any breast feeding experts help me from scratch?

[mad4mybaby]

Ok first of all can i ask no one to judge me, just to give me some help and guidance as this is quite diff to me.

i am 32 weeks with ds2 and when i was pg with ds1 i was ADAMENT i wouldnt bf. I decided to do it for a few days until the milk came in. Its just something i have never liked the idea of, in fact it repulsed me. Not other people doing it just me. Anyway when ds1 was born MW helped him latch on and he fed no probs and didnt even hurt and i thought ok i can cope with this for a few days. Anyway cut along story short ds was v ill and he was put on medicated milk so i couldnt carry on (but i was glad at the time as it took my guilt away as i COULDNT even if id wanted to).

With ds2 im sort of the same mentality in that i still dont like it but want to try to do it longer, and probably express. So this is where i dont have a clue as never paid any interest/read anything about it.

Firstly i am going to get a sterilisor and bottles in. Is and electric pump better than manual? When BF fails, is it the baby thats doing something wrong or the mother? I mean latching on etc? Also i will get breast pads but what do i do about bras? I dont have any bf bras and dont really want to spend money on more bras..

any friendly advice welcome!

oh also what about pajamas and tops and stuff??? Again i dont want to go out and buy aload of new tops and pjs just for bf. esp if i may only last a few weeks

I'm sure someone will be along with some clear advice but just wanted to say that I was fairly similar with dd (adamant I wouldn't, idea of me bf repulsed me, but thought I would try for the colustrum bit - mixed fed for 3 weeks). Anyway, I have been exclusively bf ds for 10 weeks and it feels fine, great even. So good luck .

(PS got some nice cheap bfing bras from Debenhams but you could just hoik your boob out - wear normal tops with v/low neck! I don't use breast pads any more - was super leaky til 3 weeks now only occasionally)

lots of excellent 'basic' info (and more) on www.kellymom.com and www.howbreastfeedingworks.com

with ds i leaked for over 6 months! Gp checked my throxine levels or whatever it is called and they were fine. Does anyone think that will have an effect this time? Did that just mean i produced alot of milk?

I don't think you need anything 'special' to wear especially as in the early days it's much easier at home with your top off - I found it helped to have skin to skin contact (i.e. baby just in a nappy)

The thing I have found is how much easier it was for me than my bottle feeding friends in the night - I just used to hoik a boob out and either feed lying down on my side in bed or sitting in a chair with my head back basically dozing... My SIL used to constantly complain about getting up sterilising bottles making them up etc etc.

Lastly it is easier (I think anyway) to get the latch right than to mess about expressing.

I breastfed with a big t-shirt that I could lift up, maybe just buy one bra to feed in, I used croptop style bra for nighttime feeds

Use an electric pump as much quicker, but noisy! It takes some getting used to but is worth it

As for whose at fault if feeding goes , neither really, it's just that both a baby and a mum are learning so it gets MUCH easier and MUCH quicker as time goes on (with my two by about 5 weeks they were feeding for less than 5 mins each side)

If you are adamant about expressing, how about just doing one feed a day and the rest expressed, then should you be caught out without any milk you would be able to feed,

it is so much easier at night to feed than bottles (I used both)

good luck

what is expressing like? I dont really want to be the one who has to feed all day and night.. whilst dh has a bit of time off i want him to help particularly the night feeds.

so....

any suggestions on the best pump to buy?

Also, are you likely to get sore from expressing?

With pumps its a bit "horses for courses". I expressed gallons with an Avent Isis hand pump but struggled with an electric one. Sadly it's not cut and dried which one will work best for you! Have you been in touch with your local NCT? They often have pump reps who hire them out, so you could try a few before you decide which one to buy.

As for sharing feed, particularly night feeds. I have never understood this one. I am always the one who wakes when the baby needs feeding, in the time it would take me to wake DP, explain that the baby needs feeding and lie awake listening to the baby cry as he heats a bottle and wonder if he's doing it right etc etc, I could have flopped my bob out and fed the baby and been back to sleep. Expressing can help spread the load in the day time and early evening, but I wouldn't get your hopes up for an unitnerrupted 8 hours whilst DH/P feeds the baby at 3am!

Exclusive expressing is not an easy option, it takes a lot of time and work, you have to take your pump with you if you are going to be out for more than 3-4 hours and it isn't easy to maintain your supply. There are info sources for exclusive expressing which a quick google should lead you to.

Under the circumstances you are probably best to just go with the flow and see what happens. You may find that bf is easy for you this time, and like Umlellala you don't feel unhappy doing it. It's so easy to go out and buy the bits and pieces once you decide to start expressing or mixed feeding, so rather than getting yourself all stressed about it and worrying now, why not jus wait until the baby is here and take it one day at a time and see how you feel.

not an advert but avent isis manual pump was good and doesn't hurt. Used it with ds and ds. With ds bf hurt but not with pump. Wrap around tops, low v-necks are good for bf or baggy tops. bras without wires or padding are easiest. I'm still bf at 1 year and hate the thought of stopping as it's so much easier than getting bottles ready, especially in the night or out and about. Good luck!

