Dh annoyed at 2.10 ds breastfeeding

[Spectregadget]

Two issues really. Have name changed because I am so pissed off with dh.

Ds still bfs at bedtime, then when he wakes at 4/5/6 if we're lucky. I had hoped he would lose interest, but I know he would be devestated if we stopped. I've no idea how to stop, either; he is very stubborn, have tried Dr Jay Gordon's methos\d twice, and both times he screamed for hours, and I mean 2 hours at a time, every night with no let up for a fortnight (not joking) after which I gave in.

Dh thinks I should just stop cold turkey ('it's only like saying no to a biscuit'). Have had lots of conflict about it, then every so often dh gives up and so it goes on.

Last night ds was awake at 4.15 (it has been later last couple of weeks) and I fed him. Dh was huffing and puffing, so I asked him what was up. He said "I am SICK of lying here listening to him suck your fucking tits."

I felt like I had been slapped in the face, I still can't think about it without crying and I don't know where to go from here in either situation. I was so cross at dh that I just said "Well, you know where the door is." I didn't sleep after that, and am quite tearful about the whole thing. Any advice please?

The only slightly comparable cold turkey experience I can give is DD quitting the dummy. She was almost 3, and extremely reliant on the dummy to sleep and stay asleep through the night, with one in her mouth and two others in her two little hands

I threw away all dummies so we were down to one. That one I sabotaged (cut a bit). She tried it and said it was "broken". I said "Throw it away, then" and she did.

That was the end of it. She asked for it at night, I reminded her it was broken and she threw it away. She went to bed and never asked for dummy again. We were amazed at how easy it was!

Moral of the story - sometimes parents overestimate kids' dependence on these things.

We all congratulate you for having given your DS such a great start. But you will stop at some point and that point might as well be now. Breastmilk is wonderful for you, but so is a happy home.

DS was younger than yours when we stopped (just before 2 yrs) but we did it gradually, although the morning feed was the last one we stopped. He also did have the odd attempt to latch on every so often after we had 'officially' stopped - but would come off and say 'milk all gone' and then would ask for milk from the fridge. I was 4 months pg by then tho, and the fact that my supply was dropping prob had something to do with it. I don't think I could have done cold turkey.

I think the fact that you and DH are both being woken at 5am is probably not helping the situation - lack of sleep never brings out the best in me and my DH.

Good luck with talking to DH about this, as his language was upsetting to you. You need to think about how you feel about continuing/stopping bf without that kind of pressure.