In this country they find b/feeding in a swimming pool embarrassing... now look what they do in Venezuela!

[emkana]

I wonder what Blair's face would be in a similar situation?

One of the lovely things about b/feeding is, IMO, that you can't b/feed without being physically close to the baby. So the baby always gets cuddles automatically, even if your mind is on other things.
Joolstoo, I think it is very judgemental when you ask lailag, in a very pointed way, "you're feeding your baby and your mind isn't on her?"

That's why b/feeding makes for much more of an easy life than bottlefeeding - you give cuddles automatically while doing it, you give antibodies, precious nutrients etc automatically, so have to worry less if your child eats not quite as balanced as it should for a while...
it's great!
And while I'm writing this my 18 month old dd2 is stuck to my boob, stroking me...
I'm sure a thought that would horrify some people

Uh-oh...the thought police are patrolling again.

I used to walk around doing all sorts of jobs, even frying with a baby attached. No, your mind isn't on the feeding and that is how it should be. As long as you cudle the baby for its own sake at other times.

anorak - who is your post aimed at?

Gobbledigook

Hey gobbledigook, don't want to start anything just didn't know thoughts were a crime these days. Maybe you meant it tongue in cheek as I'm notoriously slow to pick up on these things.

Anorak - it's not me it was my mother (JoolsToo) on my computer - she got it in the neck for her contentious comments under my name I can tell you!!

Great pic, emkana

That's why b/feeding makes for much more of an easy life than bottlefeeding - you give cuddles automatically while doing it

I give cuddles automatically while bottlefeeding too - never encouraged DS2 to hold his bottle on his own so at 14 months he still enjoy cuddling up with mummy or daddy for his bottles

Am I the only other mum who didn't always cuddle her baby when b/feeding - when I was tying to feed a toddler, or answer the phone, or dust, or pay a bill on the computer, at the same time, I was holding her on - nothing more! I'm a bad mummy....

LOVE the photo though...! I bet this thread wouldn't even exist if she was bottle feeding

well, I don't feel a bad mum bf and answering the phone etc etc, just when bf and spending too much time on MN....

WOW! What a great photo! I love the fact that the copy underneath doesn't even mention her feeding - what a hoo-har there would be if a photo like that appeared in the British press!

PG - I don't think you are a bad mummy at all! It's just interesting because often the closeness you have with your baby is one of the benefits of breastfeeding and it's supposed to help bonding. Personally I don't agree because your baby is just as close to you if you are bottle feeding and it's just the same opportunity to cuddle. It certainly isn't going to help bonding if you hate every minute of it and end up in tears every feed like I did either!

Anyway, sorry, gone off on a tangent. Just saying, I don't think you have to be 100% focused on your baby every single time you feed!

IME once the baby is past the tiny stage and regularly breast-feeding, most people pop them on and carry on doing what they were doing. Certainly true of the post baby coffee mornings that I frequented - pop baby on and carry on chatting.

Message withdrawn

But there are stacks of other things dads can do to bond.

OMG-here we go again-breastfeeders good, bottlefeeders bad.Guilty mother syndrome, next we'll all start "actualisation" (sp)

Wonderful photo.

I have been quite upset by some of the comments here - not because they were meant nastily - I'm not even cross with people who've posted them, just feel disappointed again by what I had dreamt of which never happened.

I was so looking forward to breastfeeding ds, but I hated the lack of eye contact, the absolute pain and the fact that I couldn't even cuddle him when I wasn't feeding him because I couldn't let anything touch me it was so painful. For me bottlefeeding was a wonderfully close bonding experience, we had constant adoring eye contact, huge cuddles (however long you've been bottle feeding one hand free is the best you can ever manage) and a happy non-crying mummy and baby. I gave up breastfeeding because of the huge wedge it had driven between me & ds & how we couldn't bond until I'd stopped.

As I say, I'm not angry with the people who've posted about bonding, closeness or easiness. I really believed this was fact until I found completely the opposite to be true for me. And I am still holding out hope that things will be like you've described for me and ds2 when he arrives.

this was never about breast vs bottle and bonding and breast being dependent on each other - actually quite the opposite. It was in reference to someone saying that the woman in the photo had no emotional connection - we were then saying that plenty of us breastfeeders, multi tasked, heavens I've fallen asleep doing it!!!
here is the actual quote ---->
"Personally, I think breastfeeding (or even bottle for that matter) is a lovely personal, bonding moment between mother and child - where's the emotional connection in that picture? "
It is actually quite a nice logical debate (99%)if you read the whole thing thoroughly
Are all bottlefeeders paranoid that breastfeeders or anyone think less of them as mothers? That is a whole new debate and I think was discussed really recently...

no piffle, you are absolutely right, bottle feeding mums shouldn't be all defensive. It's just that a lot of the comments here were stated as fact - about the bonding - and it just isn't a fact. My son has always been a fantastic sleeper, but I know I would be wrong to say "it is so easy to get your baby to sleep through 13 hours, just put them to bed at 6p.m." - yet that's how it is for me. I know that the sleeping thing happened naturally, but that it doesn't happen that way for everyone. I get upset when I see assumptions that breastfeeding is natural, close, connecting etc. because it was completely the opposite for me.

Just so you know, only the last 2 posts (not incl this one) are actually by me! The earlier ones were JoolsToo on my PC!

I think the quote Piffle highlighted was by GDK but it wasn't me!

but this was a discussion about breastfeeding IYSWIM, in the light of another thread where one woman got asked to leave the swimming pool for breastfeeding in London
So this was a humourous attempt, tongue in cheek if you like
Bonding is what most every parent does, you do whatever you need to do to bond, some find it easier than others, it is not to do with how you feed them the very act of nourishing them (as I stated earlier) is an emotional act, you are trying to sustain life as you love them!
Who else would you get up at 2am and pop your boob out for or go downstairs and heat a bottle up for?
We do it cos we're bonded
We're mothers AND we're bloody great!!!!!!!!!