Breastfeeding while pregnant

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i just wanted to know if anyone had any problems getting pregnant while bf (my periods started 4 months ago)also would love to hear about peoples experiences on bf while pregnant i've had quite negative feedback from my doc and a few friends.

forest ? I am no expert on this and I know that there are many factors that affect fertility. Also that it varies widely from woman to woman. Body fat does play a role (fertility is lost when one becomes very underweight) but it would be simplistic to say the fatter you are the more fertile you are! In general fertility has increased in the Western world (girls start their periods earlier now) and part of it is due to our richer diet and larger proportion of body fat. In societies with poorer nutrition they obviously have less resources so it is natures way of making less births. Also I think they exclusively breastfeed for longer thus keeping periods away longer. They keep their babies closer to them whereas we may tend to have them in cots sleeping apart from us. We give water, dummies etc. All these things mean less time at the breast and therefore a greater return to fertility.

I had read somewhere an article about tandem feeding but can?t find it now. It said that societies vary ? some just stop abruptly with the first child when the 2nd is born, others during pregnancy. Some babies seem to not like the taste of the milk during pregnancy and some stop just because the milk dries up.

In retrospect for me it would have been better if No1 had stopped before No2 was born as I did have a bit of ?fighting? at the breast when dd was younger. This didn?t last long and I suppose it was a jealousy issue which had to be dealt with like any other. I do feel that at age 2.9 when dd was born that he was old enough to stop anyway. On a more positive note allowing him to breastfeed meant that he didn?t feel excluded and kept that bond I?ve had with him since his birth.

With your dd being so young still you may feel you want to continue for a bit longer. Also with her age it may mean you can leave off worrying about stopping fairly soon before the birth as she won?t remember it so easily as an older child would. See how it goes. All the best.

I did find this article which may be of interest ?

tandem feeding

It is interesting that I became pregnant just after I had moved dd out of the bed and into her own room and had a week of no night feeds. Shocked that I became fertile so quickly but it sorts of ties in with what you have said. I wonder if there is some sort of hormone released telling your body your baby is 'lost' so you need to replace it. Just wild speculation here. But it also happened to a friend of mine - moved baby out, stopped night feeds and bingo she was pregnant!

Are you pleased then that you tandem fed (feed - are you still feeding ds, can't remember). Still can't get my head around feeding two. But can't imagine stopping feeding dd - how do you get them to sleep without a feed? So far, I haven't had any tenderness feeding her - can I say this it has started feeling really nice, like it did at the beginning. I think I will just have to start working on cutting out some feeds through the day and take it from there. How quickly do they forget?

forest - yes that is sort of right but kind of the wrong way round. The sucking action of a baby prevents certain hormnes being released which could lead to a pregnancy. It is directly related to the amount of sucking and is also time dependent so less frequent feeding, particularly through the night means that your body starts thinking - oh no baby here so I can maybe have another? I have this paper in my 'library' and here is an excerpt -

"Stimulation of the nipple during suckling results in three responses: first, the release of oxytocin from the posterior pituitary to allow release of the milk present in the breast to the baby; second, the release of prolactin, which is essential for milk production for the subsequent feeding; and third, the suppression of gonadotrophin secretion, which results in suppression of ovarian activity"

Yes still feeding ds - now aged 3.5! but I would rather have stopped by now. It is generally only bedtime and morning. I think due to his age it may have been easier to have stopped before dd but he was 2 before I even got pregnant so quite different from you. ds gets himself to sleep fine on his own - they do grow out of needing boobie to sleep eventually. How much is dd feeding now? She is still qutie young to maybe think about cutting out feeds. Difficult to say how quickly she would forget. ds was almost stopping 3 months before dd was born but we didn't quite manage it and he obviously started getting interested again when he saw her feeding. I think you've got plenty of time at the moment - if your dd isn't feeding much in a month or so your milk may dry up and and she may wean herself no bother so I'd now worry about it at the moment. How far on is your pregnancy? Have you got a due date?

Well that does seem to tie in with what has happened to me.

Dd is feeding a minimum of 5 times a day - I've been counting the past few days. Before I found out about this pregnancy I wasn't caring how many feeds. I don't know how that compares to other babies her age - my friend definately feeds her 13 month old dd more than that so I feel my dd isn't having that many feeds. I'm not worrying too much about it at the moment as I know I have a way to go, due date Oct 29th. I'm being prepared! Ooh a word that doesn't usually apply to me

Can I ask if you have felt resentful towards ds about wanting boob when you want to feed dd? I think this is my biggest concern - I don't want dd demanding boob when I what to give it to the newborn.

