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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

My dsis had her baby early on Saturday guess what she was told?

34 replies

MrsMatryoshka · 20/10/2008 20:02

He was 6 weeks early doing really well fortunatley .
Anyway when dsis was in labour the midwife chatted to her about bf and explained all the benefits to her and she decided to do it.
Baby had to spend the weekend on special care but dsis bf him a couple of times and expressed so he could be fed it through a tube.
Today she has stopped feeding him because the nurse on SCBU told her she would get him home quicker if he was ff .

OP posts:

chequersandchess · 20/10/2008 20:03

Congratulations on your baby nephew though.

Original poster

MrsMatryoshka · 20/10/2008 20:03

Thankyou he is gorgeous .

OP posts:

waitingtobloom · 20/10/2008 20:04

That is shocking for any health professional to say but especially for a prem baby (even if they are doing well). Even the less positive studies about breastfeeding emphasise how the benefits are so much greater for prem babies (or formula is so much more of a risk).

That makes me really sad - is anyone else around to talk to her or is her mind made up?

waitingtobloom · 20/10/2008 20:04

Yes and congratulations

KnickKnack · 20/10/2008 20:07

omg horrendous advice, I'm speechless

Original poster

MrsMatryoshka · 20/10/2008 20:07

The midwife who was with her in labour was really pro bf and explained how better it was for prem babies to have bf ,I alos think its shocking for a sc nurse to say this .

OP posts:

tiktok · 20/10/2008 20:08

MrsM - your little nephew is only 3 days old. Born at 34 weeks, breastmilk could be life saver for him - literally.

www.ingentaconnect.com/content/bsc/ash/2001/00000005/00000002/art00007 is just one study showing this - there are many.

It is not too late for your sis to change her mind. Would she do this, if she was aware of all the facts, do you think?

Original poster

MrsMatryoshka · 20/10/2008 20:10

I think she is distressed and wants to get home to her ds1 and still in a bit of shock over going into labour so suddenly .
I am not going to nag at her about bf because of this I am just really at the nurse.

OP posts:

IAteDavinaForDinner · 20/10/2008 20:11

That's an absolute disgrace and although I can see where your sister is coming from it's not a great reason to stop BFing.

She could easily start again should she wish.

I am so sad and angry about the crap these people, who are supposed to be professional and knowledgeable and sensible, get away with spouting. I also feel sorry for your sister because I suspect when her hormones have subsided and she does get him home she will regret this decision, especially having made such a great start in difficult circumstances.

HCPs are supposed to be supportive of BFing, not undermining it at every opportunity. Your poor sister (and nephew) are on the receiving end of some really witless nursing.

Littlefish · 20/10/2008 20:11

My sil was in the transition ward of her hospital for about 3 weeks. She was determined to breastfeed, but found it really demoralising when the babies all the formula fed babies around her were going home because feeding had been established more easily. She had loads of support from the nurses and midwives and still found it hard, so I can't begin to imagine how your sister must be feeling. What an awful, awful thing for the midwife to say to your sister.

Could you get a breastfeeding counsellor in to talk to your sister?

Aitch · 20/10/2008 20:12

with the grteatest respect to your sister, why is possib;y getting out of hosp a couple of days earlier so important?

i just had dd at 34weeks btw, we were in for 9 days, she's doing well now on bm but had some formula when jaundiced in hosp.

Aitch · 20/10/2008 20:14

oh i UNDERSTAND about wanting to get home to another child after such a shock. i gave dd2 to the midwives to top up sometimes so ne and dd1 coukd do some glueing and sticking with a cbeebies comic etc. glitter on the bedspread? who cares?

scarletlilybug · 20/10/2008 20:14

Whilst I can understand your sis' desire to get her ds home as soon as possible, I do wonder whether she'll regret her decision later on. A couple of extra days - or even weeks in hospital may seem like a lifetime now, but in retrospect it'll probably seem like nothing.
You could call it nagging, I suppose.... you could also call it supporting her to bf her child, if that is what she wants. I guess there's a fine line.

traceybath · 20/10/2008 20:15

My DS2 was only 3 weeks early but poorly and in NICU for a week.

My personal findings were that there was a bit of a preference for formula from some staff as it was in plentiful supply and they put a lot of emphasis on weight gain.

I bf (expressed to begin with) and then had to do 48 hours in the attached flat to NICU before we were discharged. You only had to do 24 hours if ff.

The main criteria was weight gain and that is sometimes quicker with formula which is i guess what the midwife meant.

I was discharged even though baby wasn't gaining weight quickly enough but only after agreeing to regular weighings.

Guadalupe · 20/10/2008 20:16

You wouldnt be nagging her, you would be gently giving her the best possible advice that would have such positive benefits for your nephew especially as he is having a tough start.

It isn't too late, if she is expressing she could carry on and still have the option of bf. She is lucky to have you to stick up for her. Congrats on being an aunt.

tiktok · 20/10/2008 20:17

No need to nag - just let her know she can change her mind.

edam · 20/10/2008 20:18

that's horrifying.

(congratulations to your sister, btw)

Original poster

MrsMatryoshka · 20/10/2008 20:22

I don't think it was the be all and end all to get him home ,I just think she has had a very scary experience (she was home alone and her waters went at midnight ) .
I think atm she is taking everything the medical staff and clinging onto it iyswim so if they have told her to ff she is probably worrying that her Bm is not doing anything for him .

As I said she already feels rubbish enough so I'm not going to go in and tell her to start bf again I will mention that she could keep expressing or try it of she feels like it.

I think it has been made out to her that ff will be better for dn so she is doing what she thinks is best for him .

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsMatryoshka · 20/10/2008 20:22

As I said she already feels rubbish enough so I'm not going to go in and tell her to start bf again I will mention that she could keep expressing or try it of she feels like it.

I think it has been made out to her that ff will be better for dn so she is doing what she thinks is best for him .

OP posts:

tellnoone · 20/10/2008 20:37

This is really shocking, maybe you could suggest she speaks to someone else for another opinion? Like the SCBU manager or a consultant? I would be surprised if they agreed with that nurse. In the end, as a close relative you could complain to the hospital if your sister would let you do it on her behalf so that they might take breastfeeding more seriously in future.

madmouse · 20/10/2008 22:06

So was this just one nurse?

Because this is not my experience of scbu, if anything 'my' scbu was very very pro. infant lactation/bf consultant, bf chairs and cushios around, super comfy expressing room, special screens if you wanted privacy bf on the ward...

scbus tend to be pro bf as it is well known that if you have a preemie baby you make special preemie milk and that in general bf is very good for babies and also to help shocked and worried mums bond with babies.

The nurse on duty when I tried to latch ds on after he spent a week sedated in an incubator started twittering about nipple shields to help him latch within five minutes, luckily I had been told by the renown expert who helped me express (Sally Ince in Oxford) that my nipples and breast were a nice and comfy shape for ds (he agrees ) so I told her to leave us to it. still bf now.

madmouse · 20/10/2008 22:07

sorry forgot to make the point I wanted to make: there is always one...

Aitch · 20/10/2008 22:19

specisl preemie milk? couldyou tell me about that please, i'm interested. find the bliss site impossible

madmouse · 20/10/2008 22:35

Aitch i looked in bliss guide for parents not in there. I am sure it is what i was told. remember it as I thought 'well surely I can make milk to fix ds' brain damage then' which got me through the expressing days.

will have another look.

madmouse · 20/10/2008 22:38

here

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