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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

was shocked by the amount of bottle-feeders in hospital

737 replies

misdee · 27/02/2005 09:35

found it quite upsetting at times. my bed was by the empties 'bottle bank', so saw how many people on the ward were bottle feeding. in the 4 days i was there, there were 10 women on the ward in total, and only myself and another lady was breastfeeding. The midwives offered help to everyone, but most decided on bottles.

the reason i found it upsetting was because i didnt want dd3 to have formula but that choice was basically taken away from me whilst she was SCBU and was given formula by tube.

OP posts:
Newyearmum · 27/02/2005 22:06

I think we're lucky these days that such amazing formula is available if we want to use it.

I am still part bf/part bottlefeeding my dd and I'm grateful to have the choice, although I bf exclusively for nearly 6 months. I have faith in the formula I use that it's providing her with everything she needs, but - and there's no getting away from it - unlike bf it's not taylor made for her...

leglebegle · 27/02/2005 22:07

JulieF, it can't be that well known because I've never heard of it! I find that statistic unbelievable I have to say.

sparklymieow · 27/02/2005 22:07

LB, It wasn't just aimed at you, Misdee will laugh it all off anyway, she has that kind of personality, but I just felt that some people were attacking her for an obversation. She didn't word the title well, but what else could she have put?

Newyearmum · 27/02/2005 22:09

Durrr...

I meant tailor made

god what has happened to my spelling brain

do you think it's the bf???

leglebegle · 27/02/2005 22:10

don't know. Its a very emotive subject on both sides I guess. It just came across as a bit judgemental, but that's the danger of forums like this, typed word can sound a lot harsher than its meant, and if you read it from the stance of agreeing with it, you don't get offended, but if you might have been one of the women on the wards for instance, its hurtful to think someone was shocked by your decision to feed your child in a certain way.

JulieF · 27/02/2005 22:11

Well its up to you whether you beleive it or not. The NHS quote it on their breastfeeding info part of their website. It is one of the basic facts you learn on breastfeeding peer support courses and of course all the major breastfeeding organisations quote it.

There are lots of other referenced facts with regards to breastfeeding and formula feeding but I can't be bothered to root them out at the moment.

Original poster
misdee · 27/02/2005 22:11

By leglebegle on Sunday, 27 February, 2005 8:37:49 PM
'Its terribly judgmental to sit on a ward, nursing your baby, and looking at others and assessing what they are doing. Don't say you weren't judging them, because in order to feel 'shocked' you must have had a negative reaction to what you saw, it stands to reason. There are some parts of 'womankind' that make me really sad, and Mumsnet frequently shows the very best and the very worst sides of women, and one of the worst is how judgemental we can all be of each other. I would like to think that on probably the biggest day of her life, the woman sitting next to you on the ward, or wherever she was, had the right to expect a little kindness and empathy from you as at the end of the day, her choices only affect her and her family, not yours. I fully appreciate that your posts on this subject are open, engaging and insightful, and certainly don't need duster to quote any more of them to assist people in understanding your points, I just find your attitude to it a bit precious, although am not saying you aren't entitled to how you felt of course. '

i felt shocked at the % of mums using formula. and i chatted to most of the mums on the ward, and admired their babies. i didnt get into feeding choices with them, but a few commented on their choice to bottle feed, saying their couldnt bear the thought of breastfeeding. and i'm sure that some of them probably wondered what i had done wrong when dd3 was taken away during the night to SCBU to reurn the following afternoon with a tube down her nose. and i admit that on the 3rd day i was so upset as dd3 was being formula fed and iwanted to get home that iconsidered moving to formula. it was dh that stopped me as he knows how important breastfeeding is to me, due to our others dd's health problems.

