any thoughts on this problem? Am phoning a bfc this afternoon anyway, but any opinions appreciated!!

[hopefully]

Am going to phone a BFC today, but was wondering if anyone had any thoughts/ideas as well?

I really thought we were beginning to get on top of BF following the brilliant advice on here, but solving one lot of problems has caused a new batch.

I don?t know if I?m being naïve in my expectations, but basically DS (9 days old) is feeding all the time, without ever going down for a proper sleep. As I am not prepared to co-sleep (am a heavy sleeper even now), this means I am just not sleeping. DS will generally feed solidly from 7-8am until 3-5pm, when he goes down for a 2-3 hour nap (with much settling and shushing, even though he is essentially falling asleep at the breast before we put him in his basket). He will then feed solidly again until around midnight, when he will go down for about 60-90 mins, then feed solidly again until he goes down for another 60-90 mins around 5am.

I think the problem is that he is dozing during/immediately after a feed for a few minutes at a time, but as soon as I make any move to put him in his basket he wakes and demands feeding again. I am swapping sides around every 30-40 mins in an effort to keep him awake and feeding. He has also become more fussy in his latch over the past 36 hours, going on and off and muttering to himself as he does so (grumpy so and so ). He is also spending absolutely no time awake and not on the breast ? I know it?s early to be worrying about this though.

I am really at my wits? end, and am increasingly thinking that I would be better off expressing full time and giving it to him in a bottle, so at least he would get a full feed in one go, and might at least be content, and possibly go down for a sleep afterwards.

I have stuck with this since Tuesday morning, thinking that as my milk seemed to come in late (5 days, on Monday), it might take a while to catch up with his demands - he was a big baby at 9lb 8oz.

I know this is very early days, and perserverance will help, but I am truly going spare from lack of sleep, and there is nothing DP can do to help, as all he does if he?s not ready for one of his mini naps is scream when DP takes him.

We haven?t had a pooey nappy since Monday, although he is wetting them a reasonable amount. He is clearly in low level discomfort from the lack of poo, bringing his knees up every couple of hours and straining, and passing quite a lot of wind.

Any thoughts much appreciated, will be phoning BFC for advice this afternoon as well.

Sorry, that was a bit epic!!

Oh god, the more I read this through the more it just looks like I am being impatient with a newborn. I am going spare though, and really feeling that something has to give, and I soooo don't want it to be exclusive BF!

Agree it is early days, but lack of sleep is not ideal and can make everything seem SO bad, when it is not.
How about taking him off the breast as soon as he starts to fall alseep, talk to him, stimulate etc, then put back on.
Also when DP has him, leave the room and get on and do something. If you hover around DP, you could make him nervous/tense, plus just sitting there listening to DS moan/cry can be upsetting. Maybe tidy your airing cupboard/wardrobe or just go for a lay down. Get Dp to go in the garden with him (If nice weather).
Just a 30 minute break will give you the patience to start the whole process again.
HTH

Congratulations on your DS!
Don't have any real advice sorry, but BFC sounds like a good bet. Also, could you snooze on the sofa while feednig him (propped up) while your DP checks on you every 5 mins? Might just help you feel relaxed.

hopefully, i notice you said that you swap sides after 30-40 mins. By then he has fallen asleep, hasn't he?

I suggest swapping sides before he falls asleep, even if that is only after 3 or 5mins. Then when it slows down on that side, swap back again. Try breast compressions too before swapping.

It doesn't matter how 'full' your breast feels. You don't have to leave a baby on for a certain period of time before you swap sides.

yes, and phone bfc.

Sounds like the wind might be an issue. Maybe take him off after 20 mins or so and give him a good burping, and then put him back on. If he's in discomfort from the wind he will suck for comfort, as well as trying to get the food despite there not being enough room.
Infacol is supposed to be good, but you need to use it at every feed (or boob if cluster-feeding I guess) as the effect is cumulative. I could never remember.
Is your DP off work at present? If so, you could sleep with the baby and have him sit up for safety. I know DH had to sit and poke me to stop me falling asleep while feeding DS those first couple weeks.
Also have a BFC check your latch and positioning. If its inefficient, feeds will take longer.
Best of luck!

xx

Sleep deprivation is hard - don't be too tough on yourself!

