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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

How do you BF discreetly?

51 replies

lollipopmother · 09/10/2008 17:21

I am hoping to start getting out and about a bit more and the only thing that is stopping me is that I just can't seem to BF my DD (3 weeks old) without getting my whole boob out, well in fact most of the time both of them end up out of my top, along with half of my stomach! There is obviously something I'm not doing right here!

So, what is your method for discreet feeding so that I don't get arrested for indecent exposure!

Thanks.

OP posts:
Housemum · 10/10/2008 00:17

i found bf tops a waste of time - Agree with all who say up-and-under - I wear t-shirts or stretchy (but not skin-tight) tops. If I'm out I usually wear a loose cardi or jacket to cover any flesh at the sides - I slip my hand up to unclip the bra, then hold her close, whip the top up and pull the bra cup down. I know I'm discreet as a woman sat next to me on the train and it was only when I sat DD up and she burped that the lady asked if she'd just been fed.

OneLieIn · 10/10/2008 00:20

I don't know what these things are called, but it is like a pinny that you attach round your neck. It has half a hoop at the front so that it sticks out away from the body. It covers you totally, you stick baby under it and looking down through the hoop bit you can see everything.

My american friends swear by them.

TinkerBellesMum · 10/10/2008 00:21

It's a Hooter Hider.

egyptianprincess · 10/10/2008 00:25

i LOVE my hooter hider- best thing I ever bought!

Maggieb52 · 10/10/2008 00:30

Here is a picture of the apron thingy

Balthamos · 10/10/2008 00:38

Oh no. Just read this and am blushing. I am definitely a hoik them over my top kind of lady. I was SOOOO discreet to start with - and don't know when all that went by the wayside .

If you google 'Maggie Gyllenhall breastfeeding' there are some pics of her bfing there and i think they show how even 'hoik em over' stye breastfeeding, doesn't look that bad, just practical!! So take heed, there are people like me and maggie out there so you can only be more disceet than us!!

Keep practising at home and you'll soon find a way that works - a little routine so that when you are out you are confident with however you do it. I think that is key in the early stages, because if you are not confident, you'll get flustered which will stress you and your baby out (or so i found in the early days). Muslins are a good thing to have to hand - and winter is coming, so a cardi to hand will come in useful to drape over you too.

Whichever method you find works for you, good luck!

Maggieb52 · 10/10/2008 00:53

I would love to be that confident in public. My boobs were way bigger than the baby's head though so ....... poncho thingy all the way. Good luck and get em out girl!!

TinkerBellesMum · 10/10/2008 01:02

Maggie, I'm a 34H and my daughter was 4lb 2oz born. I remember the first time I put her to the breast, I'd looked forward to it for ages but didn't think about the logistics! As the nurse brought her closer her head seemed to shrink and my boob grow!

KristinaM · 10/10/2008 01:16

i find the vest under T shirt too hot most of the year

i just wear a looser fitting t shirt or top. slip my hand in the neck to unclip and shove baby up underneath the t shirt. needs to be loose enough so it drapes around the child's head, not a top you need to roll up exposing( in my case) fat around middle

easier when baby is small and doesnt try to undress you to get a good handful

TinkerBellesMum · 10/10/2008 10:28

I was wearing maternity jeans for a long time because normal jeans put too much pressure on my scar and I wore maternity tops (tried to avoid the slogan ones lol) as they give plenty of cover. The jeans kept my belly covered and the tops kept my boobs covered.

Original poster
lollipopmother · 10/10/2008 20:11

Thank you all so much for your replies, I am trying the up and under today and I can see how it might work! I think I'll invest in a cardigan as well as I seem to still manage to get a lot of side-boobage on the go!

Thanks for the links as well, definitely some good ideas there.

Mouse - The dummy was indeed given to us in hospital, and then of course by the time I had got my own she wouldn't take them, so my DP ended up scouring the internet for the exact same type, made only in America apparently! He bulk bought whilst he had the chance, we now have 4!

OP posts:
Housemum · 10/10/2008 21:15

Glad to see you're getting the hang of it! It does get easier as they get bigger (the baby not the boobs!) - I found that after 2 - 3 months she was very much getting herself on properly with very little assistance from me other than to hold her head in the right place. She's now 9 months and I just plonk her there and slip my top up just enough - managed on the way to and from London today without attracting any comments or attention. Also, sometime around 3 months (I think, memory not that good...) I realised that I didn't leak any more - don't know if everyone's like that, perhaps you still leak if you have a strong let-down, but I don't need breast pads any more which helps a lot too. (No danger of one flying out...) Occasionally if I'm v late feeding her I get a bit of a tingle in the non-feeding boob, but I just push against the nipple with my arm/wrist and it goes away.

madmouse · 10/10/2008 22:22

Teehee about the bulk buying, I ended up reading the name off the dummy, feeding it in google and finding one single website selling them. they look insane but are especialy designed to help stimulate sucking action which is why hospitals have them.

