Breastfeeding. Whats going on? [hmm]

[NewDad08]

Hi all,

I was hoping you could help with some problems my wife and I are having with our DS. Basically my wife has been trying to breastfeed since DS was born. For the first week we were told that the milk was in several times by MW's when it wasn't because my wife was anemic after the delivery. Due to this we had to combine with bottle feeding and using a dummy as DS was unhappy.

After the first week we made a real effort to get him back on the breast full time and with the help and support of breastfeeding experts and MW's we knew that DS was latching on really well. We stopped using the dummy and bottles completely and he seems to be enjoying the breast milk. At the end of week 2 he put on 1 pound and is looking healthy.

The problem really is this. We are now approaching the end of week 3 and DS is constantly wanting fed. When he is on the breast he feeds well and falls asleep after a while but will wake after 10mins and want fed again. My wife barely gets any sleep because of this behaviour and is exhausted. If DS does sleep its for 2 to 3 hrs max a couple of times a day and then he is awake again. We are both getting really stressed because there seems to be nothing we can do. MW's have suggested that this is normal but are very vague so we are wondering if this is normal? Do breast fed babys feed this way for the time period?

Thanks
NewDad08

We did a similar shift system to Starlight in the early days. My sympathies, it really is knackering.

In our case DS would settle for a few hours in the evening if held and rocked or walked in the sling by DH. I would feed at around 7/8ish and head off to sleep for a few hours, then DH would bring him to me when cuddling just wouldn't cut it anymore. I would then take over and do the night shift, he slept in the spare room on weeknights so that he had the energy help me out in the evenings after work.

During the day I didn't do much more than feed in the early days. Our house was a tip and meals were a bit basic, but we survived. It had got a whole lot better by 6 weeks, which seems like an age at the time, but really does pass.

Your DW has done a great job getting your bub back to the breast after a tricky start and you sound like a supportive DH Hope you both start getting some more rest soon.

I'm also feeding a newborn (plus toddler during the day), my husband helps me by bringing me nice food that I can eat one handed whilst nursing and plenty of water....as I get so thirsty when nursing.

It is so worth learning to nurse lying down on a bed, even if your wife doesn't sleep, she will get a well needed rest.

Tell her it does get easier, the older the baby gets the quicker they get at nursing.

TBH I quiet enjoy the night feeds, just me and DS bonding over a feed whilst DH sleeps on. The lack of sleep is tough but it doesn't last that long in the big scale of things and soon enough our babies will be weaned and sleeping through the night.

when do they stop being newborns? I mean, they will always be babies , but when do they go to next stage?

Our DS is 20 weeks and was feeding exactly as you've described at that age. It eases off a bit and then they have a massive spurt at 6 weeks when they hoover like mad for a few days.He'll get better at feeding more efficiently very soon.

I found it really great to spend all morning/afternoon - or often all day in bed feeding DS! Its a lovely way to bond with him and it means you get to replenish your energy.

Make sure your wife is eating and drinking well. I also found it very helpful when DP took DS into another room/out for a walk for an hour in the morning - I'd get a really sound sleep knowing that I wouldn't be 'called on'.

Lastly co-sleeping really works brilliantly for us. It makes feeding through the night much easier and I slept much better as I knew DS was safe and breathing! (As opposed to peering over the edge of the moses basket evdery 20 mins). When DS got more head control I could feed him lying down and then it is just as good as a full night's sleep as neither you nor the baby fully wake up for a feed.

I am really just here to reiterate what the others have said, it's hard and intense but it is over so soon and you look back with bitter-sweet memories! My DS is now 7 months and he was exactly the same with feeding as yours is now... and now he's self weaning off me! If I learnt anything this time round it is that you really cannot feed a newborn baby enough when you are BFing! hand in there!

I have 3 children and the youngest is 8 months old. I agree with the others that it's very difficult but it is normal. It will get better, but all this feeding is necessary to build up the supply.

I wish someone had told me it was normal when DS1 was a baby. I thought I wasn't giving him enough milk etc etc and it was very stressful.

What you need to do is support her on the practical things (like shopping and cooking) when you're not at work. Housework will probably have to be ignored for a while. She really won't be able to do much else but feed and sleep for a month or two.

Good luck. It does get better.

Furstly NewDad08 I would like to say nice one for taking such a pro-active interest in what your wife (both of you) are going through.
As all the other posts have suggested this is perfectly normal in the early weeks.
BF is all about supply and demand and DS has to keep feeding so that in the coming weeks your DW will produce the quantities he is looking for in every feed and eventually you'll see a clear cut and predictable feeding routine.
Take note though, that he will go through this feeding frenzy again prior to a growth spurt so do not be alarmed.
If this is your 1st child I would suggest your wife get a box set of DVDs have all remotes within reach, a drink and snacks to the side, feet up and just relax and feed as often as DS likes.
It'll be the perfect opportunity for her to rest her body after all the changes its gone through.