I agree with pp about co-sleeping whilst dp is around, and having him nearby to check up on you. Exhaustion is a risk factor for co-sleeping, but if you get over that while dp is around you may feel happier about doing it while you're alone. If not, at least you've caught up on some sleep!

Another option is having your dp take ds out in the car, pram or sling. Lots of babies this age will sleep whilst on the move, even if they don't otherwise! This could give you an hour or so to yourself.

Also agree about having a BFC check your latch to make sure ds is feeding as efficiently as he can. He's still very young though!

Good luck!

Is he windy? Are you managing to get wind up (I am convinced that it is a dark art that only elderly women are able to master). Only that when dd was little I think I made the mistake of always responding to her cries as hunger cries. So she would cry, I would feed her. She would fall asleep on the boon and then wake up when I moved, cry and I would feed her again.

She was very colicky and I found in the end that the constant feeding was almost making it worse. I started to try and distract her in other ways (still feeding LOADS), by massaging her tummy, bicycling her legs, giving her to dh to hold (upright on the shoulder) to try and wind. Walking up and down stairs seemed to get her to burp.

Also, I found that a dummy helped as well, but know it's not everyone's cup of tea (wasn't mine, but needs must).

I remember ringing NCT BF helpline sobbing because I was so knackered and shattered and at the end of my tether, Plus had a bit hormone surge and seemed to spend all my time crying until she was about 3 weeks.
Tried infacol which didn't work for her.

In the end, it was time and confidence that worked. At weekends I would sleep downstairs and DH would sleep upstairs with dd. Then when she woke up, he would have first go at trying to get her to settle, and then if it didn't work and there'd been a reasonable break of more than a couple of hours, he'd bring her to me for a feed and then take her away afterwards. So I managed to get (fitful) sleep then.

We had v.similar problem with DS1 and it turned out we were totally not winding him properly (despite him being ENORMOUS baby 10lb4 he still seemed so small, and we were being far too gentle. It took his nurse aunty rubbing his back v.v.vigourously - and his huge burp followed by satisfied sleepy face to prove this point).

Until we mastered the winding we found DH pacing the flat with DS1 in a frontholder sling only thing that soothed him (think the upright position eased the pain), otherwise particularly in the evenings he just constantly fed, fell asleep...but within 5mins cried, so I fed, fell asleep...etc etc

Next time you see HV/midwife any BF councillor get them to show you how they would wind (the lying them on their back & bicycling legs also a goodun) as there are many positions / methods and you need to find what works for you & your DS.

And good luck - it will pass! (hopefully v.noisily)

Not sure if this any help but ds2 went through a phraze of long bf I think mainly because he was falling asleep at the breast. So I started massaging his feet whilst bf it seemed to really keep him awake and he started bf quite actively for the first time, before then his sucks seemed quite shallow. His feeds then started being only 20 mins and he was going 3-4 hrs between feeds. It seemed more contended in himself.

I had a similar experience with my first. It was horrendous and I really feel for you. It is very hard to tell why they are crying when they are that small but no poo since Monday would make me concerned about milk supply. Is he still losing weight or is it going up by now?

hopefully, I am glad you are seeing someone today. I actually disagree with you that 'perseverance will help'...womnen feeling thay have to 'persevere' is not usually what happy bf is about

It's more of a change of outlook, maybe? Not 'perseverence'?

I think, sorry, your expectations are high - you are describing a pattern with your ds that he can only have shown for four days or so, and which cannot be set in stone! He does not want to be away from you, in his basket - that's for sure! He needs you to be close - normal, natural and good. Less than 2 weeks ago he was with you, inside, all the time He needs to feed a lot - equally normal. Lack of poo needs checking out but if weight is fine, then it is not an issue.

Changing a newborn's behavuour and needs is very hard. It has to be easier for a grown up to change theirs - talk with the bfc about safe co-sleeping, about making life easier with a sling so your baby can be near you with your own arms free. If you have someone else around, they can help out with the holding - dp can try skin to skin with him, but not when he is screaming for you, choose a better moment.

