Under fire for lack of routine and sleep deprived from feeds - help!

[EmmyJo]

Ok this is a long one as I am very tearful and anxious today. DS is knackering me out! He's 16 wks and pretty much exclusively breast fed - occasionally has a bottle of expressed or formula when I am out (rarely!!)
My partner seems to think it is time to stop feeding him on demand and try and establish more of a routine so he 'knows when to expect a feed/ nap etc'. He is also concerned about how shattered I am all the time. I am generally rubbish at routines but feel pretty useless about not managing one with DS. I am wondering if his fretting to be held for much of the time (taking it toll on me as he is big for his age) and recent wailing fits might be the cost. DS feeds roughly every 2 hours during the day and sometimes even demands again after only an hour which my partner sees as him 'snacking'. When I try and space out the feeds he often gets distressed. At night he sometimes goes from 8pm until 1pm before waking for a feed and then has one or two more feeds before 7am and the interrupted sleep is making me feel awful. In the last week or so he has been wailing for more after emptying both breasts in the evenings and at times seems to want to feed solely for comfort (especially from his teething pains) and to help him settle. I am also using a dummy at night and in his buggy. I generally feel that my DS is thriving and I have been happy following my instincts with him most of the time. However he had cholic as a newborn and still suffers with reflux and trapped wind/ stool so I spend long periods winding him/ doing massage as well. Also his regular vomiting makes me reluctant to give him massive feeds. I find it tough feeding him when he has just been terribly sick. I've tried gaviscon - he spits it out -and cranial osteopathy but still having probs. I'm also back to work full time in Jan so realise I probably need to change things if he is to adjust at all well to a childminder. I know there are many different issues here but would really appreciate some feedback as feel I am going a bit crazy with it all. Any thoughts re establishing a better routine, introducing top up formula feeds (so far chuffed to have avoided this), solving reflux etc

Emmyjo - sounds like you're doing a great job! Nothing really to add to what's been said here, but just to say, early weaning could well make his constipation and reflux a lot worse, as could introducing formula (as well as obviously affecting your milk supply).

We really struggled when ds hit 4 months - and I started to introduce solids at 24 weeks (slightly earlier than recommended) but as we did BLW he didn't really eat until he was about 8 or 9 months - which is perfectly normal! (Wish I'd known that at the time though! )

Your ds is following a very normal feeding pattern for his age but if you do want to introduce a routine for naps and so on, I can highly recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley - it helped us a lot to get ds into more of a routine for his naps but it was for my benefit, not his!