How "visible" is BF round your way?

[peacelily]

This is in no way meant as an anti-ff thread, I may well and up ff myself if my bf experienecs are anything like last time (am 5 weeks pg)

However I live in an affluent, slightly "bohemian" area inhabited by all sorts of people and lots of young families but am saddened by the scarcity of public bf.

It's not that I expect to see it everywhere but mpre frequently than i do. There are SO many Mums with babies about and TBH if you can't relax and feel comfortable bf here then I don't know where you could?!

One of my main probs last time was the acute fear someone would say something to me whilst Bfeeding in public, I know it's stupid but I just don't have the confidence to shake those sorts of comments off even though I know they're wrong. I really want to make a go of it this time though.

I would love to see it more normalised then I'm sure me and many of my friends would feel more relaxed about the whole thing. My Dutch friend however bfs with confidence anywhere and I wish I could be like that. I know that's partly to do with her culture.

How visible is it round your way??

South London BF more common than ff. Boobs EVERYWHERE in every coffee shop between school runs Feel quite odd giving a bottle in public even though lo is 7 months now in fact will generally give a quick bf if I am out and about and save bottles for home.

I'm not far from your neck of the woods in N London and don't see it all that much. I always feed at friend's houses or in the feeding room, not because I am ashamed or care what people say but because I have enormous boobs, need to whack them right out to feed comfortably and dd likes to come off, have a look round, go back on etc etc (and she's only 4mths!). I see bottles a lot more.

I;m in SW Scotland and think I may possibly be the only bf-er in the entire COUNTRY! and .

Very visble round our way - DD ensures that by having a good gawp at whatever is going on mid-feed

Plenty of others too - everywhere, buses, supermarkets, cafes, libraries, wherever. I fed DD while at the cashier in the bank last week - no-one cared, or even noticed. We're in Sweden.

I breastfed our three anywhere and everywhere and didn't have any negative comments. I draped my clothes over the baby and to be honest you could hardly tell.

If you see a fat woman breastfeeding in Doncaster, it's me.

Wasting

plenty going on down here in the mumsier cafs in Befnal and Viccy park

peacelily, from your comment re: the trafford centre I'm guessing your're somewhere round manchester? i live in Chorley. I have in my entire life seen one other person bfing in this area out in public - it was at a borders cafe in preston. I was scared to bf in public at first but after 4 months am totally blase about it. I have bf-ed on the train, in cafes that say they are bf friendly (there's one in my town, thank god) and ones that don't like Costa and starbucks, as well as fancy restaurants.

I prefer to do it in a cafe than use feeding rooms - I don't like being isolated and prefer to be comfy and drink my tea, plus the feeding room at the arndale centre is the same as the changing room and it always pongs.

No one has ever said a word to me, but I often wonder why I don't see more folks bfing around here. It's really no big deal when you get used to it, and if anyone is weirded out by it then clearly its their problem, not yours.

Very visible round by me. Especially if I'm feeding ( I don't do discreet, it's kinda hard with a J-cup).

Very few ff, certainly in the first 6 months

SW London - lots of public bf here

not at all visible here. but maybe they are all just hiding in the loos/changing rooms

despite this i have been feeding in public for more than 4 years ( different babies) and have NEVER had any comments about bf at all

please don't let your fear of other peoples reactions ( which will probably never happen) put you off Bf if thats what you want

honestly, you will get more comments /dirty looks when your two year old is tantrumming in the supermarket. but if you wait until your child is well behaved you wont go out until they are at school

i have had FAR more rude commenst about a buggy eg being told i must leave it outside the shop/changing room/cafe etc and carry my shopping plus baby plus toddler. a young male assistant in Gap told me that i needed to come back without the baby to try on a pair of jeans

I live in a middle class, white, well off area and i have only ever seen a couple of people breastfeeding at all the groups I have ever been to and most people seem to FF.

In fact, at one group today a woman brought up the "other people's breast milk" show and went on about how she didn't like it, there was no need for it, it's ok in Africa where babies can't take formula.....as if formula is the norm and breastfeeding is the odd thing to do?!!!?

I am hoping to BF number 2 but TBH don't like feeling like an oddball in a room of women.

How did it come to this?

I'm in North Scotland and am the only regular b/fer I know. There is a lot of talk about breastfeeding but very little follow through. Most people seem to think it's not possible to breast feed and go out (they tell me this as I sit b/fing my ds2! ), and that they will sleep better if you give them a bottle and "at least you know wht they are getting" (double ). Most of my friends who have had babies recently have either breastfed for the first couple of days or weeks then gone onto bottles, or started out on bottles. Lots of pg friends say "well I'm going to do it for three weeks but that's it"

And FWIW, I've b/f all four of mine and am currently b/fing ds2 who is 13 months, and I've never had any negative comments, despite living in such a low take-up area. People look suprised, but then usually just smile! (I've had loads of compliments too!)

Now that I'm back in NZ it's much more visible than when I was living in Manchester or Newcastle. I can't go to my son's nursery to feed him without bumping into another breast-feeding mum and three-quarters of my coffee group are still breast-feeding after six months and everyone gave it a go. Nevertheless in Newcastle I had one friend who I used to see breast-feed when I was pregnant which was encouraging. i think that I never saw anyone else bf there because it was always freezing cold (I lived there in Winter). In Manchester, me and my friends from ante-natal class used to go out together and there would be five of us breast-feeding on side of the table and four on the other. Only one women was ff, but they all switched to mix feeding much sooner than New Zealanders did (here we don't really do that) so it became less visible. 70% of women in NZ still breast-feed exclusively at six months compared to 2% in England. I did notice when I went on holiday to Amsterdam how much more visible bf was than in England. However, no-one has ever said anything negative to me about breast-feeding in the fourteen different countries I've breast-feed so I guess I musn't be very visible and I almost never use a smelly baby room.

