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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Why do I feel so crap about giving DS a 'top-up' bottle of formula?

48 replies

Mum2Ela · 03/03/2005 21:27

I don't know why, I bottlefed DD, but DS is 4 mths now and he is still feeding 2-3 times a night and I am knackered. I think he is getting a bit used to me feeding him in bed and him falling asleep. Whe I move him then he wakes up and wants to feed again.

So I am going to give him a bottle of formula for his last feed of the day.

The other reason I am doing this is because its becoming more difficult to express. Somtimes I only get half an ounze. Its really not worth it. So when he has his formula feed I will express that feed for the freezer.

God, I feel really crap about this. Why do I feel like I have to justify it to myself?

OP posts:

Original poster

Mum2Ela · 03/03/2005 22:55

Wish DS would suck his fingers, wouldn't need to root around the cot then looking for his dummy (which is someitmes stuck to the back of his neck!).

Both mine have been quite 'sucky' babies. Its only because DS is breastfed and DD wasn't, and that I have heard breastfed babies shouldn't need a dummy that I am all uptight about whether he just wants a suck or a feed.

When I go to bed tonight I will make a conscious effort not to pick him up as soon as he stirs. Will let him have a bit of a moan first but try to settle him by giving him his dummy / 'ssshhhh-ing' him. And I won't let him get into bed with me, will feed him sat up (note to self: wear clothes to bed!). Does that sound like a good plan?

BTW, good thinking about DH settling him. I do send him up in the evenings soemtimes if DS wakes, but I feel guilty making him do it in the night as if DS is hungry then, we are both awake!

OP posts:

Original poster

Mum2Ela · 03/03/2005 22:59

moondog my DS is gorgeous during the day too. Its hard, isn't it? I don't mind feeding him up to 3 (4?) times during the night but it would be nice to have some decent kip. Don't get any peace at all during the day either as DD (2.5 years today!) has recently given up her daytime nap. Would rather keep busy anyway as I feel like if I start to slow down I will stop altogether! Just get a bit emotional sometimes, y'know?

OP posts:

HunkerMunker · 03/03/2005 23:02

Yes, that sounds like a good plan hun. But remember that if it all goes wrong and you need to bring him into bed with you, just do it and don't beat yourself up about it. Also don't worry about a breastfed baby having a dummy - he's obviously happy with it, it's not affecting his feeding and if it works for you both, don't fret.

I remember feeling like I'd never sleep for longer than 2 hours when DS was about three months old, then (with great presence of mind for one so sleep-deprived, I think now!), I thought that there'd be a time when I missed having a tiny baby to cuddle in the middle of the night - all to myself, all peaceful, just sucking and nuzzling me. And do you know what? I'm beginning to miss that now, hence my name appearing on ttc threads

Definitely try to get DH to settle him though - making him feel very important for being the only one who can settle DS is a good way to do this Who says men are like five-year-olds?! LOL!

(Moondog, my DS is 11 months old today!)

moondog · 03/03/2005 23:02

I know mum2ela. It's tough isn't it? I'm a bit worn out, as am alone with a 4 yr old dd and ds. Never seem to stop. Yet when I'm with dh (abroad) it's just as hard as he works long hours, I don't know many people and it is very cold so we are stuck in.
Feel as if I've basically been alone since dd's birth!!

moondog · 03/03/2005 23:05

Happy 11 mth birthday to your little one hunker!!!
Ooooooh, after another?! I didn't know that. Good luck.

If I do let him suck, I limit it.Look at the clock and say 'right,he can have 5 mins'That seems to do the trick as i remind myself it will all be done and dusted in 10 minutes.

Original poster

Mum2Ela · 03/03/2005 23:08

moondog, you speak welsh? Do you live in Wales? I'm in Cardiff.

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moondog · 03/03/2005 23:13

Of course!!! Do you?
I'm in the north, and Turkey too of course.
Cardiff...very groovy place these days!

moondog · 03/03/2005 23:13

Of course!!! Do you?
I'm in the north, and Turkey too of course.
Cardiff...very groovy place these days!

Original poster

Mum2Ela · 03/03/2005 23:18

Don't speak the lingo, no. Cardiff rocks.

Turkey?!