OP posts:
oops · 27/02/2005 22:12

Message withdrawn

leglebegle · 27/02/2005 22:15

Misdee, can we just leave it here, as I completely respect your feelings and just ask that you can respect mine. Its a really emotive subject for both sides and I'm sorry to hear that your dd3 had problems in hospital.

sparklymieow · 27/02/2005 22:15

I think this subject will always go round and round in circles, Breast feeders get upset by bottlefeeders who think that BFeeders look down on them, Bottlefeeders get upset because they think that BFeeders think they are better than them, then you get the breastfeeders that think its the end of the world if you put a bottle in a baby's mouth.
I think the best thing is for everyone to do WHAT IS BEST FOR THEIR BABY!!!!

oops · 27/02/2005 22:18

Message withdrawn

leglebegle · 27/02/2005 22:18

Hear Hear. Oops, are you mixing me up with happymummyof2? having re-read, I think you are!

oops · 27/02/2005 22:19

Message withdrawn

MummytoSteven · 27/02/2005 22:20

I will (and have done in RL) the right of any woman to extended BF (thanks to the useful WHO information on MN mainly). Equally if a woman feels uncomfortable BFing, that is her right too.
Call me a selfish mare, but there is enough body parts that hurt like hell after birth IME that I can quite understand someone just not being able to face having extremely painful nipples.

I feel that support for women, whatever their feeding choice is important, which is why I am very uncomfortable with the idea of making life more difficult for bottlefeeding mums to "persuade" them into breastfeeding.

in terms of sad experiences; DS just didn't get the hang of bfing, and ended up jaundiced and dehydrated at 17 days, and readmitted to hospital - I find it sad to think of him being discontent and hungry so early in his life.

leglebegle · 27/02/2005 22:21

Oops, really don't know regarding my friend, but definitely not cultural, well as definite as you can be about these things. She says she just felt really odd, very uncomfortable, felt her breasts were sexual but then ceased to be when she had attempted to b/f. I think she did for a couple of weeks. then she felt very unsexual about them afterwards and it took her years to get back 'in the groove' as it were.

sparklymieow · 27/02/2005 22:22

I actually find the fact that a baby comes out of you more wierd than breastfeeding, IYKWIM. I mean.... animals give birth, and we do the exact same thing!! I know, I'm wierd!!

lilsmum · 27/02/2005 22:22

well....lol, just wanted to add a little more to this thread, as i said before i chose to formula feed my dd, i made the decision TO breastfeed early on in the pregnancy but as the pregnancy progressed and family/friends asked how i was going to feed dd they told me all the negatives, which i may add (silly i know, i normally dont give in to peer pressure!!) put me off the idea totally,so i changed my mind,

i must add my mum didnt breastfeed me or my brother and neither did any of my family come to think of it, nor did dp's family, i started to worry about silly things i.e feeding in the presence of others (i am a very shy person)and the infections etc you can get, i also got very cracked nipples in the last few weeks of being pregnant which also bothered me as i thought i wouldnt have been able to breastfeed anyway, also i never got any milk come at all..either when pregnant or after having dd.

i do now really regret not breastfeeding, AND if i do have another child i will certainly give it my all (if nature lets me of course i.e no probs) to breastfeed.

end of input

Original poster
misdee · 27/02/2005 22:22

weirdo mieow

OP posts:
sparklymieow · 27/02/2005 22:24

oi, you cow!!!!! Oh yea, you are a cow at the moment ain't you!! being milked by DD3!!! lol

Original poster
misdee · 27/02/2005 22:24

moooooooooo.

OP posts:
sparklymieow · 27/02/2005 22:25

hahah, don't miss that feeling at all, I felt like cow for ages when I was expressing for Dd1 and Dd2

oops · 27/02/2005 22:25

Message withdrawn

leglebegle · 27/02/2005 22:27

I keep saying unsexual and I think its asexual! oops, I have no idea, not really the sort of thing you can ask. Yes it was my friend, did you think it was me!!!! Like I'd write about THAT on a chat site!!!

oops · 27/02/2005 22:30

Message withdrawn

sparklymieow · 27/02/2005 22:32

I'm glad I'm not the only one to find that strange I didn't feel that way after I had DS, don't know if it was because he was a CS but when I had my girls naturally, I found it really wierd!!

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