breast feeding well but 11 week old won't take milk or water from bottle or cup help been trying since six week old!

[Emma0802]

i've been trying to get my 11 week old daughter to try a bottle since six weeks old so i can express and leave her with her grandparents so me and my husband can go out for the evening but she won't even intertain the idea. have tried various bottles and teats and also cups but she spits it back. at wits end as going back to work soon and couldn't face it knowing she'd scream house down! Help
anyone?

Emma, first tip is to stop trying

Then try again in a few weeks time when your baby has forgotten she hates the cup and bottle.

There are other tips but this is, in my experience, the main one!

If you really want to do this I think you have to be a bit tough. I do not think it is fair to a child to try to get them to accept change, to make them cry and then to give in. So if I were you I would give the bottle to my DH and leave the room (or the house if necessary) and give them a couple of hours in which to get on with it.

Yes, your daughter will cry but eventually she will take the bottle. She is certainly not going to take it if she thinks that there is something better on offer and that you will give in.

Personally I would think it is better to deal with this now than when you go back to work, since that would be v v stressful IMO.

I know it all sounds a bit harsh but if you really need her to take the bottle it is the quickest way IMO.

Unituber - I have to jump in here and say how much I disagree, sorry.

You are making this into a disciplinary issue with a tiny baby.

You are also making an entirely wrong assessment of the way an 11 week old baby can think things through logically - the baby can certainly not think 'I will make a fuss because last time I did this, mum gave in and breastfed me'. This sort of thinking is way beyond the capacity of a young baby. They remember sensations, and the baby who cries at the bottle will remember the struggle and confusion from last time, and will cry again.

Babies of this age cry because they are distressed and confused and frustrated. My suggestion - to wait until the baby has forgotten this sensation - is kinder and more in keeping with the limited understanding we know babies have at this age.

To leave a baby to cry is 'harsh', I agree with you. It may even end with 'success' - if an exhausted, distressed and thirsty/hungry baby succumbing in despair is defined as 'success'....

I've had no success and given up after 3 wks, but other suggestions I had were:

• let baby 'play' with bottle with bit of expressed milk in when they aren't hungry or tired, so it becomes an interesting and fun thing for them, with lots of eye contact and play from adult at the same time. I did this and baby loves the bottle, just physically can't drink from it, annoyingly. But it would make it a more pleasant association for the baby.

another friend tried everyday at the same time for 4 wks before baby took bottle (again, not hungry, tired baby).

At least for my dd its not that she 'won't' take the bottle - she just can't - the way she uses her tongue when she breastfeeds seems to make the teat flick out, so she gets annoyed as well. I hope you have more luck than I did (though I didn't have to go back to work so probably didn't do it enough or consistently or something).

Tiktok,I definitely agree that a tiny baby does not think logically, but it is my experience that my daughter was initially far less likely to take a bottle when I was around and I rather suspected that was because I had the breasts! Going out of the room and letting my DH or mother get on with it was very helpful (and actually she cried a lot less when I was not there).

I certainly do not think there is any kudos in making a baby cry. But I also know that there are times when you need a baby to accept change - when you are planning for going back to work it becomes pretty crucial.

Actually I really like kayjayel's suggestion of letting the baby play with the bottle to make friends with it. It sounds rather stress-free.