Am I normal?

[Bekki]

I was determined with my last child to breastfeed but after two weeks of struggling I became quite ill with a very high temperature and I wasn't on the planet at all. My midwife said that I just had mastitis and that I should carry on feeding through the pain. The pain I was feeling was quite horrendous and I didn't want to walk because any movement of my breasts was complete agony. I tried to explain to my midwife that the pain was far too intense for me to carry on breastfeeding and she said that thousands of women carry on breastfeeding through it. I began to think then that my problem was slightly worse than the midwife had anticipated, but after two courses of antibiotics the pain went but I couldn't regain the breastfeeding. Is it possible that I could have a problem with feeding with this baby? Has anyone else ever thought that their nipples weren't large enough to breastfeed and overcame it?

Bekki, I'm so sorry that you had a problem with breastfeeding your first child, but the good news is you won't necessarily have the same problems second time round. Have you thought about contacting a breastfeeding counsellor before the baby is born? They may be able to give you a lot more advice/ reassurance than your midwife.

To answer your specific point... yes, I was worried that my nipples weren't large enough. They were ( and are) tiny, and the only nipples belonging to other people I had seen were huge! I was worried that my baby wouldn't be able to get enough milk, but I'm pleased to say that my fears were unfounded and I have been breastfeeding for over a year now ( all I have to do now is work out how to stop....). I have a theory that no doubt someone will shout down that the size of the nipple relates to the size of the baby's mouth! My dd has a tiny little mouth. My SIL, who had a dd three weeks before me, had a dd with a huge great gob, and has enormous nipples .

HTH

Thanks Tissy I'm still not sure that my breasts are right for breastfeeding but I'll give it another go. It didn't cross my mind that I would have a problem but my nipples were too small and my breasts were too full to offer any extra skin for my baby to latch on too. I used nipple sheilds for a week the longest week of my life but they would just fall off.

One of the midwifes said I had the smallest nipples she had ever seen (cheeky woman) and yes it was tricky to Bf at the start and I used nipple shiels and have had no trouble until now (see different thread!)

Your breasts, I have no doubt, are completely perfect for breastfeeding. Your midwife, however, is completely useless for her job and should be shot for her unsympathetic, unhelpful approach. The size of your breasts and nipples is irrelevant. The fact that your breasts were full of milk just proves that you were ready to go, if someone had helped you with antibiotics, pain relief etc. If you face problems this time round, ask to see a specialist breastfeeding counsellor or call the NCT or La Leche. I'm sure they will offer you more helpful advice.

Bekki, I was starting to wonder where you were, was going to post on the missing persons' thread.

I am sorry that things didn't work out first time with b/feeding but would agree with everyone else that there is nothing wrong with you but would say that the support you received was probably lacking.

I have had mastitis myself with both babies and it is not pleasant, fortunately I was able to feed through it as I had understood that if I stopped it would be worse. Just to echo what everyone else says that just because you got it last time doesn't mean you will definately get it this time, the only reason I ended up with it second time round was I didn't unclip my front fastening bra properly and it was cutting on one side and restricting the milk flow. In case of any problems this time it may be a good idea to be armed with the phone numbers of b/feeding counsellors, kamillosan, painkillers suitable to take whilst b/feeding and a savoy cabbage. Keep the cabbage in the fridge and pop a leaf in your bra if you feel yourself getting engorged as can quite often happen in the early days, heaven. If you don't need the cabbage you can always eat it!

All the best and good on you for wanting to try again this time. BTW I have found b/feeding this time round far more successful and hope it works out the same for you!

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Bekki, I echo what others are saying - find decent help if it happens again!

Antibiotics are not inevitably 'vital', sorry, Robin - they are sometimes used and sometimes needed, but self-help measures are sometimes useful and always worth trying; anti-inflammatories are an alternative, and they can be bought OTC (check with pharmacist about their use).

Ironically, the use of the shield may have upped your risk of mastitis. Shields can interfere with effective removal of milk, which is the underlying cause of mastitis

Have you thought whether relactating is an option for you - not sure how long it is since you stopped or how old your baby is. Good luck for next time though!

Bekki, you say you're not sure that your breasts are right for breastfeeding, well what else are they for :0 ? In the days before bottle-feeding I don't think that many babies died of the mother's nipples being too small. If they did, then the gene that codes for small nipples would have died out and we'd all have enormous ones!