I use the Avent Isis electric pump and have been quite successful with it. I know what GreenMonkies means about DH/DP doing a night feed, my DH faffs about a lot and I'm always convinced I could do it quicker/better with my boob. However, I do get really good sleep on my 'nights off' as I stick the ear plugs in and leave DH to do everything.

One thing I would say though, mad4mybaby, is that you won't be doing your milk supply any good if you start expressing and getting DH to do night feeds. In the early weeks, if you want to get a good supply going, you need your baby to feed from you frequently to build up the supply it needs. If you miss a feed and don't express at the same time, your body thinks your baby needs less milk.

I'd wait until at least 8 weeks before expressing if I were you. But I do recommend it, cos it helps take the pressure off a bit.

But then, everyone's experience is different. In the end you need to go with what works for you.

Well first of congratulations!!

I use the electric Avent Isis and its marvellous, works really well and I dont even think it's that noisy! The only time pumping hurt was when I first started using the pump and set the suction WAY too high! my boob ached a lot afterward and was bright red!! LOL

The one thing I will say is that I have to agree woth greenmonkies, by the time DH woke up enough to realise DD is crying and gets his arse downstairs to sort the bottle out, I couldve easily fed and put her back to bed.
In the early days the feeds DO take longer for some babys, DD used to spend anything for 45-90 mins at each feeding in the early weeks!
(She's now got it down to around 10 mins each side)

My supply took 12 wks to settle down completely into the amount that DD needed each day, she's now 15 wks old and feeding approx every 3-4 hours. But I really couldn't imagine in the early weeks pumping every feed and giving it to her in bottles. Thats alot of work! It is also fairly time consuming expressing all the time.

I completely understand your reasons for not wanting to BF exclusively, but in the long run you may find after a few weeks that it actually aint that bad, and really quite enjoyable! (and more covienient!)

I spent the first few weeks swearing that I would only BF for a few weeks then go onto bottle, but each time it came to the crunch, I backed down and extended my deadline. And now I dont really have a plan when to stop. Just going with the flow

Good Luck and congrats again on your new LO

i admire you for wanting to give bf a try , even though it freaks you out a bit.you cant help how you feel and no one shoudl judge you for that. At least you are trying to get over your feelings so you can do your best for your baby. that takes more courage than soemone who find bf really easy

you dont need anything special to wear, except a bf bra is more convenient. i have never bought any bf clothes

i have an electic pump but find i dont get much milk when i express but i do have enough to feed my baby

I suspect it will be very hard to keep up your supply by expressing alone and it will be very hard work. much easier just to bf if you can bear to

what do you think woudl help you get over how you feel about it? do you think its a phobia? i dont knwo anyting about it but wonder if a psychologist or counsellor coudl help?

do you think you might get used to it after a while? its like a lot of things that can sounds really gross when you just think/talk about it, but you just get used to it ge periods, sex!!

its not such a phobia im just very body consious and wouldnt want to bf in front of dh for example, well in front of anyone. Thats just how i am. Can you do a mixture of bf and expressing in the first few weeks? Sorry if my questions are daft i just dont have a clue! Generally how long does an 'express' last and how much do you get? Like i said in original post with ds i leaked all the time until about 6 weeks! Does that mean i had a good supply at the time? Also do you think that has any affect on my milk this time round?

But he's your DH, he got you into this position! Seriously, I know the whole breastfeeding thing can feel a bit wierd to start off with, particularly as we are socialised to see our boobs as sexual objects and not the means of feeding our babies, but breastfeeding can (and will) feel the most natural thing to do. You just have to give it time. I reckon by week 6 you won't be bothered if your DH sees you breastfeeding, and by week 16 you won't be bothered who sees (and it is possible to feed in such a way as no one will see much anyway).

You could try bf and expressing in first few weeks, but I wouldn't recommend it, IMO, especially if you want to try to feed for longer than a few weeks. And expressing is not easy to start off with.. in the first few weeks you should really just try to concentrate on feeding your new baby and getting sleep when you can!

When I started to express I would limit it to ten minutes and would get less than one ounce. But my supply soon worked out that I wanted more and I could then get around 5oz reliably after about 20 mins pumping.

HTH

BTW, I do know one mum who has only ever fed her baby expressed milk, but it does take time to do. IMO it would be worth giving bfeeding a go first, to see if you can get to feel comfortable with it.

You could always start expressing so you get used to it but freeze the milk so when baby's got the hang of bf you've got a good store and you'll be making plenty. Wouldn't start mix feeding till 8-12 wks, something about babies sucking reflexes.

when you say mix feeding do you mean bottle and breast? Mumsnobest, when are you suggesting i start expressing?

