Night Weaning - is 8.5 months too young?

[ChairmumMiaow]

I'm knackered. We've managed to get DS down to 2 feeds a night, with the odd other wakeup where DH settles him, but I still rarely get more than 3 hours sleep in one go, and rarely manage 7 hours in a night, unless I go to bed stupidly early. And I won't even start on the days when he decides that the day starts at 5!

I'm coping, but am finding it really hard to keep going now I'm back at work 2 days a week. I hate that DH gets his sleep but I don't (I'm BF). We tried a bottle of expressed milk, but he would only take 3oz and then woke 2 hours later and had a reasonable feed.

An added complication is that DS doesn't eat a massive amount of solids (although he does eat 3 meals a day now, amounts vary) and on the days I'm at work, he often goes without milk between 8.30 and 4. (when he'd normally have at least one good feed, if not 2) so I worry he really needs to make it up at night.

So am I being selfish and he still needs his night feeds, or if I stop feeding him (we'd probably have DH settling him) will he just make up for him in the day and be fine once he gets used to it?

I would say he feeds in the night because he can. If he can't then he'll eat more (milk or solids) during the day.
I was convinced dd was hungry in the night as she kept waking up but last week I was so tired dh took over for a night and said he would only call me if she was desperate for food. she coped, woke twice, but went back to sleep with a bit of patting from dh and I ended up waking her to feed her at 7.30 before my boobs exploded.
Obviously there is nothing wrong with night feeding if it's what you want to do but if you've had enough why not give it a go for a night or two. My guess is he'll stop waking for food within a week.

My dd was waking 2-3 times at that age. I wanted to give up bf night feeds. So the plan was to offer her a bottle and gradually try watering it down (eg 7 scoops in 8oz water, then 6 in 8oz, etc reducing it every few days). However she had never been very good at taking a bottle and she point blank refused it when she woke in the night - she was quite happy with dh cuddling her and only got upset when offered the bottle. So on the first night she went all night without a feed and woke perfectly happy in the morning. So after that we just re-settled her with cuddles in the night and within a fortnight she was sleeping through.

"I would say he feeds in the night because he can. If he can't then he'll eat more (milk or solids) during the day. "

I second this

Do you share a room? DD woke for night feeds until we put her in her own room. Then she woke up 2 or 3 times and then gave it up. I think, I was stirring when my boobs told me it was feed time, which then woke her up.

The fact that he only took 3oz and then woke later for you, would suggest to me that its you he wants rather than the milk.

Does he drink water or anything else when you're not there in the day? As long as he's getting enough fluids he shouldn't need that much of a top up at night.

I remember someone saying they got DH to give water in a bottle at night so that there is nothing to wake up for, so they get what they need in the day instead.

You are not being selfish btw, you need your sleep to be a good mummy, esp if you are going to work.

smallone: before we put him in his own room he was waking up to 10 times a night. I reluctantly moved him at 6months, and things hvae been much better since then, but of course you get used to more sleep!

Thanks for all the responses. I think I might try it at the weekend. Perhaps give him a dream feed at 10 when I go to bed, and say if he wants more milk before a certain time, its from a bottle. (I do feel 12 hours is a long time without food, which is one of the reasons I'm not sure about this)

Any more? I'm surprised nobody has told me he'll be hungry

I'm having the same dilemma here with my 6mo ds. He goes to bed around 7.00pm just after a bottle and then wakes at around 1.30am when I feed him and he goes back to sleep til about 7.00am. I know that doesn't sound too bad and if I knew that one day (soon?!) he would just stop waking for the night feed I'd carry on, but I can't help thinking it might just be habit. Have decided to get him up at 11.00pm tonight and feed him (even though it feels wrong to get him up when he's asleep, but it's got to be worth a try) in the hope he'll sleep til the morning. I get the feeling he'll still wake at his usual 1.30-2am but I'll then know he isn't actually hungry at this time and will try to settle him without feeding in the hope that after a few nights of this he'll stop waking - am I kidding myself?

