extended breastfeeding .......

[Slink]

I have been on this in the past saying i wanted to stop bf dd.Well i decided that i would continue, dd is now 20months today, just today i have been told by sil that i have a problem, i am making dd clingy and that i need to stop as it is not healthy, other friends and family have said the same. I went cold turkey a while back during the day but dd got ill so i went back to bf, DD feeds alot now two three times a day at night and once during the night, i know i need to control it but she has the loudest scream, i get days when i am sore and don't want to breastfeed dd goes to noone she won't let dh put her to bed to she will cry herself if i go out, i am in tears as i have not fed her all day till now when she is so tired with the crying today she has gone to sleep, please please help advice, a slap, a shake up i have noone i can go to. Dh is great he says do whats best for me coz i am with her all day, thanks for reading this far.x

Ignore them! Do what works for you and your dd.

Ds is almost 20 months old and has no intention of stopping feeding - I will wait until he is less interested before weaning.

The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding to 2 years as a minimum.

It is only in the west that we have these ridiculously low ages for forced weaning of children.

Either you arm yourself with the facts about the health and emotional benefits to you and Dd about continuing to breastfeed until one or other of you is ready to stop, and then you get ready to argue with your family

Or you have it as something which is just between you, your Dd and you (very supportive) Dh, and limit it to when you are at home alone

Or you give in to the pressure.

Me, I'm a bolshy cow, so I've always gone for the first option (and BTW, 2 or 3 times a day and once a night doesn't sound like that much at all for a not-yet-2 year old to me!)

I think there are different issues here. Extended BF-ing is fine IMHO, but I would want to encourage my DC to be less dependent on me.

You sound like a brilliant mum, there for her and putting her first, but perhaps you & DH could think of some strategies to wean her off you (rather than stopping BFing, which you could continue to do for as long as you like).

Does your DH get to spend time with her on his own when he is not working? Could they have a special thing they do together (without mummy), such as swimming or feeding ducks etc., to give you a break and develop your little one's confidence in being away from you?

I'm sure that I read somewhere that children that were self-weaned from breastfeeding, (that is natural term bfers) tended to be more confident.

Can anyone confirm this?

Take note of your lovely DH and ignore your SIL.

If you want to carry on, then do so and sod anybody who interferes.
There are some good websites out there with responses to negative comments - I'm sure somebody more competent than me will link to them. I think one is KellyMom?

I am bf my dd2 (3). I can fully empathise with you having days when you are too sore/tired. When I feel like this, I try to fill her up more with food and/or distract her or keep her busy in other ways.

I am very glad you have a supportive dh. You are doing brilliantly

Thank you for your support and advice. I have a 7 dd too and Dh loves spending time with them both and he does say to me go to friends have a soak just stay out of little dd's view to stop her always wanting mummy. When i am not around she is great with people wheni walk back in it's quick jump on that boob even if she is not hungry, i am bolshy (at times) but have just finished my period and tired from a few bad nights i think it's all got me, i am going to carry on sod them all amd i will do it and they just leave xxx thank you xxx

Slink,

You have the right idea, your DD sounds like a normal bf toddler, not an over-clingy child at all.

Ignore your SIL, she's talking rubbish.