Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

not gaining weight? just give him a bottle of formula

44 replies

fruitful · 04/03/2005 16:09

Ds is 3 weeks old, was born 6 weeks early. He weighs about what he did when he was born (4lbs6), hasn't put on any weight for about a week. He's having what I think is a reasonable breastfeed every 3 hours (mostly I have to wake him up). My health visitor says she will visit on Monday, and if he hasn't put on any weight then "we will have to start giving him a bottle of formula each day".

Now, I know she can only advise, and I can say no... I fought against them giving him formula in hospital (he had donated breastmilk down a nasal feeding tube till I could express enough). And I don't want him to have formula now (lots of allergies in the family).

My question is, does it matter that he's not gaining weight yet? He's not losing it either. And although he sleeps most of the time, he has a couple of alert periods each day.

And is there anything else I can do to help?

OP posts:
fruitful · 07/03/2005 12:33

He put on 3oz! . HV is not quite so nervous now, although not entirely happy.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 07/03/2005 12:36

Hooray, hooray, hooray! Sounds like he's doing really well - congratulations to you all!

tiktok · 07/03/2005 13:07

That's great fruitful - he really needs to keep that up, so carry on doing what you are doing!

To be fair to your HV (who may be undertrained and jumpy), she is bound to be concerned about a baby who was born as early as yours, because we know these babies often don't get bf together without a lot of intensive practice in the early weeks.

tiktok · 07/03/2005 13:09

When is he next weighed?

I would suggest he needs to be weighed at the end of this week, and you'd be looking for another 3 oz, I think.

BTW, he is being weighed naked on electronic scales, isn't he?

Ellbell · 07/03/2005 13:49

Hi Fruitful (me again!)

Sorry, haven't read all the replies as I'm at work and ought to be getting back to doing some. Just wanted to lend you some support and say that imo you seem to be doing really well. Also, you seem to have been given loads of really good advice here.

As you know, my dd was born in not-too-dissimilar circs to your ds (though not an emergency situation, thank goodness). She was 4lb 12oz and was fed by NGT for about 10 days (she had formula down the tube till I managed to express enough to give her). I just couldn't get her to breastfeed. Like your ds she was constantly asleep and NEVER woke up for food. I resisted giving her a bottle, despite some pressure from the nurses in the hospital, and eventually persuaded her to feed from me using nipple shields (it doesn't help that she was tiny and I have quite flat nipples so she found it hard to latch on). Got her home feeding with nipple shields, but like your ds she wasn't gaining weight (she was putting on about 1 oz per week and I was told it should be more like 1 oz per day). It was suggested that the nipple shields were stopping her getting as much milk as she should, but I just couldn't get her to take anything at all without them. Eventually, at 6 weeks I gave up and put her onto formula. I cried for about 2 days non-stop and couldn't bear to bottle-feed her myself for ages. At the time I was convinced it was the right thing to do, but I do wonder whether I was too hung up on the weight thing. Part of the problem when you have a very small baby is that people comment on it all the time, and you can't help comparing your baby to those of other people (I remember comparing my 5lb baby to a friend's ds who was about 2 weeks older and 10lb already, and feeling such a failure...).

When I had dd2 (no problems, placenta behaved itself, VBAC) I was determined to breastfeed her. I did have some problems though (same thing with flat nipples - I got sooooo sore, had blisters on my blisters!) and nearly gave up at one point. But I persevered and finally found some good support (purely by chance - it was a bank holiday so the breastfeeding clinic at the hospital was closed, and in desperation I drove about 15 miles to the next nearest breastfeeding support group which was on the next day, and they just seemed to 'click' as to what I was doing wrong...). I found I could only feed in the 'rugby ball' position. Any other way just led to excruciating pain.

Anyway, I digress... I don't have good advice, but I do hope that you manage to keep breastfeeding if that's what you want to do. Could you try expressing and giving him your milk from a bottle in case he finds it easier to feed that way? This is just going from my dd1's experience - this is what, in retrospect, I should have done with her but I didn't because I was convinced that if she had a teat in her mouth she'd never go back to the breast. In your case you have got breastfeeding established and your ds can obviously do it, so it might not be such a worry.

Good luck.

Ellbell

PS Poxy placentas, eh?

Newyearmum · 07/03/2005 17:04

Fruitful - fab news. At least it shows you're on the right tracks and it's just extra feeds that he needs. Hopefully your milk supply will have increased over the last couple of days so the rest of the week might be easier. Good luck with next weigh in.

fatnhap · 08/03/2005 18:57

ok, i simply have to share my experiences on this one, could write a book on it (going to be a long one here, sorry but feel so passionate about the subject)

i had dd 6 weeks premature and she weighed 3lb 4oz, the tiniest creature i have ever seen. the hospital was very very supportive about breastfeeding (University College Hospital, London) neonatal unit is brilliant and dd was fed breastmilk through tube for a few weeks. She did so well that she was released from hospital at 3lb 10oz.

Came home and had the health visitor visit every week to follow up. HV suggested i give a bottle of formula milk because dd was on the lowest line of the growth chart (0.4%). i wasn't too keen to introduce formula because history of allergies on my side and asthma on dh's side but every week HV came she kept on mentioning formula and the fact the dd hadn't pushed onto the 2% line (making me feel very inadequate and selfish for not introducing formula).

I had a follow up appointment at UCH where I asked the pedeatrician (sure sp wrong, will refer to as pd) whether i should introduce formula, his response ... no, if one can continue with breast than breast is best, especially for premature babies. HV called me to find out what pd said and when i told her it seemed she was a bit offended and said 'yes, breast is best but not where one isn't getting anough calories.'