I think I'm like your Dutch friend peacelily as I was bf and everyone in my family bf's and I would have been considered unusual in my circle of family and friends if I hadn't. It seems like such a cultural thing as my English friends were always saying how their mothers didn't nor did anyone else they knew. It must be so much harder in that situation as it isn't the norm. In England there just needs to be one generation to do it in order to re-establish feeding. I'm not anti-ff btw - by best friend ff's after struggling with bf, I just think it's sad when women don't even try like the women who were in the same ward as me and had little throwaway bottles of formula brought to them all mixed up and sterilised so they didn't realise how much more work is involved with ff. I was lucky with my hv who ran the local breast-feeding support group but I'm always hearing horror stories about other ones.
Good luck with bf peacelily - it becomes so much more comfortable after the first couple of weeks and H&M do great feeding tops and hotmilk do the best nursing bras. I'll shut up now and go to bed.

In my part of N London, it's very visible at all those baby groups. In fact, bottle feeding mothers always feel they have to offer an excuse why they're not breastfeeding.
However, outside these groups, I've not seen any breastfeeding ... maybe because these nursing mothers are very discreet? Or maybe because I never go to these special nursing rooms and just feed any place, anytime any where?

When I was in France, I was a bit anxious about breastfeeding in public and actively looked out for any other nursing mothers and saw none . In fact, whilst nursing in a brasserie in Paris, several people did a double take when they saw me breastfeeding ... but my 'baby' is 15 months now.

Peacelily - I was also worried about breastfeeding in public at first and for the first few times I took a bottle of EBM out with me just in case I found I just couldn't do it. Also, first time I bfed in public I was so tense my newborn kept pulling off the breast crying - I don;t think she was getting any milk because I was too tense to produce any.

There is an entire group of mums who go to soft play who say that BF is a "step too far", that being pregnant was enough of a sacrifice, why should they have to do any more?

I live in Birmingham which is not the most bf friendly place although there are posher bits where it's the rule, not near me. I did bf in the city centre quite a bit when DS was younger. Bf is very invisible in white communities here (I'm white), but I regularly see Pakistani women bfing toddlers in public round here and at toddler groups and know a couple of West Indian women who have bf children for longer, which has encouraged me to bf for longer.

I'm still just about bfing DS (27mo) but I don't let him bf in public anymore and he doesn't really want to - it's a bedtime thing. I found the most difficult age was around 9-15 months when he often couldn't really wait if he was upset, but he was old enough to raise eyebrows if I fed him in pubic, so I tended to use feeding rooms.

I was surprised by how many people just ignored it, especially men. I did get a very catty look once while feeding DS at 4 months on a bench from two 50-something women - but they didn't dare speak to me, only to one another. Most people smile if they even notice. I got heckled by a couple of drunk guys on a Saturday night who wanted to 'have a go!'- but it was in the spirit of banter, rather than an attack. I was once told by security guards that I wasn't allowed to sit in a little alcove in the wall of St Martin's church while feeding which was embarassing as I couldn't really afford to go and sit in a posh cafe for all of DS's (frequent) feeds. I don't know whether they just didn't want anyone sitting there or whether they had identified me as an 'undesirable' - that was the only time anyone actually stopped me.

I have asked if they mind in places where I think it might potentially be an issue before ordering 'cos I would rather just go somewhere else than confront it (greasy spoon cafes etc) and always been told it's OK.

Although I've been quite anxious about it, I've been pleasantly surprised that most people don't give a toss, even round here

Hi Tunicate- I'm in Bham too!
I bf dd until 17mo, with no problems. Have never had any funny looks or anything.
At the mother and baby groups I went to about 80-90% of mums bf. (posher area)
In the city centre, I fed in cafes or restaurants, mothercare feeding room but no- I don't think I've ever seen mums bfing anywhere else.
When I fed DD in mothercare at the Fort, other mums thought I was very odd!

was bf-ing outside a restaurant on a busy road in SE London the other night - causing some doubletakes from passersby but i doubt anyone would ever say anything.
in London it seems very common - on the bus, in museums, cafes, park benches, etc.
i cover everything with a scarf but wonder if that just draws more attention!

It's very normal to see women breastfeeding small babies in restaurants and cafes in my town in Belgium. It's because all the restaurants are very child friendly, breastfeeding rates are high until about 3 months, and even if people did object, belgian people are far too reserved to comment.

I felt far more self concious bfing in public in England. I had someone in England apoligise to me and rush out of the toilets in shock when they saw me bfing - it was in a baby feeding room in M&S which just happened to contain the female toilets as well.

I live in east London and its more common now. I have had no problem feeding whenever whereever as can be very discreet. I fed for 8 stops on the tube last week no once even noticed what I was doing I am sure they would rather than than listen to a screaming baby.

Glitterbird, where in the east are you? come on over to the local mumsnet site!

I'm still bf and my dd is just over a year. Been doing it long enough not to care where I am but you get more looks with an older baby. Personally I'd much rather see people BF ing than hearing hungry babies screaming!