Bottle vs. Breast... why the on-going debates?

[MrsBigD]

o.k. I'm bored and can't be bothered to do the housework so might as well write something down on what's been playing on my mind... and as per usual I'm interested in the human nature aspect of this.

I do accept that this is a highly emotional/passionate subject as it would be being so closely related to oneself and the lo, BUT... it's been rehashed so many times now that it sounds like a broken record {{{quickly ducks}}}}

I know, I don't have to look at/read/contribute to the posts on this subject but I always find it amazing/amusing that even if somebody just harmlessly wants to get some impartial advice it usually baloons out into a highly heated debate. And I'm not for or against any particular way of feeding IMHO happy baby & happy mother is the most important factor and does not depend on how feeding is done

Here are my 2pence worth:

Benefits/drawbacks of any way of feeding lo's are relativ imho.

Breast is best - Well maybe but then again in our times our bodies are so ladden with 'bad things' (chemicals and the like) ... is it really?

Personal Choice - It's a personal choice nobody has to justify towards anybody. Then again do we really have the choice if being criticised if going again public opinion?

Bottle deprives of immunity protection - maybe it does, but I know of soley breast fed kids who still had eczema, coelia desease, asthma etc, and of perfectly healthy bottle fed babes.

So you see, depending on which way one looks at it it's always different, so why restate the same old pro's abd con's at least once a day?

I shall now duck away out of the firing line and see what I've started here.

not from you Caligula, but from some MNters
they were just harping on a bit too much that I should keep trying and bla bla bla... I didn't mind the genuine advice I received as that was very helpful, but there were some trends in there shining through ... enough said though as it's water under the bridge

I don't think "obsessed" is the way to describe the por-breast feeder.

I know that I am always ultra sensitive about not judging people if I see them bottle feeding(even if internally I might be disppointed on the baby's behalf IFYSWIM). How do I know that it's not EBM in the bottle for a start? Fore xample, ds went through a stage of having every second feed as EBM, to see if that changed his weight gain.

Becasue of the sensitivity, I daren't even ask wrok colleagues who bring thier kids in about how they are getting with feeding. This is despite the fact that I had real problems myself - and know that the support and advice - and role models - I had from other breast feeding mums really helped and inspired me.

I know that I had helped others by my own example - but these were either from the b/f support group, or friends with whom I had had a chance to have proper discussions - and who were able to come and talk to me.

I wasn't going to post any more on these threads but here I go again.

I object to being told that because I give information about breastfeeding I am obsessive about it. I suppose the reason it comes over as being obsessive is that there are a number of posters who want to ridicule the evidence and therefore you end up posting more in reply.

I used the word 'ideal' world earlier because ideally a baby should be fed it's mother's milk. There just is no argument to that. Unfortunately there may be reasons a mother should not breastfeed (very rare, less than 1%), despite best efforts it has not worked out and then there are women who have tried it and hated it (fair enough) and women who just don't want to do it (fair enough again).

I do not judge women who bottlefeed.

I personally just can't understand why, when given all the information, women choose not to even try it.

Now this is why this debate will roll on and on. Someone may take offence at what I have said. I do not believe it to be offensive as I am just expressing a view.

I take offence at being called obsessive because of my knowledge and understanding of breastfeeding.

I personally think it is sad that many women are unable to consider using their breastmilk to feed their babies because it is alien to them

The culture does need to shift but it will take years. I need a wee rest now..... am off ill you know.......

As MrsBigD mentioned in her original posting. This is about HUMAN NATURE. People are judgemental by their very nature. I have yet to come across a person in my life, me included that does not hold some sort of predjudice based on their own choices vs others. It's a trait of everyone to make themselves feel better by criticising the choices of others, often to reassure themselves that their own choices were good, or better.

Mothers are also born on the arrival of that first baby. Along comes the angst, guilt, worries and such that plague every mother. Every choice we make is made against this backdrop. I have found that I have never bridled so quickly and felt so defensive in my life, about criticisms brought towards my own methods of child-rearing choices. However, in RL we choose our peers to discuss things with, and another trait of human beings is to surround oneself with people who are like minded and hold similar views. But even the best of friends can find themselves suddenly at odds with one another when realising they hold different opinions on how best to deal with babies and children (even if they always agreed on everything pre-children).

Come onto the melting pot which is MN, and you enter the debate at your own risk.

ANY debate (as anyone who has been involved in debates at school, uni, or anywhere else) HAS to have opposing views to be interesting and balanced.

However, add to that the emotion involved with being a mum, throw in a few hormones, and the odd ill-placed remark and we're off! We cannot help ourselves.

I don't care how many threads are started on the same subject. Someone new enters and even though some people say "same old same old" I always find there's some new snippet of info, or interesting take on the same subject and this is a good thing. Be involved or not. But do so at your own risk. What I hate is people getting drawn into a debate about whether people are "personally attacking" or "not allowing an opinion to be voiced" and a spate of bickering begins. If someone agrees or not - it's ALWAYS their own personal opinion, and allowed to be aired.

Like your style of writing cathbert.