Next, dd was due for her 6 weeks check up at doctor's and here I was told that she is really tiny for her age, most babies MUCH bigger by this age, and i should introduce formula because it may impact her bone development. I had a panic attack and felt sooo selfish for pursuing with the breastfeeding thinking i may be affecting my baby's physical development.

Decided to call UCH and take advice from pd before giving the bottle. When pd heard what the doctor said she became really irate and said 'oh, for God's sake!!' (which i interpreted as this advice on bone developement is pathetic!) pd advised me not to give anything until hospital had a look at dd. When pd saw dd who was smiling, talking and having a whale of a time with pd, she said to stop weighing dd every week and only every 2 weeks. she then sent the most wonderful letter to my doctor and HV saying that dd is a happy alert baby who is right on target developmentally. She made a point of writing that she advises not to give formula but to rather introduce solids as soon as dd is ready. i have been back to pd again since and now she has advised that dd be weighed once a month! She has been very happy with my dd putting on about 4oz a week and being on the 0.4% line on the chart! She made me feel so proud about the fact that dd has tripled her birth weight in 4 and 1/2 months although she still only weighs 9lb 5oz. What matters here is that your child be growing along his/her own growth curve and not those lines on the chart.

So many mothers give up breastfeeding because they are made anxious about their child's weight gain and those stupid charts, I have been shocked with the lack of accurate information about bf and the tendency to push formula at the first sign of a hurdle with bf. Anyway, hope this helps some of you who want to continue to breastfeed. I also contacted La Leche League who were brilliant and sent me lots of helpful pamphlets.

It all sounds so easy as i write it now but to reject the advice of your HV and doctor and persevere with bf was one of the most difficult challenges in my life so far. I lay awake night after night wondering whether I was pushing my own agenda and neglecting the well being of my child. Anyway, to end this story of mine i think bf poses a lot of challenges but once you have crossed all the hurdles it suddenly all falls into place and works beautifully.

Finally, the lesson I learnt from this experience .... always go with your own instincts and make the decision that works for you!!!

tiktok · 08/03/2005 20:52

Great story, fatnhap....and what a great paediatrician to write and explain her reasoning to the doc and the HV. Mothers of pre-term babies need a lot of support to continue bf.

moondog · 08/03/2005 21:15

Fatnhap!!
A story to warm the cockles of our hearts!!
So lovely to hear it!

moondog · 08/03/2005 21:18

BTW, my MIL (who bottlefed her three-sixties and all that) was 2 mths premature (in the 1940s) and weighed 2 lbs at birth. She told me her mother smothered her in olive oil, wrapped her in cotton wool (literally) and b/fed her, keeping her close the whole time (kangaroo care thingy no doubt).
This was a poor farming family in rural mid wales.
I've no doubt it saved her life.

Ellbell · 08/03/2005 23:36

Fatnhap

Wow! Wish I'd had your paed. I felt so bad about my dd not putting on weight, but also bad about stopping breastfeeding. My HV was supportive. One day she stayed at my house for about 2 hours, which must have made her massively late with all her other appointments that day, while I cried my eyes out about stopping breastfeeding, AND then she also called in on the way home to see if I was OK. BUT practical support/advice? Forget it. The hospital breastfeeding clinic was just as bad.

Great story, anyway. So glad it all worked out for you.

hunkermunker · 08/03/2005 23:46

Fatnhap, that's a superb story!

Thing with growth charts is that some HVs expect all babies to be on the 50th centile or above. Common sense (and maths) should tell them that this isn't the case!

Chooch · 09/03/2005 09:58

fruitful hope all is going well - keep going one day you will realise that you are doing perhaps the hardest but most important thing in your child's life

fatnhap - that's one of the loveliset stories I have heard on MN. I always think I had a hard time to establish bf, but my boy is truely "fatnhap" (8.5 months, still bf and going strong) only wouldn't latch on for first few days and people told me all sorts of rubbish about bf and I refused to give in. It sometime needs a woman to be really determined, dare I say "stubborn", to continue with bf. But when I hear stories like yours and your determination it makes me hang my head in shame ! I had an easy time of it in comparison to you !

fruitful · 10/03/2005 13:49

Thanks for all your advice and stories - its really helpful! Ds is still gaining a bit every day so I'm a lot happier about him. Does most of his feeding at night but hey, he's feeding!

HV has now turned her attention to his lingering jaundice; off to hospital to get it checked out tomorrow...

OP posts:
tiktok · 10/03/2005 13:50

Great, fruitful

Of course your health visitor has apologised for putting you under pressure to give formula, hasn't she ;)

fatnhap · 10/03/2005 16:41

hi fruitful,

dd also had lingering jaundice, 3 weeks in hospital and i think about 4 weeks after we came home. best to check out but wouldn't worry too much.

fruitful · 15/03/2005 16:43

Gained 140g (4.5 oz) last week, jaundice nearly gone, hooray!

OP posts:
tiktok · 15/03/2005 17:07

Good news, ff

samdarling · 20/03/2005 21:32

good for you fatnap and fruitful...I bf my son til he decided at 14 mths he'd had enough. I am now bf DD 9mths. She will only feed morning & night - if I attempt during the day she usually bites me and then laughs so I dont bother. I dont give bottles cos I just make sure she gets calcium other ways. I too had HV "concerned" about her weight when she was 7 mths old. She is only on the 21st centile (doesnt that chart annoy you!) HV concerned not putting on enough weight and suggested I offer formula. HV wouldnt measure her height (v v long)or take into account the fact she was already crawling and pulling herself up. V active & long probably good indication why not very heavy. Fortunately saw different HV last week who said no concerns for DD. Good job I felt confident enough to ignore 1st HV.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page