Perhaps I am getting ahead of myself, but this is a situation I never would have thought myself to be in a month ago!

My eldest 3 all gave up breastfeeding at 15 months old (going from 4 feeds one day to nothing the next- ow!). DD was 18.5 months when DS1 arrived, so I fed her until I was 6 mths pregnant. I don't remember any difficulty (except the shock of finding I still suffered the weeks of sore nipples despite only a 3 1/2 mth gap between stopping 1 & starting the next).
I must have fallen pregnant with each of the other 2 boys as their elder brother weaned himself! (I've never thought of it like that!)
I found myself unexpectedly pregnant when DS3 was only 5 months old & fully breastfed, but lost it at 7 weeks. Don't know whether this was hormone related.

forest - it is good to be prepared and think about it. I probably put my head in the sand a bit but ds was such a confirmed breastfeeder I really couldn't see him giving it up easily. Yes I did sometimes feel irritated by him but he was coming up for 3 by then and I felt he had had plenty time with me all to myself and that dd needed her turn. Sometimes I would deliberately feed her in another room so he wouldn't see us. Interestingly he didn't fight during the first few weeks - it was after awhile when he realised that she was here to stay. I've read that you can reason with an older child and ask them to wait their turn. Didn't work with me! I found giving him a snack sometimes helped to distract him while I was feeding dd. Also I was good at hiding dd under my jumper so he didn't notice! I would say that if your dd will be 18 months then she isn't going to understand reason but that is a good age for distraction.

It is really up to you as everyone feels different. I would say that the difficulties only lasted a short time and that the first few months will be difficult anyway whether you tandem feed or not. It can be a very quick way of pacifying the older child but is a bit of added burden to yourself of course as the thought of large toddler can be too much! His asking to b/feed was just his way of seeking reassurance with the new baby and I guess no better/worse than strategies other non-breastfeeding children would adapt. So its up to you if you feel you can accommodate that. I found that ds settled down once he'd got used to the new baby and back to his twice daily 'feeding'.

I think going through the various scenarios is a good way of thinking about how you will feel. You don't want to feel resentful about your dd taking time away with the new baby but also don't want to feel guilty that your dd hasn't had 'enough' of you yet with her being so young still. It's not easy being a mother

Thanks for what you have said eulalia - it is very honest of you. I have taken comfort from what Tallulah has said and so the two of you have made me stop worring about it. I'll see how I go! Also the midwife is very supportive and very into the idea of tandem feeding so she is there if I have any questions.
Tallulah - did you find the age gap between your boys to be difficult? It will be the same gap as I am going to have.

You are welcome forest. How are you feeling by the way?

Feeling great today but the past week has been a nightmare - really tired, resenting dd waking me up through the night and wanting feeding and very moody towards dh. Thankfully, no morning sickness yet!

forest - just wondered how you were getting on with your pregnancy and if you were still feeding your dd?

I'm starting to get nervous about how I am going to give up breastfeeding my 17 month old before the new baby arrives. She has recently become a lot more enthusiastic about feeding to the extent of pulling up my top during the day and trying to help herself. Does anyone know how long it might take a toddler to 'forget' about breastfeeding as I don't want to tandem feed.

I'm doing fine Eualalia - thanks. I have been extremely tired and sick but that seems to have passed a bit (13 weeks today) and I have been so forgetful, honestly I think my brain has fallen out!
I am now down to 2 feeds a day - first thing in the morning and before bed. I think I can cut the morning one out if I am prepared to get up and give her breakfast. Not something I am looking forward to as she is waking at 6am. The one before bed I have no idea how to cut out. It calms her down and helps send her to sleep although she is not falling asleep at the breast.
I have no advice for you Bells2. How many weeks are you now? I had thought the milk dried up in the second trimester so I was hoping that dd would lose interest if there was nothing there but that isn't happening to you if your dd is becoming more enthusastic. It is hard isn't it?

Eulalia - did your dd have a good first birthday? We had a lovely time.

My 14 months old stopped feeding just over 2 weeks ago (milk dried up completely - then found out I was pregnant so that gave me an explanation) and he already seems to have forgotten about it (unless he ses my nipples). I found it easiest to give up if dh got up and did breakfast - it was easier as ds didn't see me than he was less likely to think about wanting to feed.

