37wks pg and a few questions . .

[pollywollywoowah]

This is my 1st post so sorry if it's a long one!

I am 37wks pg and having failed miserabley at bf with DS 18mths ago I am determined to try my hardest this time.

Found latching on a big prob with DS which was the main prob. Since then he has been diagnosed with mild tongue tie so I assume that was the problem there. Anyway, my milk didn't come in for 5 days and by day 3 DS was appearing unsatisfied (40mins feeding each side and crying when taken off breast) so I gave in and gave him formula intending to keep putting him to the breast until my milk came in. This didn't happen and he ended up 100% ff by day 4.

So my questions are;

1. What do I do if my milk takes this long to come in again?
2. DS wasn't v interested in feeding for 36hrs or so and prob only had a feed every 4-5hrs or so. Should I have been offering him the breast more often even if he wasn't "asking"?
3. I now realise that he might just have been wanting to suckle rather than being unsatisfied, if this is the case, do I just let the baby suckle and keep swapping sides every so often?

I have got some BF helpline type numbers this time and am prob a bit more confident to ask for help, but I am aware that in the immediate period following birth, with a toddler to care for and worry about too, I could easily think "bugger this" and give her some formula which I know I will regret.

no experience with delayed milk coming in, but yes feed lots in the first few days. Newborns can feed for ages, so II wouldn;t worry too much about timings. The more they feed, the more it will stimulate your supply

I think teh recommended max gap between feeds is 3 hours during the day and 4 at night? DS was feeding 2 hourly or less so not sure about that.

Def ask for help as well - and good luck

also, read up on feeding cues - some babies can be more subtle than others when 'asking' for a feed. Look out for chewing fists, rooting and so on.

Thanks for that. DS did chew fists and root when he was hungry but generally slept most of the time! Am hoping things will be easier this time as I'll be looking out for any signs of tingue tie as the latch problems really knocked my confidence.

Thanks again for the reply.

Have you got details of any breastfeeding cafes or the like that are near you? If you do have problems then knowing where you can go and find a trained breast feeding supporter could be invaluable.

This website has the contact numbers for all the BF helplines - there might be one or two more that you don't have - and all manner of useful links that might come in handy.

There's nothing to stop you contacting BF support before your DC is born - you have very sensible and valid questions and being armed with accurate advice in advance can only be a good thing. My local BF cafe type job was a "bumps and babies" style drop in coffee morning that had an NCT trained BF counsellor in attendance - they'd have been more than happy for someone in your circumstances to turn up and ask questions.

From my personal experience (of one DD)...

When I had DD my milk didn't come in for 5 days. She had plenty of wet and dirty nappies and the midwives didn't seem overly concerned that my milk was taking too long to make an appearance.

What kind of birth did you have? Its possible that something to do with the birth impacted on your DS's interest in feeding for the first day or two. DD was never a shrinking violet when it came to asking for milk (and still isn't, truth be told) so I have no personal experience, but I think advice on this would need to be very instance specific - IIRC the advice for a small, slightly early, jaundiced baby would be more along the lines of "make sure it feeds AT LEAST every 4 hours", whereas if the baby is larger and later with no overt problems things are likely to be more relaxed. That said, the more often and longer the baby suckles the more your milk supply will be stimulated.

As a newborn, probably easiest just to let them suckle if that's what they want. At some point you need to decide whether comfort suckling is going to be a problem for you and yours or not, but you might want to defer that for a few weeks untill you've (hopefully) got BF up and running.

Good luck - I hope things work out for you this time

Hello Polly Wolly, best of luck with your second, and congratulations!

Somebody should have told you by now that milk doesn't come in until (usually) about three to five days after birth. Until then, you are providing colostrum, which is just what your baby needs most at this time, and which is crucial to developing a strong immune system. So you don't have to do anything, except encouage your baby to nurse as often as they want (I offered the breast whenever one of my lads woke, and any time they so much as murmured). Babies know what they need, and as another poster pointed out, once they have plenty of wet and dirty nappies, you know they are getting enough.

Which gets to your third question, yes, as I said, I would encourage baby to suckle often for so many reasons:

-Practice makes perfect
-the more they suck, the more milk you produce (and the less they suck, the lower your supply)
-the more they suck, the more happy hormones you produce
-every time you hold and nurse your baby you are bonding, comforting, mothering

The La Leche League (LLL) can be very helpful, although some people can find some of us pro breast feeders overzealous. I would just hate for you and you baby to miss out on this. Do as much reading as you can; I strongly recommend The Complete Book of Breastfeeding, put out by LLL.

ANY questions once you get started, post them here or get a good breast-feeding councellor. Remember,, for every Breast-feeding problem there is nearly always a breast-feeding solution, and once you get going, it makes life soooo much easier when you can feed yourr baby anytime, anywhere.

Best of luck to you!

Tangle there is a breastfeeding mum's group locally but it is on a day when I'd have no choice but to take DS with me so I am thinking that it might be a bit difficult to organise! I live in a village so it's a drive into town, parking etc.. Sounds feeble now I've written that down! Not ruling it out though. DS's birth wasn't great (ventouse after 16hrs) but I didn't have pethidine so not sure if anything there would have affected him. One midwife said that as I was borderline PPH that can sometimes cause a delay with milk coming in, but I've not read or heard that anywhere else. DS was born at 38+4 weighing 7lb 2oz so nothing out of the ordinary there either!

MalchowMama DS did have wet and dirty nappies as far as I can remember! They were def changing to yellowy before we left hospital so I assume that actually means he was getting something. I loved the short time I did breastfeed him for and even now at 18mths I look at him guzzling his bottle and wish I was breastfeeding him

Thanks for the advice and suggestions. I just want her to be born now so I can get on with it all!

I think why your milk comes in when it does is one of those things that no one really knows what the answer is... They just have lots of ideas - I had a PPH and thats why the midwives think mine was a little on the late side, but that's still experienced guess work.

If stuffs coming out of the bottom end it must have been going in the top - and if the poos were turning yellow then thats another really good sign. I think one of the hardest things in breastfeeding is to have confidence that a liquid you rarely even see (except on the occasions your DC chucks it back at you ) is available in sufficient quantity and quality to sustain and nurture your child for the first few months of their life. But it can and does!

Re. the breastfeeding group - at least you know where and when it is, and it sounds like it would be possible (although I remember how hard I found it to get out of the house when DD was little, and trying to do that with a toddler as well would be a challenge and a half). I'd still suggest trying to make contact with a trained BFC that's local to you before you give birth. You may well find that they'll be prepared to come to you if you're really getting stuck. If nothing else it would make it easier for me to call them if I was in trouble - I'm useless at calling strange people, and doing it when I'm feeling low can be a complete non starter - but you're probably not so much of a wimp as I am .

Fingers crossed things happen soon for you and it all goes well

Posting to wish you luck rather than offer advice, and also to bookmark this - I'm only 24 weeks but very keen to do better at breastfeeding second time around, so I'm keen to think about what I can do to prepare now.