OP posts:

moondog · 03/03/2005 23:22

Dh working ther on big EU project for three years so we're all back and forth. Good fun but a bit wearing.

mears · 04/03/2005 09:17

Mum2Ela - on the expressing frong have you tried just whipping off 1-2 oz throughout the day?

I expressed for a breastmilk bank and what I used to do was express milk off any time I had a spare 10 mins or if I felt fairly full. Didn't matter if I expressed just before DD woke to feed because the breasts are never empty and she alsways got milk.

I used to keep a bottle in the fridge and would add any milk I'd expressed thoughout the day (once it was cold in another bottle). It is amazing how it actually builds up. I froze it in 4-6 oz batches depending whether it was for DD or milk bank.

Having read your posts it does seem like a sleep problem rather than a hunger issue. DS does not need formula but probably not B/F so quickly. Definately get DH to help at night.
If you up the expressing perhaps he could do a feed during the night to let you get a longer stretch?

moondog · 04/03/2005 10:24

'whipping off'!! LOL Mears!
God, wish I had that much spare. It's like gold dust here! Would love to donate to a milk bank but not an oz extra. Never even leaked a drop in my life!!

mears · 04/03/2005 10:40

moondog -remember the more you feed/express, the more you make

Original poster

Mum2Ela · 04/03/2005 16:10

Hi Mears.

TBH I find it really difficult to find time to express - it has to be either in the morning or in the evening (me, DD and DS have very busy social lives together during the day!), and atm in the morning (when I did used to express - felt most full then) I am so knackered the most I can do is get myself into the shower, let alone up before the children to express.

Also, if I have expressed and then DS wants to feed, he seems to get agitated. He must get milk of course, but I don't feel the let down again that I felt if I have just expressed, and DS doesn't do the long slow sucks iyswim. Then he just fusses and cries.

Last night when he woke during the night (and he woke at 11.45pm, 1.30am, 2.45am, 5am) I didn't pick him up and nurse him straight away, but after about 15 minutes each time (and he was wide awake by then) I did feed him but put him staright back down again in his cot, not in with me. I am pretty sure each time he was hungry.

Tonight I think I might move his cot into his bedroom. If he does wake then and he isn't hungry,he may get himself off to sleep?

BTW, he rolled over for the first time today!

OP posts:

mears · 04/03/2005 18:21

Congratulations on the rolling over

I can understand expressing can be a hassle - I found it so much quicker when I mastered hand expressing. No equipment required and very quick. Like you I was pretty busy with 3 other children but snatched time inbetween nursery/school runs etc. I was really lucky in that I found it very easy.

Moving DS into his own room may well help - worth a go anyway. Hope you get a break soon

Original poster

Mum2Ela · 04/03/2005 19:08

thanks mears. i did hand express last night as i think i have broken my pump - not sure how but there didnt seem to be any suction - and got 3 oz off.

i should be able to find time to express, only havin 2 children, if you managed with your brood! btw, sorry about bad punctuation, glass of wine in one hand!

thanks again mears.

OP posts:

HunkerMunker · 04/03/2005 19:11

Was the non-return valve in properly? I've found mine sometimes pops out of place and I have to resite it.

Congrats on the rolling over - clever boy!

Original poster

Mum2Ela · 04/03/2005 19:26

hunkermunker - is that the little white star-type thing or the rubber round thing (iyswim?) - I will have to check . . could well be it! Thought for a minute my boobs were broken ;)

OP posts:

HunkerMunker · 04/03/2005 19:30

It's the star-shaped thingy - I put it in the wrong way up once (from the top of the pump rather than from the underneath iyswim) and that doesn't work at all!

Your boobs sound like they're working just fine - 3oz hand expressing is very impressive!

chipmonkey · 04/03/2005 19:55

hunkermunker, is that def OK to re-use the pupmp between expressings? Cos I always brought 2 sterilised pumps to work. Am I stupid?

Tissy · 04/03/2005 20:00

no, you're not stupid, but you don't need to use 2 sterile pumps. I used 1 pump, which I kept in a cool bag, and expressed 3 times a day at work (long day!). I froze the milk as soon as I got home, and never had a problem.

chipmonkey · 04/03/2005 20:04

good, so my Back-to-work breastfeeding bag needn't actually be bursting at the seams! Good to know, thanks Tissy

chipmonkey · 04/03/2005 20:07

Sorry, Mum2Ela, I sabotaged your thread. Rude of me!

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