MrsJamin · 11/10/2008 09:51

Congrats lollipopmother. Definitely do the 'two top trick' - just tuck a vest into your jeans/skirt and you won't risk exposing any belly. The only time this doesn't really work that well is summer as it's very hot to wear two tops - I think I should have bought a couple of BF tops for this purpose but it's a bit late now!

Original poster
lollipopmother · 11/10/2008 18:11

Madmouse - I didn't know that about the dummies, I feel a bit better knowing that seeing as how ridiculous they look! We now have three in a fetching bright pink colour and one orange one - the ones I had bought pre-birth were lovely and see through and couth!

OP posts:
mrsleroyjethrogibbs · 11/10/2008 18:14

i dont.
if you are feeling a bit shy then try a bellyband which will cover up your belly and keep a baggy top on

labebete · 11/10/2008 18:29

sure everyone has said this but I was queen of muslins over my shoulder - it seemed to help my fussing boy to concentrate too. also wore nothing but bfeeding bras for the entire time. I do think that you should be able to whip your boobs out whenever and don't mind anyone else doing it but I felt more comfy that way.

UmMwahahahaaaaa · 12/10/2008 15:02

I can't seem to do up-and-under and so I hoik my boob out the top too (lots of wrap/v-neck/low tops). I usually have a cardigan or shawl top, and sometimes drape a muslin over the top too (hook it in my bra strap). But I am rubbish at being discreet. Not political, I just wanted to get latch right in early weeks - and feeding my baby more important.

Also, tops always seem to ride up with me - and my tits are far nicer than my stretchmarked, wobbly belly

mytetherisending · 12/10/2008 15:15

sorry I am coming late to this! My method was

  1. wear a feeding bra and loose/feeding top.
  2. Undo the clip of your bra through the neck hole of your top (as opposed to under)
  3. I pull my top up from the middle of my cleavage and pull to the feeding side once LO is positioned lying to feed. That way she covered my front lower stomach.
  4. Slide your hand from the middle towards the feeding boob and move the bra down, latch on and away you go.
I found by lifting the top in the middle and pushing it to the side it didn't ride up at the side so much as more material was left iyswim (more taught across the front which was covered by dd.

Good luck!

SummerChicken · 12/10/2008 15:32

lollipopmother, I wear a short top with a shirt/cardi over the top. Unclip nursing bra, get baby in position, push up top and latch baby on, nobody can see anything. In theory anyway. Unfortunately curious baby tends to pull off and swivel head round while simultaneously pushing top right up. But tbh I was really shy to begin with and now don't give it a second thought as I have never ever seen anybody looking at me and I'm sure a crying baby would attract a lot more attention!

JaneLumley · 12/10/2008 18:55

A good sling really helps. I used to feed dd during the school run and supermarket shop in mine. Look, no hands, even!

Libra1975 · 12/10/2008 22:02

I have 2 methods, the vest under a normal top as people have described here but in summer that can be too hot so I also have one of these www.babybabette.co.uk/
which folds up small and I can just stuff in my handbag.

littlelamb · 12/10/2008 22:07

O Libra pmsl at woman feeding cuddly lion

LeonieD · 13/10/2008 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MummyValentine · 09/12/2008 17:55

I'm not really bothered about "onlookers" or what they think, so few people actually look at what you're doing anyway. I have a few breastfeeding tops and dresses that I got from www.bellamama.co.uk so I just use them. I couldn't do the button down shirt thing like Maggie Gyllenhall though, my boobs are far too big!! That really would be indecent! I would rather cover up my post-baby tummy than my boobs, which is why I prefer bf tops to baggy tops that don't cover my podge and do nothing for my self-esteeem!! I ditched my maternity tops after I gave birth, nothing more depressing than putting my maternity stuff back on (!) and just wear lots of camisoles with cardis/jumpers over the top.
I have seen some quite nifty bf solutions recently for new mums bf whilst out and about. www.mamascarf.com and www.thrupennybits.co.uk - has anyone used these?

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