milk after midnight, she woke at 3 and cried for 2 and a half hours, was awful, she gave me a love bite on my shoulder!

Anyway happy to carry on the bedtime feed for a while, but would ideally like to cut the others out but really worried about her getting enough sleep, is it best to wait a few more months? When do they drop the daytime naps?? Sorry for essay! Any ideas

Bump

Sorry no ideas but bumping for you .

Can i ask why you want to stop? My dd now 2,5 has just about weaned herself (now having about 1 feed per week). Until she was about 18 months she was an absolute milk monster still having at least 3 feeds per day and one at night. There were times when I felt like I'd had enough but now she's almost stopped I feel really glad she came to it in her own time without any pressure from me and she goes down fine at night without a bf and for all her naps. She decided she didn't want to feed to sleep anymore around the time she turned 2 and loves to pull the duvet over herself and settle herself and gets very cross if we try to tuck her in or stay in the room after she says goodnight!

This is just my experience and I'm really glad in retrospect that I waited. I've got no advice on how to stop I'm afraid but unless it's making you unhappy then I don't think you need to change anything.

Also if you're thinking of TTC, I'm 28 weeks pregnant so it didn't stop me!

Okay, first of all, it's fine to carry on as long as you like - I'm still feeding my 2 year old and a 3 month old too. But you have to work out how it will work for you.

At that age, distraction is your biggest asset. When she asks for milk 'ooh look at the car' or 'quick, race you to the kitchen for a grape'. This works.

Do it slowly. We are trying to get to the point where DD only gets BM morning and evening (unless she's sick).

The sleep thing - are you always feeding her to sleep. If so you need to get her to sleep without it - do this by feeding her and when she's sleepy gently remove her. If she cries, put her back on for two minutes and repeat till she stops crying and just settles down. You'll find she soon gets the idea and when you tell her to come off because it's sleep time she will.

Oh and I don't think we said well done for getting to a year. Your 'breastfeeding freaky mum' will be dispatched within 28 days

WMMC- you're right!
Well done wonderstuff!!!! Congratulations and Happy Birthday to your dd.

I was so emotional when my dd turned 1, it really brought back all the birth memories and memories of the early days and how crazy it all was.

Not sure you want to hear this. First stop feeding at night, you must be knackered. My experience is that DD slept much better once she knew there was no milk at night. Did it at 11.5 months but in 2 or 3 nights of DH going to her when she woke she didn't wake any more.. We only left her alone to cry max of 30mins (going in every 1,10, 15mins to shhh and reassure) then DH would sit or hold her until she stopped and put her down again. DD is about to be 2 and since then I can count on the fingers on one hand the number of times she has woken during the night and we had to go to her.

Next step is to stop one feed at a time - offer snacks/water/juice/biscuits/chocolate buttons whatever works. I did one feed every 2/3 weeks. My DD did self wean about a month ago from the nightime feed but that may be because I'm pregnant. DH put her to bed two nights in a row because I felt so ill and the next night she didn't ask for it and I didn't offer. My DD was a milk monster at 12 months and I started to resent it to be honest, also I couldn't get/stay pregnant so that was my incentive.

Thanks for all your responses, the night feeds are getting me down, I don't always feed her to sleep, but she is always drowsy after a feed before she goes to sleep iykwim, at nursery she goes to sleep but at home she'll go down about 11 whereas at nursery its about 1.30, by which time she must be knackered. My mum and mil have been very supportive of me bfing, but both are getting abit now, not that its there decision and all that but I am uncomfortable when dd is pulling at my top and I get 'you'll want to knock that on the head soon' Dh would also like to get his position as primary breast admirer back at some point.
Idontbelieveit that sounds promising, another 6 months I could do...
Shes a very happy confident thing and I'm so glad I have had an AP approach, don't want her to feel rejected (I'm so soft).. Gotta go have tea now, night

I stopped the night feeds by delaying them by five minutes a night. When DD woke and demanded milk I rocked her for five minutes then gave her milk - it worked for us. Took a while but because we knew it was working we were motivated to keep going.

I stopped day feeds when DS was about 8 months but he is still having morning and bedtime feeds at 20months. I didn't expect to BFing this late, but he loves it, it is good for him, and it is no real hardship (although the odd times when a new tooth cuts are a bit draining, as he often suckles all night when that happens - nearly done with teething now!).

I would suggest either cut out the day feeds or the night feeds (day is easier, my DS gets upset if he can't BF when tired, but didn't really mind during the day after about a week) and slowly wind it down from there. Stopping during the day but carrying on in the evening/night stubs out the mother/MIL problem - if you aren't BFing during the day in front of people no one need know how long you carry on for!

On the naps front, my DS started nursery at 11mo, and when at home he would have 2 naps a day, often bf to sleep. However he was joining a group of 1-2yo and the 'pattern' is to have a nap after lunch, with quieter environment. I think for any child to keep to a 2 nap routine they would have to really be good at napping! DS is now 14mo, and has now adopted the 1 nap per day during non-nursery days, sometimes bf to sleep, and sometimes when out in pram/sling.

I've been wondering myself about what to do re bf; particularly now DS has learnt the sign for milk - he's now 'asking' for more feeds than ever! However the number varies from day to day...

whomoved I like that idea, how long did it take? I know what you mean numptymum, my worrry is that at the moment she is shattered after 3 days at nursery and I think she still needs a longer knap during the day, sometimes at nursery she only gets 30mins! I want to give her every opportunity to sleep at home. How much sleep does your lo get now?

My LO would sleep for two and a half hours at lunchtime if I didn't wake her - but she only sleeps about 10 hours at night! I tend to give her an hour and then wake her.

So she was waking (if I remember right) 10pm 12, 3am, 5am and 7am. We started off by moving the 12 till 12:15 and shifted it till it hit 3am. Then we did the same with the 5am to 6am (we've still to get her to sleep beyond 6:30am! ) So we went from four wake ups/feeds to two. Then we dragged the 3am to four and she spontaneously slept till 6.

I think it took about a month in all. The first four nights were bloody awful but after that it was actually quite easy.

My DS now has 1 nap a day, unless really tired/ill; usually for about 1 hour, sometimes less if at nursery - though the other day he slept 2 hours!!

Naps are usually after lunch, but if he's tired he can fall asleep earlier - today he slept from 11-12. If he does this, he's tired later on, but not always ready for another nap. At that point he can be pretty grouchy and evening meals are very trying...

On nursery days he is also tired because he's done so much, plus interacting with other kids.

At night, on my 2 full nursery days he generally bf-s to sleep at around 7 or 7.15, because he's so tired. He usually wakes once a night, sometimes twice, and gets up around 6.30 or 7am. He doesn't always bf to sleep at night; if he doesn't DH takes over and cajoles him to sleep.