breastfed 9 mth old who will drink water from a bottle but not formula milk

[smilerElla]

Can anyone offer advice as I have been trying to offer formula milk to my 9mth old Ella for some time in order to maybe get 1 night of freedom. I am currently breastfeeding her 3-4 times a day, and inbetween she will take water from a bottle but refuses formula milk. have tried a beaker also with no success, she seems to dislike the taste of it, regardless of brand.

I am confused about when and how to try her with formula, do i try it when shes hungry/in-between? she obviously knows i have breastmilk on offer so she just thinks im feeding her if i hold her and try her.

Hopefully someone can offer advice.

Thanks...

My dd didn't like formula either. She occationally took the ready made stuff but never the powder. I also found she would only take it from a beaker. She'd take expressed breast milk from a bottle, fussy wee bu*r's arn't they

Yes they are, how old is your dd now and how/ did you eventually manage to swap her to formula?

thanx

She's 18 months now.

She never really went onto formula, I just expressed untill she was 12 months then she had cows milk when I was at work from a beaker. It just got too stressful and expensive so I gave up trying after a couple of months. (I only started trying when she was 8 months). The only one she would take was SMA Gold in the ready made carton and that was only sometimes. We used Nuk bottles or tommee tippe free flow beakers.

I only gave up bf'ing last month, she was only on breakfast and bedtime anyway and would take a beaker of warm cows milk if I wanted to go out or if I needed a break.

Sorry, that wasn't that helpful, so I'll give some more details.

I started giving her 20ml, then 30ml etc to get her used to it and did it at ramndon times. I tried to make it fun and pretend I was drinking ot too, this worked better with the beaker.

My dh found it really hard to be patient and encourage her. My mother was really good and the woman at the nursery managed to give it to her no problem. I think allot of it is the attitude you take to the table, babies can sense your nerves.

Hope this helps.

Thanks for your reply, I know thats what happens with me, I try for a bit and get disheartened when she wont take it. Im desperate for a break as I also have a 3 1/2 year old and havent had a night out for a long time. how did you manage to stop morning and bed feeds? didnt she use you to settle to sleep?

sorry for all the questions, its good to hear from someone who's been there.

Thanx

No, thats ok, I'm happy to help, it was me on here asking the same things when my dd was going through this.

I totally understand you do get to a point were you just need a bit of space from being Mummy all the time and being the mobile feeding unit. It must be hard work with a 3yo as well, I think I'd be tempted to give dh a beaker and to only call me if there was blood or if the baby had been screaming for more than an hour

Again I used the No Cry Sleep Solution, stopped the bedtime feed first by giving a beaker of warm cows milk and then a quick bf to settle to sleep. Then started pulling her off just before she would drop off and rubbing her back/tummy to sleep. Then took it another step by not letting her even get drowsy on the breast and just rubbing her back/tummy. Then she just started getting more and more into her beaker of milk, which turned to 2 beakers and cuddles and I still rub her back to sleep.

The morning feed was harder to stop because she would wake at 5 am and if i bf her she would sleep till 7 am. I didn't really try and stop it, she just kind of did it by herself and started to sleep a little longer and then she would be awake if I bf her or not. So it just made sense to give her breakfast instead and she was quite happy.

She also dropped the day feeds by herself, I offered beakers of cold milk and sometimes she took it other times she'd want to bf. I kind of followed her lead, mainly because I was so worried she wasn't getting enough, I gave her every option.

Hope this helps.

Morning, Thanks for your posts Sushipaws, yes it does help point me in the right direction thanks.

I think im not brave enough to try the beaker and only call me if theres a problem, perhaps im not giving her a chance to take formula milk only because i dont think she will and i'll be out stressed thinking everyones going through hell and shes screaming, which i hate to think is the case.

Yes it is very hard with the 3 yo also she wants alot of my time and dont think she totally understands when i need twenty mins or so now and then to stop and feed Ella. She really plays up during the day for attention and i end up being a stressed wreck by the time my dh gets in.

with formula I think the main problem for me is that if i hand her a beaker or bottle she kindof puts it to her mouth and pulls away after she realises what it is. ive tried watering it down she takes a tiny bit more but not as much as id like. I also dont know how to tell her that the bottle is a feed,should i hold her in the feeding position and offer a bottle, i need to know shes getting enough milk so i can cut other feeds down?

Also, When Ella wakes in the morning, as soon as she sees me or i get hold of her she starts freaking cos she wants me to feed her, and in the evening the same she wants/needs me to settle her and wont go to bed without me. I feel so desperate for help, the health visitors havent really advised much on this subject except to water it down but thats it. really really desperate to sort this out as i feel ready to swap her to formula milk and start getting a bit more of my life back in order.

Yes i definately need a break as I havent had a night out for about 2 years, and have only been out the house by myelf for an hour since Ella has been born.

The worse thing is i love to bf her, but know i would be alot less stressed if i could get regular breaks and have a glass of wine or two just to destress in the evening or something.

Sorry for the long message, im sure you know how this gets you, Also i know you dont have all the answers, this is all things ive been thinking about over time, its nice to write it down!