I don't mind either how many threads are started on a subject, was just wondering why they always end in such a major debate

Is this stil going on?

Curerently I am breast AND bottlefeeding my 8 week old. Hope to continue to do both for the next year. So not sure which way I should be obsessed.\

However for those of you bored with the breast vs bottle debate I shall get the hump at HappyMumof2's post about vaccaintions as if they're so bloody good why does it make any difference whether my kid is vaccinated?

(sound of jimjams running away leaving all hel breaking losel behind her- and for what its worth I don't care how people feed their kids or whether they choose to jab or not - I've done different combinations of the 2 on my 3, and one thing I've discovered is that choices depend very much on individual circumstances)

Message withdrawn

but ds1 caught rubella from an immunised child,.....

(seriously he did). I was being a bit tongue in cheek really as I've stayed out of breast vs bottle debates (mainly because I'm not bothered although I thought misdees initial post was interesting).

however I do think my final sentence is valid for this debate as well. I have found (from having ds1) that choices depend very much on individual circumstance. If someone had told me when ds1 was 8 weeks old- having been foir his first set of jabs- that my second and third wouldn't b e vaxed I would have thought them insane. So if 5 years ago I couldn't imagine myself in a set of circumstances rthat would lead to that decision then I can't possibly know enough about other's situations to understand a decision that may seem bizarre to me. Doen't mean I'm not all for encouragement of breastfeeding- and it can be hard so there needs to be information and encouragement out there.I do think that breastfeeders have come in for some slightly unfair criticism in this debae- but I have only skim read.

The only argument I haven't understoood is when bottlefeeders say they\re too lazy too breastfeed- not because I condem that (I'm all for making life as easy as possible) just because I find bottlefeeding such hard work and such a drag. I hate preparing bottles- it was much easier with ds1 (who ws 99% bfed- one bottle at bedtime a day occasionally). Laziness for me is an argument for breastfeeding - once established it's far far easier.

HappyMof2, there's a school of thought which would disagree with you on that; it goes, if you bf your child, it will get fewer illnesses, therefore it will cost the NHS less, therefore it will cost the taxpayer less, therefore it is the taxpayer's business what feeding method you choose!

It's the same argument that says smokers cost the NHS more so should pay more taxes. And the same argument as extreme family values people who say that single parents are more likely to have children who truant etc., therefore are a Bad Thing and should be made to go and live in the workhouse.

I don't have any sympathy with any of these arguments, btw, but I'm just pointing out that what we may see as an individual choice which has bog-all to do with anyone else, can sometimes be perceived as being the world and his wife's business - especially by people who are inclined to want to interfere with other people's choices!

Hi Mears, missed the relevant threads but understand you have been ill and worried about your dad - I'm really sorry. I love your posts, your advice and really have appreciated your support and sanity myself. I think you do wonderful work.

I get really F*** off with being called smug.
I'm a mother, I did what I believed was best for my children, which in my world is breastfeeding, along with several other choices which would label me a tit slinging, knitted bra, earth mother type person if all of the caricatures continually espoused were actually true.
Can we get over it, breastfeeding has a multitudes of benefits - hey I breastfed my son he is a healthy genius, I bf my daughter she was a failure to thrive (not due to my milk might I add)
Everyone here is a mother, everyone does the best they can and what is best for them.
Can we stop labelling breastfeeders as smug and can we stop bottlefeeding mums from feeling like they are being persecuted by the telling of the benefits of breastmilk.
Neither means success or failure as a mother!!!

piffle

I must have missed a generalisation in the thread as I haven't had time to read through it all due to niggling kids today.

Unfortunately generalisation is part of human nature...

I personally don't think breastfeed mums are smug about bf in general. But there are a few out there and not just on MN who think they are superior and brand bottlefeed mums as inferior. One of my husbands mates wife is working on kids no. 5 and has breastfed the 4 she's had so far. Good for her, but she was sooooo extrovert about it. I think it's great if a mother is comfortable with it, but not all mothers are

I hope this comes over as I meant it too, sometimes it's a bit diffucult to phrase such things.

What d'you mean she was extrovert about it?!!!

My mind is boggling!

FWIW - Mears - I would never say you are obsessed about bf at all - just knowledgeable - I always like reading your posts cos I know I can rely on them to make more sense than my own!!!

BUT I do think there are some people who (whether knowledgeable or not!) so one side of the bf/bottle fence or the other they dont seem to be able to appreciate anothers viewpoint - not a comment aimed at anyone in particular -just an observation!

FWIW I BF both my children for 6 months ish and then bottle fed after that - so have an experience and opinion of both!

I think topics like this will always be ongoing because we all have an opinion. Such debates are almost always heated cos its such a personal issue - Its bound to cause a stir

Caligula... well it did boggle she's not shy about it at all no matter where she was/is.

I commend her bravery on that! I'm not a prude at all, but I did have my reservations about lopping my boobs out to feed in public.

On the downside she was very evangelistic (apologies to any evangelists on here) about how bf is THE only way to feed...

Being stuck at home all day, and missing out on all the old lab gossip, I love heated threads.

Oh dear, how sad is my life.......