You seem to have a big problem with confidence, caused largely by the duff advice you've been given in the past. Although midwives now have to promote breastfeeding, I think its true to say that many of them haven't actually done it themselves. The training they receive is inevitably going to be less comprehensive than that received by a counsellor, they have so much else to learn as well. I was "taught" to express in hospital by a student midwife with no children (I asked her), who was unsupervised and had the book open in front of her while she was showing me what to do.I'm sure with time midwives' training and experience will improve, but for the next baby, get yourself some decent advice BEFORE the baby is born. It should be possible to arrange for a BFC to visit you within hours of the birth, if that is what you want.

Unfortunatley I've got the same midwife again, she is absolutley useless and very cruel, when I had told her how bad the pain had got she asked to look at my breasts and then for no apparent reason she squeezed my nipple! I yelled in pain and tears filled my eyes she then looked at me like I as a bit of dirt. Lucky I'm a little bit older and wiser and she will be the last person I would go to for advice. Now I am 3 months pregnant my colstrum has kicked in, this brought back a lot of memories from last time. With my last pregnancy my breasts leaked continuously from 3 months onwards and when my baby was born they just leaked even heavier. I read a lot about the let-down reflex but nothing about a let-up reflex, could this have been the problem? Thanks everyone for the advice, sorry if I'm sounding very scatty and self-involved but I really want to get to the root of this before it all starts again. Demented I haven't written for a while as my darling 2 year old son has been refusing to go to sleep unless its in my bed with me, but the problems been solved thanks to a firm hand from my husband. But now my son is refusing to talk to him anymore, its one thing after another.

Bekki, change your midwife!

Speak to your doctor/ practice nurse, it MUST be possible.

Best of luck.

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Oh Bekki, you HAVE to change your midwife - she sounds a complete witch. Just do it! Think of your baby and be brave. You really seem to have had your confidence knocked, but I'm sure as sure that this time will be different. And if it isn't post on Mumsnet for lots and lots of advice from lovely midwives, mums who have been there & done that and taken the antibiotics and proper qualified breastfeeding teachers, all at the touch of a button...

I changed my midwife about a month before I was due with ds, I just couldnt stand my first midwife anymore, changed doctors the lot and it was a real relief. She was a mean thing, just horrible. My midwife now (although dont see her anymore) is lovely and it was such a difference when I was pregnant with dd.

Your midwife sounds worse than mine was. Your midwife is supposed to be there for support and get you through any problems or worries not make them for you. You can change when you like and it sounds like it would be the best thing for you to do. Good luck.

Just found this thread- both points relevant to me!

I used to have small nipples. After feeding ds1 for a year the right one was very big (he would only feed on the right hand side). Now after feeding ds2 for 13 months and still going the left one is also big (used to be kind of non existent/inverted- now most definitely isn't.)

I've had mastitis 3 times now - twice with ds1 and once with ds2. It really helps if as soon as you get the first hint of it you jump in a hot bath and drape hot flannels over your boob- then kind of squeeze the affected area to get rid of the milk. Do this as often as you can. The first two times I got antibiotcis realy quickly athough I still felt grotty for a while. This time I used the homeopathic remedy phytolacca- and it really helped (I did get antibiotcis as well but I think I dould have done without them- my Mum was there when I got them and she had a breast absess with me so she was shoving them down my throat!)

The first few weeks of feeding can be rally sore- especially if you have cracked nipples (which can lead to mastitis). I remember with ds1 screaming and holding dh's hand as he latched on. It was horrendous. Midwives gave me conflicting advice as did breastfeeding counsellors. One did tell me it couldn't possibly hurt as much as I said (I was in tears). In the end I introduced 1 bottle a day,- much to one of the counsellors disgust (which I eventually dropped), gave up on the left breast, and took it day by day. Suddenly it didn't hurt anymore- and then - wow - what a pleasure. I didn't play it by the book at all- but having that few weeks with one bottle allowed me to conitnue feeding. Then I was able to go back to exclusive feeding. Before giving the bottle I fed from one breast (so the bottle was kind of half a feed).

Good luck this time. I did find it easier 2nd time round although we still had problems. DS2 didn't put any weight on- as he had an undiagnosed (until 6 weeks) umbilical infection. I was told to introduce bottles (which I did- without that I don't think they would have looked for the infection), but again I would breastfeed first then top up with a bottle for the remainder of the feed. Once the infection had been cleared he started to really thrive and I was slowly able to reduce the number of bottles. It took a while as ds1 was just going through an autism diagnosis and to say I was stressed would be to put it mildly (milk supply wasn't great- helpful advice- "you need to relax" hmmmmm) Eventually we got there though- back to exclusive breastfeeding.

So give it a go. If it does hurt then try taking it one day at a time- it does stop. Try finding a combination of bottle/breast/expressing that works for you if you really can't bear to go through every feed (and it will be harder with an older child) If it doesn't work out though- at least you gave it your best shot.