Thank you for your advice...

I don't think having a glass of wine would be too naughty but I know you'd like to have a couple of glasses guilt free.

You sound very stressed and I think you should show this thread to your partner. I was also very stressed and mine turned into PND, I'm not saying your depressed but I know how one thing can lead to another and it feels like your going out your mind. The small amount of time you get to yourself is like gold dust, you'd give £100 for half an hour to have a coffee in starbucks with a trashy mag.

If you could just get a couple of hours away to wander round the shops or go for a swim, even once a week. The child free time might make the need to get Ella onto formula less desperate and you might be able to wait another month or so and she could go onto cows milk at 12 months.

For the time being I can give you some other tips on how I got my dd to take formula. She never really took it properly but she would when she needed too, like when I had nights out or the occational Daddy day. There was a couple of times when I'd come back from a night out and dd would be desperate for a feed and totally refuse a bottle. I'd have to bf even though I'd been drinking, it only happened a couple of times but I felt so guilty.

My dd liked only SMA Gold premade cartons, she never had powder. To start with I tried bf'ing her, then popping her off and popping the bottle in her mouth. It only worked a few times. The best way was to prop her up on some pillows or cushions and stick on Baby Einstien dvd. This would only work if she wasn't starving and wasn't stressed at all. My dd liked the milk really hot, between 38-39 degrees. She would also take lots of breaks and we'd play peekaboo in between mouthfulls.

I had a friend who introduced bottles by giving them to her dd while she was pushing her along in her buggy. She seemed so shocked to be eating and moving she just drank it all up.

Have you tried expressing? Will your dd take expressed milk from a bottle?

There are quite a few charities out there who will offer a few hours free childcare. I used the Post Natal Depression Project, they looked after my dd for 2 hours a week. They are a registered nursery thats free. There is also the Scottish Parliament who have a free creche, you have to stay in the building though, I meet my friends in the cafe for lunch.

Sorry I can't help more. Are you going to baby toddler groups? I guess it's harder when you have an older one, people will just expect you to know everything already.

Phew, 2 years is a long time, can your dh help out more? Can he try to settle dd to bed at night? It might take hima while but she'll get used to it. My dh found it really hard but he hated failing and kept trying untill she went to sleep. He's no angel, I've only been out a few times, but he see's it as important that I have some time to myself. It works both ways, you both need time to yourselves.

Sorry, I've really spraffed on, dh is watching football and it bores me silly.

Hello, thanks for replying..

Yes I am stressed with it all and have had partial PND in the early months with Ella, I was finding things a bit hard and wasnt prepared with how having a 2nd would turn my life upside down. Yes Id give anything to be able to go take time out, but Im a bit of a worrier and dont like the thought of her crying for me and me being nowhere in sight, it makes me feel awful.

Ive tried a few milks, all cartons, sma being one of them, I find Aptimil the best in terms of smell, its not really that pundgent, so ive assumed it'd be the best (mayb im wrong).

I'l try the cushion thing and see how that works, I had expressed in the past when she was younger but she never liked bottles then. Now ive got her taking the bottle with water, its the milk thats the problem.

I didnt have this problem with my 1st i gave up bf really early as i didnt think i was doing it right and didnt have the right support so bottles were easy transition, i wanted to give it more of a go this time just wish id given the occasional bottle in between so mayb i wouldnt have this problem, just didnt think this far ahead.

I woke up this morning before ella, and before she was ready, sterilised a bottle put some carton milk in and when she woke it was ready for her to try, i got her out of her bed and stood up with her and tried her with it, i thought if id have sat down she would lean back for me to feed her, she started sucking a bit but didnt really seem interested in the bottle or milk. Not sure what to try next. Do you think it is a good idea to drop the morning feed and switch straight to a milk breakfast when she first gets up?

I figure if i drop the feeds slowly she will forget routine and perhaps be a bit more willing with the milk..??

She is actually ten months in about a week..

I am being a bit selfish, we are going on holiday early December and id really like to totally relax and enjoy myself if you know what i mean, so i have set myself 2 months give or take to swap to formula.

Thanks alot, it felt strange reading your message theres so much truth about the way im feeling, its nice your trying to help me, thank you...

SmilerElla,

I'm so sorry, my laptop died and I've no idea what my password is for Mumsnet, it's on my keychain.

I'm now back and I just wanted you to know I'd not buggered off midway through a conversation.

Hope your okay. Sorry.

Hi, I'm another whose child was only really prepared to take milk from a cup rather than a bottle and was breastfed for longer than I'd actually planned!

One thing that I would like to share is that an NCT breastfeeding counsellor told me that you would actually have to be drinking a bottle of wine a night and feeding not long afterwards in order to actually be getting enough alcohol into your baby to harm it (and she was talking about newborns here, not 9 month olds). Breastmilk is like your blood - while you are a bit pissed, it will have alcohol in it, once you have sobered up it will be lower in alcohol. It 'cleans' itself, just like your own blood. If you have a couple of glasses of wine at 8 or 9pm once your kids are in bed and don't need to feed again until 11pm, that is absolutely fine as I understand it. Hope this helps!