Anyone with experience of BF DC2 when DC1 was extended BFer who still remembers...

[UmSami]

Hi all, I may be worrying over nothing here...but somehow I doubt it...really need advice.

I BF my DS1 'til he was just over 2yrs 2months (may this year). At that point I was 3-4 months pregnant with no 2, and was strongly advised to stop bf due to seperation of placenta and contractions...

I am now 39+ weeks pregnant and DS1 still remembers his booby, he still asks for it on occasion...although not for about a month now. I plan to bf DC2, but I don't want this to lead to resentment...

I've heard all the theories about letting the toddler have a go and hopefully they'll quickly loose interest, but somehow I doubt that will happen with DS1...he'd be ready to get going any chance he gets!

I'm not opposed to tandem BF, but DH is...he feels v strongly that 2+ was way too old to BF, and to be honest, I'm happy that DS has developed a better relationship with his dad since he got that bit of distance from me...though he still needs to go to sleep with me.

Anyhoo, has anybody else been in this situation? I'd really appreciate some advice...Thanks.

No, but
DS1 was BF, and is now 3. When DS2 was born he was very insistent that he wanted 'some boob' I allowed him.
Just recently though he asked again. I said that's fine, but my nipples were sore because of DS2 and would he mind having it in a cup instead and we'd have a cuddle after.
Could you try that?

Maybe let him try and if he likes it tell him the baby brought it back and will let him share it. He may like to feed but he may not like the taste now or he might want to feed and like it so you may have to persuade DH it will be a good idea. He might see the baby having it and think it is just for babies, could you get him a new cup as a distraction.

New cup is a v. good idea...as is the sore nipples thing...thats how I actually got him off it in the first place...I explained to him that mummies boobies were very ow-ey (which they were), and it really hurt so could we have cuddles and a cup of milk instead...bless the little possum he accepted it, but asked for months if they were better yet!
I've tried to explain to him recently that babies only eat boobies, they don't get to eat fun things like sausages, and will he help me with baby when she comes...he thought about it and said, this booby baby, this booby me! How do I get this through to a 2.7er!
Really can't face arguements with DP about Tandem BF with newbie exhaustion.

I stopped feeding my dd2 when she was 21 months and I was 5 months pg. I was ready to stop, she wasn't, and it was very hard for a few weeks. I still think she should have been bf longer but I was a bit poorly and I just didn't like it.

Now her little brother is bf she couldn't give two hoots. He is almost 6mths now, but she never minded. She has tried boom booms a couple of times, she doesn't like it anymore.

I think that ds will be our last, and that he won't be rushed off the boom booms he can carry on as long as he likes.

Good luck, and best wishes, it's busy having two close together but so so sweet.

Do you think DH will really be bothered?
Can you explain to him that it;s just a shirt term thing to stop DS feeling pushed to one side?
My DP was not into me feeding our 3yr old at all, but I just said to him eventually, 'Why not'? you tell em why not, I'll tell you why. My reasoning (this could make him feel pushed out for the new baby) won versus his reason (I don't like it).

Unfortunately yes, I think DH REALLY wont like it...I know that if I battle with him he'll be fine EVENTUALLY (well he'll give up fighting and start sulking), but it wont be an easy battle...don't think theres an easy answer for this one

Your ds may have forgotten how to latch on, dd wanted to bf when ds was born and in a hazy moment i think i must have said ok, then she just kissed the nipp;le and giggled.

In fact she is always telling me to put it away as "ds has finished now"

littleducks thats so cute...bless her!
I really hope you're right...BUT over the last month whilst DS has stopped asking for Booby, he has started 'suckling' on my upper arms and neck when he's tireed...not good I feel like a teenager, covered in little bruises! He's not done it in a week, maybe my 'thats not nice, please give mummy a propper kiss' has finally worked

I really expected that this would be an issue for us as ds3 was bf till 2.8 and I weaned him because I was having no luck ttc, he would have carried on quite happily.
Anyhow, our plan for introducing ds3 to ds4 at the hospital went pear-shaped. Dh did phone me in advance but my plan to leave ds4 in the cot and be ready to greet ds3 didn't work out as ds4 chose that moment to kick up blue murder so I had to take him up into my arms. I wasn't bfing him but he was squalling when ds3 walked in and I explained that the baby was hungry. Ds3 just said "The boo-boo?" in the sort of tone that implied that I was a bit thick for not having thought of it myself so I agreed and latched ds4 on! He has never, ever asked for it himself and when I asked him if he remembered bf he scornfully told me he was too big!

Lol! From the mouths of babes eh?!
Thanks for the positive stories...you guys are giving me hope!