Failure to breastfeed

[Antonia3]

Hi..I am still so sad 9 mths after birth of my dd. B4 birth, always thought wld bf for at least 9-12 mths. My dd was 5 weeks prem (v healthy tho) but the hospital monitored her blood sugars for 72 hrs & gave her formula from a cup when they dropped. After that, she was just not interested in my milk. Expressed for 3 wks, then milk dried up (was very very down & stressed). Have so many regrets now - never called bf counsellor (tho saw hospital one & midwives lots).
My dd is wonderful, but I can't get over this. I feel like a failure and find it very hard to be in company of any friends who are bf - don't feel like a proper mother or woman. also worried will go wrong with any future baby. anyone been in this situation? i can't find anyone to talk to about it.

Thanks, everyone...think I WILL find this easier to accept soon - am fine unless I start dwelling on it. Am thinking of going to see my doctor and just saying I am finding it hard to come to terms with it. I have really noticed that I feel much worse about this when pre-menstrual. Hormones, I suppose. My dd is so fab - the most feisty girl the world! SHE's certainly not worried about drinking formula (she is a milkaholic anyway, so who knows if I'd even have kept up with her appetite if I HAD bf)!

I was thinking about your post while out jogging, Antonia3 (yes, I'm a saddo who thinks about Mumsnet Offline!). I'm a fully paid for and signed up member of the Militant Breastfeeding cult, too....

I don't think you should beat yourself up about this. I know women who stop feeding or never start because they want to get drunk, go shopping without baby, stupid excuses...

People like you who gave it a jolly good try should never feel guilty. Perhaps you could have tried harder, but who couldn't be a better mother? Sometimes I think breastfeeding is the only parenting thing I have managed to get right....