I am 17 weeks pregnant and down to morning and evening feeds. We are off on hols in a week or so and think I'll just go down to evenings immediately on our return and try and give up mornings shortly after that.

And congratulations Susanmt!

Bells - I am currently - litterally today - doing my bf counsellor tarining on "Tandem feeding" - do you mind sharing why you do not want to tandem feed? I realise while doing the training that I was not up to speed the subject as I thought I was...

I don't want to for a few reasons Pupuce. I guess the main one is just that I will be on my own with three small children and am worried about the demands on my time. I'm also concerned that DD might be upset to see me feeding the new baby if it's something she identifies as being special to her. We had a difficult time with DS over DD's arrival in terms of resentment and I just want to do what I can to reduce potential sources of tension.

I do not want to convince you either way but does your DD bf for long? She may enjoy the quick BF once baby is there... if you want I can send you some info - as I've just discovered stuff aout it that I didn't know.
Eulalia is a tandem feeder - Eulalia????

forest - it sounds like you are doing fine and will have plenty time to stop with dd or just keep it up as 2 feeds is manageable.

Thanks our dd had a lovely birthday too. Was your dd's on the 17th? a day after ours? The weather was gorgeous here.

There is some info on tandem feeding further down this thread. pupuce - if there is anything else you want to know then please ask.

bells2 - at 17 months your dd should forget fairly quickly. I would aim for allowing a couple of months clear just to make sure.

Interestingly I kept up feeding the older child so that he wouldn't feel resentful and that he would still be included in the breastfeeding experience. However I won't say it was easy as there was a few months of him trying to push the baby away. However this didn't last long and now he just totally ignores it when he sees me feeding dd. I want to stop with him but he insists on a 'feed' first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

It doesn't take a lot of time to tandem feed though so no worres there, ds would be content with a quick 'feed' of a few seconds. It therefore needn't be a cumbersome expereince. It depends on how much support you have - I didn't have a lot and it helped to keep ds happy in the short term.

How funny, it had never occurred to me that b/f could be a way of lessening any resentment my dd might feel but of course that makes sense. Will think about it some more. Pupuce, I would be interested in reading your material and will email tech. Thx.

Would I be able to keep it up to just two feeds a day? Or once the new baby is born and I have more milk and dd sees me bf would she want more? I am very happy feeding twice a day and feel very relecutant to end it.
Dds bithday was the day before yours Eulalia.

At first my ds didn't seem to notice that my dd was feeding. But this was short lived - after about a week I think he realised that she was here to stay and started asking. I think it was an attention seeking ploy. I gave in to him at home. I actually saw it as a quick way of giving him reassurance and attention. He would just 'feed' for a few seconds and then I'd say "that's enough" and usually he was fine. I saw it better to give in than have a big scene. I think it helped him to feel included. However when we were out I wouldn't feed (due to his age). He would pull a bit sometimes in public but was fairly easy to distract. The most diffciult time was at my parents house. Looking back more of it was a need for reassurance rather than him specifically wanting to breastfeed. The breastfeeding was just his way of feeling secure if you see what I mean. He is absolutely fine now so this period won't last for ever. The period after the birth will be difficult whatever you do. The only thing about tandem feeding is that it places more responsibility on yourself so you have to think about if you can cope with this. Anyway yes she may want more for a while but I don't think she will be at you every single feed. However with your dd being so much younger its possible she may not want to feed more at all.

When is your due date? It feels strange you being pregnant with our dds being the same age - I've not even got my periods back yet!

Ok its 'fess up time. I have singularly failed to stop breastfeeding DD (19 months) and it is now 10 weeks until number 3 is due. I have tried over the last few months but she has been really quite upset over the fact that with our Nanny being off, she has had three weeks in a combination of a Nursery and a temp Nanny to whom she took an intense dislike. She is now more attached to b/feeding than she was say 6 months ago and simply will not take cow's milk at bedtime.

I will have 3 under 4 and although will still have a cleaner, won't have any childcare help while DH works 60 - 70 hours weeks. Should I just go cold turkey now and stop her feeding or would tandem feeding be the easier option?. I am worried about the latter as DS (4 today) has made his views known on the forthcoming addition (it is "unnecessary to have a baby as we already have one" and I somehow doubt that DD will be overjoyed either. Honest views on tandem feeding appreciated.

forest/bells2 - just wondering how you are getting on. Still b/feeding with big bumps?

I was wondering about Bells yesterday, Haven't noticed anything from her for ages and from this thread I see she must be about due. ANy news?