So ChairmumMiaow I'll have to let you know how I get on tonight...but I think your plan of feeding at 10.00pm and then not feeding again for a few hours is a good one. I just feel that it might carry on for months and months if I don't do something to change it.

Same here with 9mo dd although she is bottle fed. Slept through for months and then about 2 months ago started waking for milk in the night. I'm sure it's a habit so am going to try water or nothing and see how it goes.

Having the same issue on another thread. Have been trying some gentle sleep training over the past 2 nights, with some success. Generally everyone in agreement that it's not unreasonable to wean at night around this age, although some different points of view on how to do this.

If you are doing a first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and one at 4pm, that should be OK with 3 meals - if any doubt, perhaps you could try a "dreamfeed" around 10pm (before you turn in)- although DD would take a feed at that time, but DS has never been up it.

Have a look at the other thread if you like.

Hi my ds is 9.5mths old and I have gone down the cc route to stop night time feeds, found he still woke up for water! Now sleeps reasonably well and goes down for between 8-11hrs at a stretch. Do what you think is right for you and your ds - although you might even want to try porridge/weetabix before bed if you think his waking for hunger.

Good luck as lack of sleep is no fun (I'm got 3ds' under 5 so I know )

Fingers crossed for more sleep

Sorry, just looked at your posting of 7.05am, and see you're already thinking of a dreamfeed.

I agree with you that to go cold turkey on any night feeds (when he's used to 3 or more) might be a bit difficult. I decided to give him a feed the first time he woke up after midnight, then nothing till morning. The first night that was 12.10am, then yesterday he went through to 5.10am.

Of course, I didn't so will have to start sleep training myself now. All the best.

Try feeding when you go to bed. Please don't hate me but DS sleeps from 11 until 6 on this routine.

Tried a dreamfeed months ago - he always woke up a couple of hours later regardless of whether or not he had one.

But, it did work with DD. Think they're all different. Thanks for the tip though.

Oops, sorry, thought you were talking to me 5GoMad!! Looking at another thread and sleep deprived!!

Don't despair if a dream-feed does't work: never did for me.

DS went from 6-6 from 7 months old (having been the most appalling sleeper up until that point).

He ate lots in the evening, and had a big milk feed just before bed.

Maybe if you cut one feed out at a time (perhaps by offering water as a substitute until he gets used to idea that no milk will be forthcoming) it would be easier for you all.

Good luck.

Hi Chairmummiaow how are you getting on? I tried an 11.00pm dreamfeed on Wednesday night and felt awful when he woke up and looked all confused as to why I was heaving him out of cot! He had a good feed though and I was feeling hopeful, but then at 2.15am I heard him start to stir, he was on and off til 3.15am when I went into him. Struggled to settle him for an hour then gave in and fed him at 4.30am and he slept til 8.30am and looked all tired in the morning. I felt really mean and stupid for messing around with his feeds and decided he obviously still needs a night feed and would just carry on with it - and a lot of the books do say some babies need one until 9mths-1 year.

Anyway, ds went to sleep just before 8.00pm last night, and I wasn't far behind him, hoping to get a few hours in before getting up for a feed - I woke at 5.30am and realised I hadn't heard a peep out of him - he didn't wake up until 7.35am!!! I don't expect it to happen again tonight but it has shown me that he can do it and will do it when he's ready to. I know your bubs is a bit older than mine, but just wanted to say that sometimes they just do things on their own without us trying to get them to - I was worried he'd carry on feeding in the night forever unless I tried to stop it.

Sheesh - sorry I've rambled on a bit there, hope it's going ok for everyone.

We haven't tried to change anything yet, as I've been pumping ready for the weekend and didn't fancy feeding at 6, pumping at 8 then doing a dream feed at 10 just yet.

Tonight the plan is to start (now we have some milk in the fridge) only offering the bottle between 10 and 4, and working from there. Will keep you posted

ChairmumMiaow - how has it been going