i gave dd some formula today, please tell me i did the right thing

[beforesunrise]

i am exhausted, she wakes up continuously throughout the night, deep down i know that it's got nothing to do with being hungry but i thought i'd give it a try as everybody seems to think it will make things better.

so i gave dd2 (21 weeks) a 90mls top up.

i am not anti-formula per se, and want to wean her off the breast eventually, just so tired and sleep deprived i don't know right from wrong.

please tell me i am not a bad mum

Of course you aren't a bad mum. Did it help her or you though?

of course you're not
you could try other thgings when you're not so shattered but for now its ok, if it works

I mixed fed my DS very successfully. I had a very bad pregnancy and birth and he ended up in the Special baby unit for a week so consequently did not get the best start on BFing and I was totally exhausted. Also had a poor milk supply. So he had two bottles of formula during the day as well as a top up during the night after I'd bf. I fed first thing, midday and at bedtime. It worked for both of us. Second time round was much better for me and managed total bfing for DD. Do whatever is right for you both. Don't feel guilty about it. Your baby needs you to be fit, well and not totally exhausted, if topping up with formula helps, do it!

Absolutely not a bad mum - I'm deeply impressed that you've made it until now to think about any sort of formula, that's a huge achievement, so make sure you hold onto that

fwiw it was only when I started mix feeding (1 bottle at 10.30pm) ds at 19 weeks that he even thought about sleeping through, but it can upset their tummies at first, so perhaps prepare for a little more wind for a few days if this is something you plan to continue with. Also I did that with the full knowledge that I was going to stop bf at 26 weeks, which had always been my plan

ps - and I successfully mix fed until 26 weeks as planned

pps - have decided that my point re wind was not particularly helpful, given you're already worried. It's only a possibility, so please disregard that unless it becomes relevant - sorry about that, was trying to be too helpful

thanks guys. dont know if it's helped yet- but she hasnt turned purple or anything like this yet

puppster- i am fully aware of the wind possibility, hence why i am starting slowly and not first thing at night.

we shall see.

i guess i had these visions of perfect beatific mum bfeeding easily a peaceful baby for 26 weeks exactly. and that was probably just silly.

I successfully mixed fed too, I was very poorly after I had my baby and went downhill again when my baby was around 17/18 weeks so I started mixed feeding - it gave me a break when I could nap and helped me continue to breast feed longer. If I hadn't done that I think he would have been fully formula fed from 17 weeks! Do you have anyone who can give her the formula? It would just let you rest for half an hour (even if during the day - hot drink and a magazine in peace!) - this was a real lifesaver for me.

Hello - I felt very reluctant to start mixing formula with bf and refused to listen to those who advised me to do so. However, my dd has had one bottle per day from about 14 weeks and she seemed much happier since. I love bfeeding and would liked to have done this exclusively until weaning - but that was not the reality for me. Dd now on three solid meals a day plus 3 short bfeeds during the day and one bottle before bed. It just has to be what you feel is right for you and your baby.

I'm sure you absolutely did the right thing if you were exhausted, and if it helped you to get more sleep. YOU ARE NOT A BAD MUM.

However, if you're keen to bf exclusively, you need to view this as a "just buying time / saving sanity" option, and not let it be the start of a slide. Of course if you are fine with starting mixed feeding, that's great too, but if you think you would feel bad if she were not exclusively bf, then just look on this as a one-off and carry on bf tomorrow as normal.

Does that make any sense?!

If she had nothing but breastmilk for 21 weeks, she's had more than the majority of babies in this country and a great start. well done.

Are you expressing at all, to stimulate milk production and give you something else to top her up with?