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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding made me feel terribly sad and bleak

14 replies

charliebucket · 09/09/2008 23:32

Has anyone else experienced feelings of bleakness and utter futility whilst breastfeeding? A terrible emptiness and feeling that there is no point to life at all? In the days of boyfriends anyone touching my nipples used to give me this feeling and I always assumed it was because breasts were intended to do another job and a baby would be different. For some reason when I met my husband this feeling didn't happen and I loved him touching me. But through three babies feeding the bleak feeling was all I felt. No post-natal depression - was right as rain and happy so long as I wasn't actually feeding. Had the same sensation when expressing milk - like all the sorrow of the world was in my body. So much for serotonin.

OP posts:
Original poster
charliebucket · 09/09/2008 23:44

So I'll add very lonely to that then.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 09/09/2008 23:45

aww CB, I did read this but didn't know what to say because I haven't experienced it and don't think I know anyone else who has either.

but I do want to say well done for breastfeeding even though you felt that way

morocco · 09/09/2008 23:56

for you. do you think it was something hormonal?

BroccoliSpears · 10/09/2008 00:00

It does sound as though something hormonal was misfiring. Sorry you had that experience CB.

Original poster
charliebucket · 10/09/2008 00:06

I don't know. It is very weird. I have a friend who said she had feelings of futility too, when a boyfriend was up to his tricks, but definitely not when she was breastfeeding. Have never been prone to any other hormonal symptoms - no mood swings, tearfulness or any kind of PMT.

I have to say I didn't breastfeed for that long - only a few weeks. It was too sad. After being full of guilt and worry each time I'd turn to formula it was always a huge relief not to have that emptiness anymore. A bit like Dementors from Harry Potter were circling every time my nipples were in use! But not with my husband - go figure. I don't get it at all and was hoping someone else might have had some similar story. Guess not....

But thanks for sympathy.

OP posts:
madmouse · 10/09/2008 10:01

I have a milder form of this, also related to feelings in my nipples as a teen. Heavy, tired, empty. It was worse when expressing when ds in scbu, but to an extend I have it now still and he is 7months and happily combining bf and solids. I think it must be hormonal.

It is not jus tme then.

oops · 10/09/2008 10:06

Message withdrawn

savetheplanetdontiron · 10/09/2008 10:07

please have a talk to a breastfeeding counsellor aobut this even if you are no longer bf. I feel so that that was your experience and you did an amazing job to bf at all.

ChacunaSonGout · 10/09/2008 10:15

charlie - yes i get you

i had what i call a 'bad feeling' whilst bf 5 children theopposite to what others reported i dreaded feeding

i also experienced a slightly nauseous feel at let -down

i have been slightly better with baby 6
'bleak' is an adjective i would use to describe how i felt and mine was not linked to pnd either

baltimore97 · 10/09/2008 12:46

I felt the same too. I bf DD1 for a year, but only managed 11 weeks with DD2. I gave up because she was not gaining any weight, and even the breastfeeding councillor could not identify any latch problems. She is now much happier as a FF baby.

I can honestly say I never enjoyed a single feed with either of them. With DD1 I thought it was because she was a very tricky baby - fussing at every opportunity, distractable, refluxy, going through MANY nursing strikes. However, DD2 was much easier to feed, despite her not gaining weight, but I still felt dreadful.

When I finally made the decision to switch to formula with DD2 it was like life had begun again - and I have a MUCH better relationship with her and have really enjoyed her babyhood, whereas I feel the whole first year with DD1 was just a struggle from day to day.

Umlellala · 10/09/2008 12:53

I used to feel like this about my nipples, but I assumed it was related to past abuse. Interesting it may also be hormonal. I occasionally get this/and nausea but bf is not unpleasant this time around - nearly 8 weeks now. For me, something switched when I realised it was breastfeeding not nipplefeeding...

ChacunaSonGout · 10/09/2008 19:55

umlella

Umlellala · 10/09/2008 22:19

Oh no, it's now! Feeding ds is great, am amazed when I think that I wasn't even going to consider bfing dd (therapist convinced me to try). OP, I wonder if it is hormonal or psychological the feelings - cos I do recognise? Maybe some therapy would be worth it?

ChacunaSonGout · 10/09/2008 22:26

i was sad at abuse

very glad it is all good for you now!

op i think it is hormones with me

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