Ive read alot about 'nipple confusion' but what about dummys and breast feeding? How come that isnt a problem? Esp as they no recommend using a dummy to reduce SIDS. I do plan on using a dummy straight away (if baby wants it) just like i did with ds

In my experience, we introduced a dummy after 4 weeks of BF and DD got very confused and her latch became very poor. As soon as we dumped the dummy, she was back to normal within a few days of practising again. So we never bothered with one in the end, and I'm really glad we didn't! It's not like that for everyone, but you do have to be careful.

I wasn't aware that they were now recommending dummies for reducing SIDS, I thought that it was more to do with research that suggested a lower amount of cases of SIDS in babies who had dummies?

we wanted DH to start giving DD a bottle of EBM in the evenings, I think we gave DD her first bottle to try at about 2 weeks (just the one that week and one the week after) so she could get used to the difference slowly. But everybody does it differently as I'm sure you'll see on mumsnet.

I did what mumsnobest suggested and expressed of about 2 ish oz a day off from day one and froze it for later use, but I think breast milk changes as the weeks go by so your LO might not like frozen EBM that you made at 2 weeks when she 12 weeks old IYSWIM?

wierd isnt it that they can have a preference?! I know its silly to be worrying about it now as you dont know whats going to happen but i am. Just cant get my head round it all. I also have the worry about allergies so may not be able to BF anyway.

During whole pg im dairy intollerant, makes me very sick (same with ds1) and he is dairy allergic, soya and egg intollerant. If i have a teeny bit of dairy ds2 goes a bit crazy in there so im pretty much sure he will be intollerant. Im currently having soya

Mad4MyBaby,

My DD2 is also dairy intolerant, I bf her by staying on a dairy free diet and this means she is getting no dairy either. If there are problems like this in your family you really would find it so much easier in the long run to be able to bf. What was your DS1 fed on if he is dairy and soya intolerant? (The two often go together as the protiens are very similar!) I was able to reintroduce dairy into my diet after about 18 months, and at two she is getting a lot less sensitive so we can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

As for being self-conscious, well, I think we all are to begin with. Have you talked to your DH about how you feel? Without wanting to sound sarcastic, but didn't you manage to get pregnant (twice!!) with this man? So surely he's seen your boobs before? If it really is a huge insurmountable issue for you there are some things you can get which cover you totally when bf. Nursing capes are quite popular in the States especially in very religious areas.

I think you are doing brilliantly to be trying again, have you thought of going to a bf group near you now? You don't have to be actually bf to go along. If you start going now you'll get to know the other mums and the supporters, and also get used to seeing other mums bf, all of which may well help you feel more comfortable about it too.

(sorry, forgot to say, introducing a dummy from birth will almost certanly have a detrimental effect on your DS2's latch, making bf painful and difficult. I'd wait a few weeks and just bf and then start expressing and using bottles/a dummy if you still feel you need to)

ds1 was very ill with severe reflux and was put on medicated milk and medicine. The docs kept saying there was nothing wrong with him and i KNEW he was ill and was 99% sure it was the milk. Anyway he was on various diff formulas and i ended up trying him on nanny goat formula. There was an instant improvement, hes always thrived and now has whole goats milk. I cant stand goats milk, makes me heave so although im coping (just) with cutting out dairy will struggle cutting out soya (IF it is a prob) as im vegetarian aswell.

Im not saying soya WILL be a prob (wether that formula or through my milk) but im pretty sure dairy is already due to how he reacts to if i had dairy and ds1 was always the same...

a dummy was the only way ds1 would settle. I was adament about not using one with him but after a few days couldnt take it anymore and MW said try him with it and he adored it so not really sure, will try not to at first...

If DS1 had savage reflux then he would have liked the dummy as it helps to keep the acid/stomach contents down. You may find that DS2 doesn't need it so much, each baby is different, it's a cliche but it's true. I am also slightly cows milk intolerant so it wasn't a huge surprise when DD2 was, and I drink goats milk instead of cows milk. I had to be totally dairly free for DD2 though, even goats milk upset her (reflux, horrific colic, green slimey poo and excema) and I found soya milk upset my stomach (and made me gag!) so I used rice milk instead. I don't think you'd have to be soya free whilst bf, just dairy free, if you follow that!

true about dummy with ds1. He still attached now! Something i plan on sorting AFTER baby settled in! i am worried about not expressing for at least one feed a day in the first week, as i will only have ds for 1 week after baby born before he back to work and he travels so wont be here at night.

I had severe PND with ds1 and also was physically very bad after birth (pain etc the usual!) and i just couldnt cope with the lack of sleep and now having a very active 2 yr old to cope with on top of no sleep and doing all the feeds myself worryes me.. At least if i could express whilst dh was here he could at least do first feed of the day whilst i got a few hours sleep. I just really really really want to avoid everything i can to try to make sure i dnt get PND again, and i know every birth/baby etc is different