Considering stopping BF, please share your stories...

[dairymoo]

I have 13mo DTs who were excl BF until I weaned them at 26 weeks. They have gradually reduced their feeds and now we are down to two - first thing in the morning and last thing before bed.

I have really loved BF and to some extent it has kind of become part of my identity as a mum (which I have to admit, I have enjoyed) but I am now considering drawing it to an end as I am starting to get bitten every now and again, and I just feel that sometimes I'd love for someone else to put my LOs to bed without me worrying about them settling ok, etc. (Not to mention the promise of a baby-free ski trip coming up this Christmas! )

I am going away with work soon for 7 days and have been expressing so that my DH and MIL can give BM in a cup whilst I am away and I'm thinking that I might use this as my way of weaning them. I.e. when I come back, no more BF. Is this really mean?? I just don't know how else I'd wean them as my DH is rarely home in time to put them to bed without me and I don't think they'd be best pleased if I tried to do it without offering a BF first.

I suppose what I'm after is anyone's experiences of weaning around this age - how did you do it? Did you regret not carrying on for longer? Or were you pleased with your decision?

One issue to point out is that DT2 is allergic to cow's (and goat's) milk so if I give up I will need to ensure that her diet is calcium rich through other foods. I'm not worried about that, just thought it was worth mentioning.

Can't help with this I'm afraid as I was just about to post about the same issue (only one baby though!). I'll be interested to hear people's views.

ziggy x

Why don't you see how you feel when you come back? I weaned DD2 at 11 months when I had to go away with with for 1 day (she was also on 2 feeds by then) - I didn't really think about it much beforehand, but then when I was back I thought, "oh well, she was okay yesterday with cows milk, let's see if she asks today" and she didn't, so we stopped. I was a bit sad to stop, but I know that if I hadn't done it that way and had sat down to think "this is my last breastfeed ever" I would have cried all the way through it. This way we did our last feed without really knowing it was our last feed IYSWIM? It IS emotional and you will be sad whenever you stop I think.

with with?!? with WORK I meant!

Bramshott - I think that's what I am afraid of too - "this will be my last BF" - it almost makes me tear up just thinking about it . Perhaps I should just play it by ear then..?

Any more experiences v welcome!

I finished breastfeeding last Wednesday. My DS is 11 and a half months old. We were down to 1 BF, 2 x FF a day (we switched over since he was 8 months old).

I felt sad on the day and the day after (I think also stopping does affect you hormonally a lot) and I think I would have been sad however old he was.

But we are now in the routine of it and so far, haven't had any other 'wobbly' days about it. He has been fine too. I am just making sure I am giving him lots of cuddles and mummy time.

Not sure whether this helps, but I wanted to say it does go OK. I had exactly the same concerns, but feel fine now.

But if you want to continue a while longer, then go for it.

PS only worrying thing is that I've had lots of wine in last few days

Hi Dairymoo, I have 14 mth DT's who are still breastfed, and I have been struggling with what to do next.

I would like to wean them to get some semblance of a social life back, but I feel selfish thinking this! I fed my first two children until they were 12 mths, so feeding toddlers is new territory for me.

I'm not sure if I would be happy to let them self wean if this means feeding till they are 3 or 4.

However, there are several reasons why I don't want to stop yet- one DT has a medical condition so I want to continue to feed him for comfort- and I don't think the other DT would be pleased for me to stop feeding her while she could see her brother being fed.

Also, when I stopped nursing my singletons I then had a year of getting up in the night to fetch dummies/bottles, so from a practical point of view it is easier to continue nursing (we co-sleep).

I think it's likely I will feed them until they are just over 2, then veerrry gradually wean them then.

I'd really recommend the Yahoo group called "ap multiples" which has absolutely loads of advice about weaning toddlers.

Lots of love- will be waching this thread!

watching

Likesleep - I do agree that I will feel sad (and prob v hormonal!) whenever I wean them.

And breadandroses - I'm not sure I want to do the self-weaning thing either, mainly for selfish reasons I think, as I cannot entertain the thought of not having a night off for a possible 3 more years!!
P.S. As an aside, how do you co-sleep with DTs? Have always wondered this...

Mine are sleeping through the night so I am little scared about jeopardinsing this too. I.e. if they don't get their morning/bedtime milk, will they wake up hungry in the middle of the night?

Also, am I right in thinking that it might be easier to wean a 13mo old than a say, 2 year old? That distraction (or mum being away for a week ) might work better at a younger age? I might be talking complete bollocks though!!

I am not an expert, but would your supply be affected by one night off every so often?
Also, I think you are amazing to have breast fed twins! Wow.

When I weaned my singletons they had bottles- so they still went to sleep sucking. I am crap at sleep training. I gradually gave these up when they were about 2- when they became dry in the day and can speak and understand it was just part of the natural transition from baby to big girl, iyswim. Before then they seemed to need to go to sleep with something.

Personally, I will try to find the patience to keep feeding the DT's as when you are an old gimmer like me with a couple of kids already it's much easier to see the long view- they are only babies for a few more months!

However, the downside is that I rarely go anywhere in the evening as I feel very much "on call".

The important thing to remember is if you stop you can't go back to it- btw- co-sleeping is a doddle- one twin each side of me and DH on the end (superkingsize obv).

Likesleep - I'm sure my supply won't be affected by one night off occasionally but it's more the anxiety about them not settling without a feed that I worry about.

Breadandroses - yes, that's what I am struggling with - if I stop, will I feel terribly guilty the next time they are ill and I can't comfort them with a BF...

Has anyone found that there LOs cuddle more omce they've stopped BF to make up for the time they are missing?

No experience of feeding twins - big respect to you!

In my experience I found it really easy to wean DS at nearly 2 yrs, whereas at 13 months he seemed far too into his mummy milk to even consider it (he didn't sleep well and was still feeding in the night at this point). I found that as a toddler he had more language and understanding, and we could 'discuss' the fact that my milk was 'all gone', and that now he had milk from the fridge. We stopped about 2 months ago and he still talks about my milk, especially as I am 6 months pg and we are having lots of conversations about the new baby.

At about 15 months I started to do the odd late night for work, and DH was able to put DS to bed no probs with a cup of cows milk - I was amazed! I then cut down to just the morning feed at 18 months, DH did bedtime for a few nights so DS could get used to it.

With the biting - I don't have a huge amount of experience (luckily), but used to kind of squash DS's face into my boob until he unlatched and then end the feed. He didn't do it too often after that!

That's really reassuring RhinestoneCowgirl about the odd night off and your DS taking milk from a cup. Maybe I just need to give it a go occasionally and see how they get on. As you did, I might be pleasantly surprised!

I actually wouldn't mind just doing a morning feed for quite a bit longer as it's really chilled and a lovely way to get a cuddle first thing.

I didn't wean at this age (DS self-weaned at just-turned three) but I certainly had plenty of nights off . He would settle fine without a feed if I wasn't there, but would want a feed if I was.