For what it's worth, I think wind and techniques to bring it up are less likely to be helpful to you than an acceptance that your baby is normal and attention paid to getting support for you during these challenging early days.

He definitely needs to be weighed, though - I can't remember from your other thread if he has been, and what the result was, sorry.

Hi Hopefully

I'm sorry I don't have any kind of expert advice for you as I'm new to this mummy business. The only thing I will say is to please try to get some sleep. Everything is so much easier after a good rest.
Maybe see if DP can take your son out for a walk, my son falls asleep as soon as he is outside either in his carrier or pram.
Best of luck with the BFC.

I disagree with TIktok that baby just wants to be with you. Babies want to sleep and when their needs are met they will sleep for hours at a time. It is awful being with a baby who will only sleep for 5 hours every day. It creates massive anxiety and unfortunately tirades of advice which are often conflicting and increase the anxiety further.

Best of luck with the BFC.

it is a shock at first how long babies breastfeed for, it often seems constant in the early days. if you're more used to people bottle feeding it can seem at odds with seeing babies have a 'full' feed that can be measured and timed.

tiktok is a bfc, she gives good advice.

also kellymom.com is very good.

you may find a sling helpful too, keeps your baby close but you can still do things, if you want to. lots of babies like this better than being on their own in a basket.

tiktok can you come over to this thread i don't want to be giving out incorrect advice!!

I agree with ruddynorah that tiktok does give good advice I just disagree on that one point.

thanks very much for all the advice. Just waiting for BFC to give me a call back, but will raise some of the issues you've all mentioned. I think I might have a few minor problems, like not being prompt enough with changing sides when he's slolwing/falling asleep, and not burping him properly (maternity assistant did it earlier, and he was doing massive belches, think I may have been being a bit pfb!)

I think in a way I just need constant reassurance that it will be ok, I'm not damaging him or me by my actions etc, which will probably seem hugely self indulgent to the BFC, but hope she will understand.

Re the pooing, maternity assistant lady popped round today, and after speaking to the MW, she said that if he still hasn't done anything by this evening, we should speak to the post-natal ward, and probably take him in for another weigh and check up tomorrow, just to be on the safe side. He was weighed on monday, when he had lost a little under 10% of birth weight.

Have the midwives discharged you already I thought they had to keep you on until they knew baby is gaining weight. Mine were weighed daily at this stage!

I am concerned about the lack of pooey nappies. They should be pooing several times a day at this stage, the few days between dirty nappies doesn't come until later.

You must let the BFC know about this.

I am concerned about the lack of pooey nappies. They should be pooing several times a day at this stage, the few days between dirty nappies doesn't come until later.

You must let the BFC know about this.

Ooops, not sure how that happened. Have just read tiktoks post and see that the lack of poo is ok if weight gain is fine.

Midwives haven't discharged me, but for some reason sent maternity assistant today rather than MW. Not sure why they don't weigh more frequently, especially in the light of lack of pooey nappies, but apparently one will come on sunday and weigh him, whether or not he begins to produce dirty nappies.

I remember making all sorts of excuses for the crying. We often decided she was in pain because she was crying so furiously. The drawing the knees up thing we put down to wind. In retrospect it was all hunger. It was only when she was well fed later on and we accidentally cut her finger tip when cutting her nails - drawing baby blood - that we realised they cry harder and louder about hunger than even about pain.

Hope he weighs more on Sunday. If not good luck getting the supply up.

Two of mine had slow bowels, which seemed to bother them hugely - the HV said with DD that every baby was different - couldn't care less iow. With DD I saw the gp, who gave me pessaries, with immediate and explosive results. I'm not suggesting pessaries are appropriate for a newborn (we actually only used them twice on our 3mo), but we found that just gentle pressure on the 'area' (not the actual business end) before you even used the pessary was enough to have the same effect. I stress we only did this once or twice, when he hadn't 'been' for about 10 days, but it definitely got things moving. I wish I'd known about it with DD, it would have spared her a of pain and discomfort for an otherwise contented babe.

Otherwise, I'm afraid I agree with Tiktok - constant feeding is exhausting and draining but very usual.